So the four remaining members of Foa Foa head back to camp after sending yet another member of their tribe home (Liz.) Instead of moping around like you would expect, they actually spend their time plotting strategy for the merge that they are certain is coming up.
Yes, they are finally working together as a team, now that they have lost most of their tribe. Oh well, you gotta start somewhere.
Then we have a sidebar with Russell, just before we go into the opening credits. Not sure if you’ve noticed, but the Survivor producers have been giving this prime spot to Russell in almost every episode. They know he’s going to run his mouth and set the tone for the show.
And he doesn’t disappoint. “I’m too good for this game. I’m too sly.” And he can’t wait to take down all those “dumbasses” on the Galu tribe once the merge happens. The man is certainly very proud of himself. Can’t stand him.
Credits roll.
We’re over at the Galu camp, where Laura and Shambo are bickering at each other. It seems that Laura’s canteen disappeared during her forced stay (courtesy of Shambo) over at the Foa Foa camp. The heated discussion escalates for a while, and then ends with Shambo giving some weird-ass speech about… I really have no idea. It certainly didn’t have anything to do with canteens.
Shambo is just not all there. Not by a long shot.
Cut to Erik, in that damn tree. “We know Shambo’s crazy, so if you mess with her, that makes you a bitch.”
What the hell is THAT supposed to mean, Crazy Man Who Lives in Tree?
Anyway, back to Foa Foa. They get tree mail, but the wording is odd, so it’s not clear if there’s going to be a merge or not. The only thing that’s certain is that they are to meet the other tribe on a beach. Could just be a competition, could be a merge. Russell secretly snatches up his immunity idol just in case.
So both tribes get to this beach. Jeff is nowhere around. There’s just a chest. Inside of it, Mick finds a letter, and yep, they’re merging, everybody’s moving to Galu. (Everybody seems happy about the Galu choice. The Foa Foa camp doesn’t have squat. The Galu camp, since they’ve won, well, just about everything, has linen bed sheets and a caviar buffet.)
And just a bit away from the chest, they find the traditional merge feast. The survivors all dive into THAT bizness real fast, smacking and wallering around on the picnic blanket in an orgy of food. The merge feast is always fascinating, in that everyone is really happy and nice to each other. For about ten minutes.
Then, before they are even halfway done with the food and alcohol, people are already breaking up into little groups to strategize about this new configuration, with Mick, Jaison and Natalie from the old Foa Foa honing in on targets and starting baby alliances. Russell gazes upon their actions like a proud papa.
There’s a brief, revolting scene where Monica, probably liquored up on the wine, holds a bunch of grapes so that the evil mouth of Russell can pluck one off the bunch. When he does so, she squeals like it’s the most exciting thing EVER. Blech.
Russell in a sidebar: “Who gets grapes fed to them? KINGS DO!”
Sidebar with Natalie: “There ARE some cracks in Galu, but are they big enough for us to wiggle in?” Smart girl, like her. As long as the remaining Galu tribe doesn’t focus on a strategy of “kill off the remaining Foa Foa’s”, she might go a ways.
Another sidebar with Erik, no tree. He’s pretty proud of himself, thinks he’s running things. I’m starting to think that Russell and Shambo aren’t the only variety of nuts to be found on this island.
Then Russell gets to work with his lies, which we knew was coming.
First, he approaches Laura, showing her his idol and promising that if she gets him to final seven, he’ll give the idol to her. Then, stupidly, he tells her that there are rules that go with it. She has to vote people out in the order that he wants, and mess like that.
Laura’s not really impressed with this, partly because she thinks it stupid of him to show the idol and make a promise that can’t be trusted, but mostly because he’s so arrogant about it, what with the rules and all. So she tells him that HE’S the one that needs to be worried, not her. (Which is true.)
And of course Russell can’t stomach a woman actually talking back to him. Instantly, in his warped little mind, he thinks she’s threatening him, and she becomes his next target.
Russell then runs to Monica, who is posing in her skimpy bathing suit on a wet rock, and he shows HER the idol, promising that he will give it to her if she is ever in danger. She just kind of giggles and doesn’t really sound convincing that she even wants to speak to him, let alone be in an alliance.
Then we have Russell going to John, flashing the idol, and promising that he will give it to him if he is ever in danger. Same exact crap he fed to Monica. (Dude, can you at least try to be ORIGINAL in your lies, or is that just too much work?)
In this case, however, John seems to bite. Then Russell, over-aggressive as always, says that Laura needs to go. Amazingly, John seems down with that. They shake. (Of course, a man-to-man handshake doesn’t really mean anything in this game, but still, they appear serious about it.)
Next scene, Shambo is down at the water, trying to wash that mass of hair that she has. (How she’s able to stand up when that bush of hair is wet, I really don’t know.) Russell is the only one nearby, and he smartly brings up Laura and how much he would like her to go. Shambo glows with delight.
Russell in a sidebar about Sham: “I kinda like her, I could use her.”
Sham in a sidebar about Russell: “I trust Russell implicitly.” It’s official, all that hair has completely smothered and killed Shambo’s brain cells.
The two high-five about getting Laura out and they race off to do their damage.
Lots of brief, subversive meetings around camp as the two build support to get Laura out. And it seems to be working. (But it’s all about how they edit the show, right?)
Time for the Immunity Challenge, a t-ball thing where people whack at a ball and try to hit targeted areas to get the highest point. Interesting twist: There are TWO immunity necklaces this time. The guys will compete against the guys, the girls against the girls, and the winner of each match is safe.
End result? John wins the guy necklace, and LAURA wins the girl necklace. It kind of irritated me that everyone cheered when John won, but there was only half-hearted applause when Laura won. This is one of the things that bugs me about the later seasons of Survivor. Earlier on, you always cheered when someone won, even if you personally hated their guts. Now, people are just bitches. Sayin.
We head back to camp to start the mad scramble for a Laura replacement.
Russell and Shambo. Russell: “Let’s get Monica, break up the girl thing.” Shambo: “It’s out of our hands, with these numbers. Erik and Laura will decide.”
Laura, now safe, puts her own plot in motion. She tells Erik that Russell has the idol. Erick is stoked about this, and wants to flush the idol out.
Erik runs to tell John. John’s not so much interested in the flushing, he’s more interested in getting Monica out. (Okay, folks, WHY do some of these people want Monica out so bad? She’s not a threat, and she’s not going to win, unless she suddenly shoots some talent out of her ass. Get over it.) But Erik seems to think that’s a good idea. They can still flush the idol, but Monica is the one to go home.
Erik gathers all of the Galu Guys, and tells them to vote for Monica.
Sidebar with Dave. He’s a little nervous about the plan. Shouldn’t the focus be on gunning down all of Foa Foa, one by one? Understandable. But, to be fair, the history of Survivor is split on that. Sometimes slow elimination of the smaller tribe works after the merge. Other times, someone on the larger tribe after the merge has GOT to go, just because of the strategy of it all. But Monica? Again, not feeling the need for her to go just yet.
Erik then gathers the remnants of the Foa Foa tribe (EXCEPT Russell), and tells them that if they vote for Monica, they can stay. And they are not to tell Russell a thing, because they also want him worried enough that he will use the idol, even though he doesn’t have to, since Monica’s leaving.
Erik is actually very threatening about the whole thing, not trying to play nice at all. The three Foa Foa’s sit there and take it (why upset the apple cart at this point, right?) until Erik, acting like he is some kind of something, stomps off.
Then Jaison to the other two: “Let’s put four votes on Erik. I don’t care if it matters or not.”
And Plan C is hatched.
Natalie goes to Laura. What if we take out Erik? Laura smiles.
Laura pulls over Kelly. Erik? OMG, yes!
Then all hell breaks loose. People are running all over camp, whispering and pointing and conniving. There are so many flash-cut scenes that you really don’t know what’s going on. But everyone is clearly very excited, except for Erik, who is walking around grinning, thinking he’s in complete control, even though no one is running up to HIM with any news.
Russell in a sidebar: “This is the first time I don’t know nuthin’.” He’s a little freaked.
Tribal Council.
Right away, (with prodding from Jeff), Erik shows his ass. “I struggle to see anything Foa Foa has to offer.” And then he keeps going, being really cocky. I’m really not sure what he’s doing here. Is he just trying to scare Russell to flush out the idol? Or is he actually wanting everyone to vote for HIM, so that he can then whip out his idol, negate all their votes, and his lone vote for Monica will send her home. I have no idea.
We do have to endure one scene with Jaison, where he basically has a little self-pity party. I’ve always had to struggle to get ahead, and I don’t appreciate it when someone implies (like cocky Erik did) that he’s worthless.
Dude, everybody’s life sucks. Get over it. (Not a fan of Jaison, he whines too much.)
Time to vote.
And they do.
Just as Jeff is about to read the votes, Russell stands up and proffers his immunity idol. Jeff validates it as real, and Russell sits back down, grinning from ear to ear. He really thinks he just saved his own ass.
Which tells ME that Russell is all talk and no confidence. The first sign of possible trouble, he whips out some protection. He’s a baby-man, no doubt about it.
Jeff reads the votes.
2 for Jaison. (Erik and Shambo.)
10 for Erik. (Everybody else.)
The look on Shambo’s face is priceless. When her jaw dropped all the way down, her face was finally bigger than her hair, for a very brief moment. I’m not saying it improved her look, I’m saying it was a different look. She still crazy.
Erik goes home, flame snuffed
And Russell used his idol but didn’t even get a single vote.
My prediction? This will send Russell into a paranoid spiral and he will completely lose it, getting voted out within two councils.
Then again, I’m often wrong on this show. Because I expect people to plot and scheme with intelligence.
And that just doesn’t happen a whole lot around here….
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