Okay, folks, this was a long night. A two-hour finale, followed by a one-hour reunion show. Might have to break this one up into two parts, we’ll see how it goes.
We start with a VERY long re-cap on what has happened with the season so far. There was nothing new or shocking, so if you’ve been faithfully watching the show (or at least reading this blog) you could have skipped this entire section and not missed anything.
Roll opening credits.
We then have Russell retrieving tree mail, since once again he’s the first one up while the rest are still slumbering in the crappy hut. (We have a sidebar with Russell complaining about such, but I don’t really have any sympathy for him. Yes, he always gets up early. But then he marches off to look for idols or pour out canteen water. He never does anything to help around camp, like the rest of them do. So quit bitchin.)
Besides, since Russell has a black hole where his heart SHOULD be, he probably doesn’t need as much sleep as real human beings do.
Anyway, he wakes up the rest of the remaining tribe so he can read them the tree mail. Before he can even start, Jaison launches into a graphic description of how he has had diarrhea all night. (Seriously, how is it that this man is still on the island? Why hasn’t he been killed just to stop his complaining? Good gawd.)
The tree mail is another cryptic message about how you have to be really on your toes to win the Immunity Challenge. Like these people have to be told that. Do the producers really think anyone is expecting an EASY challenge where you just have to show up and everybody wins?
We then have a quick scene where Mick and Jaison are babbling along, and it’s clear that they are both convinced they will be in the final three with Russell. Really?
Russell goes to Natalie. Russell: “If Brett gets Immunity, you go home.” Natalie: “What?” (Audience: “What?”) Russell: “If he wins, I’ll need three guys to beat him the next time.” Okay, MAYBE Russell only said this to Natalie to get her fired up to try really hard in the competition. But even if that was the case, he basically just let Natalie know that she is expendable. Natalie, the one who has done the majority of the dirty work for him.
Natalie in a sidebar, sighing: “There’s probably no way I can beat Brett.” Girl, then get your ass in gear and go talk to Mick and Brett. The three of you can take Russell down. Do you understand that?
Time for the Immunity Challenge.
Right away, Jeff asks Russell if it’s everyone against Brett. Russell: “Yep.” (Jeff, dude, you’re not a Prayer Warrior. You didn’t make it. Let it go.)
This competition is a standard one, with folks racing around an obstacle course, collecting a bag of puzzle pieces, and then putting the pieces together. It comes down to a heart-pounding race between Mick, Russell and Brett. The Prayer Warrior pulls it off with seconds to spare.
I believe that my bellowing cheer made it very clear to all neighbors in a three-house radius that I was very pleased with the outcome of something going on in our house. Again, it was the underdog thing, and the “at least it’s not Russell” thing. I was quite happy.
We go back to camp.
Natalie in a sidebar: “I’m hanging by a thread.”
Russell goes to Natalie. “I’ll change the plan so you don’t go home.” She looks at him with glowing eyes of adoration.
Russell in a sidebar: “I still need Natalie. There’s no way she can beat me in the end.”
Russell in another sidebar: “The weakest link is Natalie. So do I send home Jaison or Mick?”
See, Russell has no concept that a woman can beat him. Fingers are firmly crossed that his Neanderthal attitude will cost him in the end.
Russell goes to Jaison: “We have to get rid of Mick.”
Russell goes to Mick: “We have to get rid of Jaison.”
Mick in a sidebar: “Natalie’s head is in the game, Jaison’s is not. Makes sense.”
Russell goes to Natalie: “It’s Mick or Jaison. Talk to me.” Natalie lists the pros and cons for both, and if you’re listening carefully, you realize that Natalie has everyone pegged just as much as Russell thinks HE does. Only she holds the trump card in that she realizes Russell really does discount her, and she’s not one to give up.
What’s really interesting is that we also have sidebars with Natalie, Mick and Jaison, where each one of them says the same thing: “I’ve had a pact with Russell since Day Two.” People, EVERYBODY has had a pact with Russell since Day Two. Most of those people are gone. Wake up.
Time for Tribal.
Jeff does his usual fanning of the flames, but we really don’t learn anything new or exciting, other than a spot-on quote from Brett: “Having nothing to lose is a different mindset.” These other people don’t know anything about that.
Votes are cast, and Jaison goes home.
Next morning, Russell approaches Brett. Russell: “Think you can beat me?” Brett: “I’d rather be up against a strong player and lose than be up against weak players and win.” (Of course, this is all crap on Brett’s part, but he’s smart enough to stroke Russell’s ego.) Russell: “I can promise you, me and you in the top three.”
I’m 97% certain that Russell is just blowing smoke, but at the same time I can see Russell, with his arrogance and ego, wanting to have Brett in the end just so that what HE thinks is a definite victory will be even sweeter. But come on. With the Galu-heavy jury, all of them shafted by Russell, they’re going to hand Brett the win, hands down.
Russell in a sidebar: “I gotta save myself”, meaning his attempt at an alliance with Brett. “But if I win the next Immunity, I’ve got the million dollars.”
Then it’s time for the “Tribute March”, where the remaining four traipse around the island and reflect on the tribe members who have gone before them. Everyone is generally nice with their comments, except Russell. He can’t help but gloat over how he was responsible for most of the evictions.
The arrogance of this man never ceases to amaze me. What kind of parents did he have? I can’t imagine any parent with any degree of morals being proud of what he has done.
But to be fair, let’s stop for a second. I understand that in the past several weeks, Russell has a growing fan base out there in America. (Yes, I have access to the Internet and can read.) But to me, that fan base for Russell is not so much a validation of Russell, but more a reflection on how some people in our society think it’s okay to lie, cheat and steal your way to the top. Decency no longer has the value it once had.
Yes, everyone on Survivor has to lie at some critical point. That’s the nature of the game. But to this extent? With this much viciousness?
And I would actually be okay with Russell if, during his sidebars, he would wink and let us all know that he’s just doing what he does to win the game. I would seriously cheer him on. But instead he gloats and belittles everyone, and he actually despises women as inferior. You cannot paint that any other way. He truly believes that he is the greatest thing this world has ever seen. His ego is so immense I’m surprised that small planets aren’t sucked in by the gravitational pull.
I can’t support someone like that. Survivor has had it’s share of manipulative winners. It’s also had it’s share of decent winners who played with integrity, and those winners usually get a landslide vote, which gives me some small hope that society as a whole hasn’t completely lost its mind.
End of soapbox.
Time for the Immunity Challenge.
And I really don’t care for this one.
Basically, you have this little statue which you perch on a small platform on the end of a stick and you have to hold it up in the air with a steady hand so the statue doesn’t plummet to the ground. Every two minutes, you add another section of stick, raising the statue higher and making it more unsteady.
This is not what I call a final Immunity Challenge. This is a challenge you play to win a tarp, not a seat in the final three. The final challenge should be much harder, and should be all about endurance and stamina, not waving a stick in the air until your doll falls over.
Anyway, they get started, and it quickly comes down to Russell and Brett. In the end, Russell wins. The whole thing took maybe 10 minutes. As Jeff points out, this is the only time that Russell has won an Immunity Challenge. Smart-ass Russell: “This is the only time that I wanted it.” Yeah, right.
Russell in a sidebar: “I just won the game.”
Brett in a sidebar: “The only thing I have to fall back on is the deal with Russell.” Oh, you can fall back on it if you want, but I wouldn’t count on anyone being there to actually catch you.
Back at camp, Russell is incredibly cocky with Mick and Natalie. He really thinks he’s already won. Then he runs off to have a conversation with Brett, and then spends the rest of his time avoiding his supposed Foa Foa teammates, pretending to work around camp.
Mick goes to Natalie: “Is there some funny business going on?” Natalie: “Mick, you’re fine.” Mick: “Why is Russell getting firewood? Russell never gets firewood, Russell never works.” Paranoia is alive and well.
Russell continues negotiating with Brett. Russell: “Mick and Natalie are voting for you. If I vote Mick, and you vote Mick, then it’s a tie and we go to the fire competition.”
Okay, wait. How are we back to the fire competition when it’s a tie? What happened to the colored-rock thing we almost had to do earlier in the season, when John cracked at the last minute and flipped? A little confused, but carry on.
Russell in a sidebar: “I might get jury votes if I keep the strongest to the end.” (Or, Russell, they might just laugh at you for dragging along someone that they would happily vote for over you.)
Time for Tribal.
At first, Jeff seems to be pandering to Russell with his questions, so of course that quickly gets on my nerves. Then I realize that Jeff is being sly and subtly setting Russell up.
Jeff’s questions actually prod Russell into babbling about how he’s seriously thinking about taking Brett with him. Mick and Natalie are immediately discounting this, saying Russell is not seriously thinking that at all.
Jeff: “Are you trying to convince Russell or yourselves?”
Jeff to Brett: “Is Russell just doing this for the jury?”
Brett: “It’s a smart move if he is.”
Then they vote, and Brett goes home, 3 to 1.
So Russell is not The Man that he was gloating about, willing to take a strong player to the end. All bluff, and no play.
The next day at camp, they get to enjoy their fancy final breakfast. While this is going on, Russell actually starts to coach Natalie on how she should respond to the jury questions. I’m not sure why he’s doing that, because it appears that he is giving good advice, and why would Russell help anybody out? Did the sugar and cholesterol rush from the fancy meal cause some type of hormonal imbalance? Funny things can happen when you go from rice and dirt to grilled sausages.
Mick in a sidebar: “Russell needs to be reminded he wouldn’t be here without us.”
Then the old Russell is back, and he starts degrading Mick and Natalie, trashing them left and right. Then he goes off on a gloating binge about how wonderful he is. He actually starts yelling out the people on the jury who are going to vote for him and how he is going to win it all.
I’m so sick of him by this point that I almost don’t care WHO wins, I just want the season to be over so I don’t have to hear this little man talk about himself anymore.
Then they burn down the camp and head to Tribal.
Natalie, Mick and Russell all give their opening “save me” speech. None of them says anything particularly stirring, but at least Mick and Natalie are TRYING to show how they deserve to be here and are not just rolling over with their butts in the air.
Then the jury gets to ask their questions. Here’s a quick run-through, in order of appearance:
Jaison - He forces them to all fess up to what they do for a living in their real lives, with the point that none of them really need the money, so THAT should not be a deciding factor in the vote.
Shambo - Totally slams Mick and Natalie, saving all her hairy love for Russell. (In fact, during the entire tribal, she gazes at Russell with lust-filled eyes, clearly intent on having his baby at the first opportunity.)
Brett - The guy goes way left. His only question is what would Mick do with him if they went out on a “bro date”. I think he might have been trying to make the point that Mick didn’t take the time to get to know him, but it just comes off as weird.
Kelly - She goes after Russell and Natalie, with a particular emphasis on Nat, clawing away at her. I don’t really get this. Kelly went home because of Russell using his idol, not anything that Natalie did.
Monica - “I wanna see the fight in Mick and Natalie.” Prove to me that you should win this thing. Mick and Natalie perk up, and try doing just that. In the back of my mind, a tiny sensation hatches that maybe this might not be the slam-dunk for Russell that most people think it’s going to be.
Dave - “What do you think your chances are? Give me a percentage.” Mick: “20-25”. Natalie: “30”. Russell: “55”.
Laura - Directly to Russell, “What did you learn about me that enabled you to get me out?” It’s a sly question, and Russell falls into the trap, unable to stop himself from spewing self-praise about how he could just throw out anybody he didn’t like.
John - “Hard sell me.” Convince me why it should be you. As the three offer reasons, it becomes clear that at least John understands the Natalie angle, that Russell would not have succeeded without her doing a big chunk of the subtle networking.
Last up is Erik, and he blows the roof off the joint, much to my surprise and complete satisfaction. He blasts Mick, rips apart Russell, and tells everybody they need to get over themselves if they think Natalie hasn’t worked just as hard as anyone to make it to the final.
It was a very eloquent, impassioned, insightful speech, hitting on the exact topics of morality and ethics that have had me worked up about how Russell didn’t deserve to win. I was floored, and thrilled.
Erik ended with this:
“In an environment, filled with arrogance (points to Russell), delusional entitlement (points to Mick), maybe the person who THINKS that she’s least deserving, is probably the most. You got my vote. I hope you get four more. Congratulations.”
Then they vote. Jeff grabs the little urn and marches off into the jungle…
And magically appears “live” on a California sound stage like he always does, transitioning into the Reunion Special.
He gets right to the results.
Two people voted for Russell. (I’m guessing this was Shambo and her hair.)
And everybody else voted for Natalie.
To be honest, the look on Russell’s face when he realized that he did NOT win made the entire season worth it. As he had plowed along in episode after episode, maliciously destroying everyone around him and gaining a fan base on the Internet, I had accepted the grim realization that he would probably win. It was his to lose.
Immediately after the vote was revealed, the Internet was abuzz with people either pissed off that Russell didn’t win or ecstatic that this total jerk did not get the money. A huge debate on whether or not it’s okay to be an arrogant, back-stabbing predator in the world of Survivor, an artificial world that most of us will never experience. It’s just a game, after all.
I see both sides, I really do. But in this supposed “modern age”, if you want to call it that, where decency is tossed aside much more often that it should be, where so many people have become jaded and hard that they would actually root for an arrogant bastard that hates women, something has gone terribly wrong.
Call me old-fashioned. Call me naïve. Call me whatever you want.
I just don’t think it’s right to reward a man like Russell. That’s not a legacy we should embrace.
End of soapbox, Part Two.
Peace.
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