It's not Lafayette's body in the car! Yay!
But it IS that pseudo-voodoo priestess woman-thang with the trashy trailer in the middle of nowhere. The one who scammed Tara and, more easily, Tara's momma, what with the fake exorcisms and the grunting and yelling and sweating. THAT woman. She dead. Mmm hmm.
And whoever did it ripped her heart out, literally. Cause this is "True Blood" and it's just not interesting if you pass peacefully during the night with a smile on your face.
Tara has to tell her momma that not only is witchdoctor woman not available for future appointments, but the whole jumping around in the swamp and seeing visions was not real, it was just drugs. Momma does not take kindly to that, and blames Tara for all of it, because that's the relationship pattern they have. Momma do bad, but daughter gets slapped and then has to clean up after Momma. Rinse and repeat.
Just as Momma is taking it out on Tara, Maryann arrives and intervenes, and she reads nasty momma up one side, down the other, and back up for more. It was great, of couse we had to pause and rewind. Then Maryann whisks Tara off to her limousine and away they go. She MY girl now.
We get some flashback scenes with Sam as a baby pup, practicing his shape-shifting skills by breaking into Maryann's house back in the day, stealing things. Maryann catches him, and there's a different kind of breaking in, sayin, with Maryann bronc-busting her way to a passion peak that makes her... almost shape-shift as well?... leave her body for another plane?... Not sure.
(Oh, and Sam was in his human form during the rodeo, just in case you were wondering, you pervert.)
Let's see. Jason is off finding Jesus, messin around with that Fellow-wimps of the Sun megachurch, or whatever it's called. They creepy, that there church, smiling widely and mechanically while they suck the money out of you. (Hey, is this a documentary?) For just 1,200 dollars they will send you to wimp scout training camp and get you all ready for a front row seat at the God concert. Cash only, no checks.
The sparkle in Jason's eyes dims a little. Cause he broke. Can't even pay the light bill right now. Buy he hasn't completely lost faith, and he races off. Hopefully to a different scene where it's necessary that he take off his clothes.
And lo and behold, Sookie and Jason's weird uncle has been mysteriously killed, and he left some money to Sookie. She don't want nuthin to do with that mess, and gives the check to Jason. Now he can go to daycare. Praise Jesus.
Poor Sookie. Always taking care of everybody else. On top of her undying love for the undead Bill, and all these people around her getting killed, and having to wear short shorts all the time, she now has to deal with Jessica, the teen vampire that Bill was forced to "turn" as punishment for pissing off Lord High Blonde Vamp God, the one with the stringy hair. (Hey, did we even see him this episode? Hmmm.)
Jessie girl got an attitude. She's whiny and doesn't like anything. And she has fresh new powers that she can't quite control yet. Great. After several scenes of immaturity and our growing dislike of the little brat, Bill finally gets heated and tells her she has GOT to settle down, because most vampires don't make it past the first year. (Promise?)
Then Sookie walks in and charms Jessica with girl talk and fashion tips and now they are besties. Then she asks Jessica to scurry off now so she and Bill can talk. And they do, and Sookie is tired of Bill not being honest with what's going on (the Jessica thing, the new revelation that BILL is the one who killed Sookie's uncle, getting dirt on her freshly-scrubbed kitchen floor, etc). Lots of emotion, tears, mood lighting and tight close-ups of faces tortured by emotional agony.
Then they rip their clothes off and have hawt undead sex. So apparently the relationship is working out.
And what of Lafayette? Well, seems he's chained up in the basement of an unidentifed vampire lair, along with some other folks that we're pretty sure vampires would not wish well. (One of the guys that burned down that house and killed some of their undead kind? Check.) So it's fairly certain that Laff has done something to make vampires unhappy with him, and I doubt it had anything to do with his cooking at the diner.
Whoops. Girl, you better get you a plan. Now.
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