Saturday, June 13, 2009

#4 - "Dallas" - Season 11, Episode 7

This is the one where Clayton has his big-ass heart attack at the Oil Baron's ball.

(Okay, for this purists, he has his SECOND heart attack, but we didn't get to actually SEE the first one, so it doesn't really count. People babbling about a past heart attack while sitting in a doctor's office is not the same as someone actually clutching their chest and hitting the deck. Sayin.)

But that happens at the end of the episode, leading to the traditional "freeze frame" at the end that they always did on this show. I don't like those freeze frames. I suppose at the time, everybody thought, "wow, that's cool and dramatic". Now, I just think "that looks all grainy and crappy on DVD".

Anyway, before Clayton rudely falls ill during the festivities, we have to catch up on various plot threads since the beginning of this season...

We have April, ex-wife of Jack Ewing, the one who finagled 200 million out of the Ewings, somewhat rightly so. I understand she was initially brought in as a scheming vixen thing, but I actually always liked the character. For some reason, they gave her a little more depth than some of the other characters. (Can you say "Mandy Winger"?) She disappeared for a while, but now she's back, in a number of ways.

They have April trying to bitch-slap Cliff back into reality about the "Dandy" thing. She's all up in the grill with Sue Ellen and the Nicholas Pearce character who is supposedly helping Sue Ellen get the "Valentine" operation back into a profitable arena. And April has some sidebar action with this Nicholas guy, wherein we learn that she doesn't trust him. Neither would I, what with the tremendous amount of hair that the actor Jack Scalia brings to the role. That 'do of his takes over the entire screen.

Marilee Stone is back, tramp with money, wallering around in bed with anybody that will look her way for longer than two seconds. Did you know that the actress who plays Marilee is named "Fern Fitzgerald"? Seriously. I mean, hey, the trollop looks good in a bathing suit, but did her agent talk to her about that name? Shoo. Anyway, with the help of J.R., Marilee/Fern is naughtily tangled up with....

Andrew Stevens, in his role as "Casey Denault". He's supposedly the son of some dead guy that did nasty things at J.R.'s behest in the past. (Who didn't, right?) Casey mainly stands around and says things to J.R. like "my daddy always said you were the best", so you know right off he's a total idiot and deserves having to sleep with the hoover that is Marilee.

Meanwhile, Ray Krebs and Jenna Wade are dancing around each other, with the possibility of marriage as the fence between them. These two have already had a session of afternoon delight in the horse barn (it's Texas, people), so we know the writers intend for them to be together. Why all this hem-hawing, with Jenna feigning troubled bewidlerment, Ray feigning confusion, and Jenna's daughter Charly feigning the ability to act.

And then we get to the Oil Baron's ball. With Jenna/Prisicilla wearing a purple sparkly ribbon in her hair the size of Detroit. Clayton runs up on the stage, announces that the Oilman of the Year is Punk Anderson (Um. We really haven't even seen that character for at least 3 seasons. What the hell?), clutches his chest, then plummets to the ground. J.R. grabs a handily available microphone and screams out that we need a doctor because Clayton has had a heart attack. Like he's medically qualified for this pronouncement. Sure.

Cut to shot of Miss Ellie clawing at her face in overwhelming anguish. Very dramatic and well-done. But the underlying motivation for Barbara Bel in this scene was NOT that her character was experiencing shock and grief, although it played that way. In reality, she was shedding tears of joy. Barbara was relieved that they had FINALLY gotten to the heart attack scene after countless foreshadowing episodes full of "something might be wrong with Clayton's health!". She was over it, we were over it, the Reagan Administration was over it.

Time to move on.

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