Okay, two things. First, I apologize for this delayed posting on last Thursdays's show. Terry was out of town, and we agreed that I would not watch this thing until he got back today. Being supportive of each other and all that crap. Second, once Terry was back in da house and we were sitting down to watch Thursdays' episode, he was jacking around with the remote and we suddenly got a clip of what happened at the end of Thursday's episode.
Great. Now we weren't going to experience the drama of wondering whether or not Jeff was going to use the Coup d'Etat, and HOW he was going to use it if he did. (I would suspect that mis-usage of a remote control is one of the primary reasons why couples go into counseling. Just sayin.)
Sucks.
Now, on with the show, with me pretending that I don't know the outcome.
Julie tells us that the vote to give Jeff the Coup d'Etat was overwhelmingly in his favor. Well good, then. Maybe there's hope for America yet.
Kevin in the Diary Room: "I didn't want to use the POV because I don't want more enemies in the house, and I want to ensure that Russell has the votes to go home." Girl, it's okay, I get it. You did what you thought was best for you.
Why do SO many of the house guests not understand that this is a game, and that maybe your bestie in the house might have to do something that doesn't fully satisfy you. People like:
Lydia in the Diary Room: Kevin's reasons are "totally bogus." First, people don't use that phrase any more, it's SO two decades ago. And second, wipe off the roadkill mascara and try to fully open your eyes for once. You can't depend on other people to save your delusional ass. Maybe YOU should do something to save your butt. That thought ever cross your mind?
Side note: Why is it that the Big Brother house is so filthy? This episode in particular had tons of shots of trashed bedrooms. There's crap everywhere: popcorn (??) all over the floor, piles of shoes and underwear, clothes just thrown wherever. People. You have nothing to do for 23 hours every day. Why can't you pick up after yourselves? Filthy pigs, all of ya.
Jessie in a convo with Lydia, worried about the Coup d'Etat: "I've lost in this game before." Yes, you have. You were sent home because people don't like you. You were brought back by the BB producers because people don't like you. Do you see a pattern here? Of course not, your ego is in the way.
Jeff: "I LOVE having this power." Good for him.
Natalie: Jessie and I decided to spend the day with Jeff and Jordan in case one of them has the Coup d'Etat. And yet you haven't had ANYthing to do with them up until now. That won't look suspicious at all. And the plan fails, with Natalie not being able to play badminton with Jeff, and Jessie wimping out in the pool with Jordan because "he's cold." Puh-leeze.
Russell tries playing Jessie -
Russ: You can't win without me.
Jess: You didn't pick me to play in the last POV.
Russ: I didn't know if I could trust you.
Jess: I don't know if I can trust YOU.
Dudes, just go off and bang each other, everyone's expecting you to do that, the sexual tension is so thick. No one will ask you about it in the morning. Seriously. It's 2009 and we have a democrat in the White House. (Can I get a hallelujah?)
Russell goes to Michelle, they are the only two people in the crazy swimming pool bedroom, and they are WHISPERING about strategy. (Did you catch the part about whispering?) Cut to Natalie in the next room. Jessie wanders up to her, and she practically breaks her neck getting his attention, saying Russell is in there lying to Michelle. "They were so loud it woke me up!" Bitch, please. Unless you had your nappy head shoved against the wall, you couldn't have heard a thing.
Jessie storms into the swimming pool bedroom, starts a big-ass fight with Russell, and keeps throwing comments at Michelle that she shouldn't trust Russell, because he called her crazy just a few days ago. Okay, yes, Russell did do that, but Jessie, this is a private conversation and it is NOT YOUR PLACE. You have no business in here.
Chima in the HOH Room: About Russell, "I will be dancing on his grave" and "If Jeff uses the Wizard Power, there WILL be drama." Of course there will, Chima. Because you are so far up your own ass that you can reach out your mouth and do a finger snap. Sayin.
In case it's not clear, I can't stand Chima. Word.
Then we get to meet Chima's family, mostly her grandma. It's a fluff piece, but Grams lets us know two things: She's not really happy about Chima and her loud, abrasive mouth, and that Chima's name should be pronounced "Chee-ma", but Chima changed it to "Shee-ma". Which means the skank has been altering reality to fit her own needs since she first learned her own name. Does THAT spell it out for ya?
So it's time for the Eviction Vote, and right at the wire, my man Jeff stands up to use his Coup d'Etat powers. (The shot of Jordan's jaw hitting the ground was priceless, girl could not even pretend to help herself, even Julie broke emotionless robot mode and had to comment on that.)
So Jeff pulls Lydia off the block and replaces her with Natalie. (Lydia, if you have any sense at all left in that head of yours, you will remember and honor this.)
Then Jeff pulls Russell of the block, and replaces him with Jessie. And Jessie promptly rips off his sweater to reveal a t-shirt proclaiming Jessie as "The Man, The Myth, The Legend". What in gay HELL is wrong with this man? HOW does someone get that proud of themself?
Jeff explains to the two that so far "you have run the house" and "it's time for you to feel what it's like on the block". Bless him.
Natalie in her "Save Me" speech: "I have been loyal" in this house. WHAT? Since your suction-cup lips have never left Jessie's butt, I don't see how you've even had TIME to think about being loyal, never mind actually doing it.
Jessie in his "Save Me" speech: He falls apart. He takes a weak swipe at Jeff, but it's pretty pointless. It was thrilling to see that when push comes to shove, Jessie ain't all that.
So everybody heads to the Diary Room, and Jessie is voted out.
During the goodbyes, the arrogant baby won't even hug Kevin. That's nice, real sportsmanship. I just hope the BB producers are proud of themselves for bringing back someone that most people hated, giving him a second chance that he didn't deserve, and letting decent people go home because they just want to jack the ratings. How fair is that, CBS?
Anyway, it's time for the HOH competition. Chima gets to compete because Jeff used the Coup d'Etat and she was thrown out of office. I have a problem with that, because the producers didn't say squat concerning this angle until the last minute. Just more proof that that this show is rigged from Day One to the Final Vote. Not being bitter, just laying it out there.
So we have the competition, one of those things where two houseguests have to answer a question. If they get it wrong, they gone. If they get it right, they get to pick the next two to answer a question.
Kevin wins the first round (eliminating Lydia, imagine that). When he's trying to select the next two players, Chima snaps her fingers and points at Russell and Jeff. (Can this tramp be any more demanding and delusional about her importance on this planet?) Amazingly, Kevin picks those two suggestions. So my estimation of Keving just went down a notch. Is he now Chima's bitch?)
In the end, that bit of business doesn't really matter. Michelle wins HOH.
And this is actually really good, and really fair. (And I'm sure the BB producers were really ticked off about it, because it's not what they expected and they lost a little bit of control.) Michelle is really in the middle, and who knows where this is going to go.
Then we realize the BB producers are trying to take back the direction of the game, when the voice-over announcer at the end of the episode lets us know that next Thursday will be a double eviction.
Sigh. Anyway, thrilled that Chima didn't win HOH. I want her gone. Now.
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