Hoo boy. Did we have some crazy up in the house tonight or what?
We already knew that "someone" was going to be pulled out of the house for breaking the rules. The announcer guy enticed us with that at the end of the last episode, and then he brought it up at the beginning of this one. But he also throws in "and a new HOH will be crowned" and I hit the brakes. WHAT? I knew right away we were in for a ride.
Michelle in the Diary Room on nominating Chima: "I actually like Chima." (Okay, you lose a few points for that admission. You're back on the iffy list.) ""But I wanna win."
Jordan in the Diary Room about Jessie's Girls: "They are whiners, they are rude, the list goes on and on." Gimme five, sister.
Scene with Chima talking to the other J-Girls (including Kevin), already whining that she wants to go home. (Because she's not getting her way, the little baby.) Kevin to Chima: "That's not fair to US." Which is a valid statement. You're a vote, girl. Walking out means you hurt the J-Girls, and more of them can go home. The problem with that argument is that Chima can't think of anyone but herself.
Chima to the J-Girls: "I'm not giving them the satisfaction of voting me out."
A bit later, Chima rips of her microphone, the deadly no-no in this game. We hear Big Brother tell her to please put it back on.
Okay, I know that in some respects I should just let the Chima thing go. But I can't help it. Because I like this show, but I want real players who respect the art of the game. Girl, WHY are you even on here? You should never have signed up for this if you can't take the heat of DESERVEDLY being nominated.
And while I'm fuming about that, we start seeing clips of all the OTHER times Chima has not done as told. Lot of shots of Chima refusing to wear her microphone, refusing to go to the Diary Room when requested, covering up the cameras with a blanket, on and on. Some of these clips go back to DAY 6.
Okay, Chima's bitchiness aside, the BB producers should have pulled her ass out of the house a LONG time ago. There are rules, people. You don't want to follow them, then you LEAVE the house. It's pretty simple to me. Once again, the producers have unfairly kept someone on the show just for ratings.
Back to current time, Chima joins the other J-Girls out in the courtyard to practice for an upcoming competition. Big Brother repeatedly asks Chima to put on her microphone. She cusses them and ignores them. Kevin runs to get her microphone and brings it to Natalie, Natalie brings it to Chima, and Chima throws it in the pool.
You have got to be kidding me.
Lydia in the Diary Room, totally stunned that Chima is pulling this crap.
Jeff in the Diary Room: "Her FRIENDS were telling her to stop it" and she wouldn't.
Natalie and Lydia fish the microphone out of the pool, but of course it's not working right by now. (And while they are fishing, Nat and Lyd are actually concocting a story that Chima "dropped" the microphone into the pool. Hello? There are 712 cameras on your ass AND your conversation. Can you seriously be that stupid?) Kevin runs to get a replacement. Chima does put that one on, but then starts cussing into the microphone and telling BB to "suck her ****". Real classy lady.
Then Big Brother is telling her to go to the Diary Room. She refuses.
BB Producer Allison Grodner gets on the intercom and tells Chima that she needs to go to the Diary Room right now.
Chima takes her time, but finally moseys to the Diary Room. Once inside, we hear what I assume is Allison tell her "No need to sit down. You're gonna go out this way", and Chima is shuffled off to the right.
Wow. Loved the slam at the end. We're done with you, bitch. Just keep moving.
Good. You wanna play that way, you don't deserve the money.
Kevin in the Diary Room: "The house is just on pause." We don't know what's going to happen.
Big Brother has the houseguests gather, and then Allison tells them that Chima clearly did not want to be in the house anymore, and that with the willful destruction of the microphone, she has been expelled.
Lydia: "Do we need to pack her things?"
Allison: "Yes. Those who were closest to her should do that, please."
Allison ends by saying that they will have an announcement about game play in the morning. Uh oh.
Kevin in the Diary Room, crying because he thought he should have done more. Girl. First, you did a lot more than you should have, Chima was out of control and needed to answer for her own actions. And second, why would you want to be associated with Chima in any way at this point?
Jordan sums it up precisely: "I lost respect for all of them for all of that." Amen, sister.
Then, amazingly, the three remaining J-Girls (Natalie, Lydia and Kevin) are packing up Chima's things, and Natalie has the astonishing nerve to blame MICHELLE for Chima having to leave the house. She rants on and on about this.
Then another shocker: Lydia, Queen of Delusion, briefly comes back to reality and refutes Natalie. She compares Chima to an alcoholic, that you can't change a person unless that person wants to change. This is a game, and Chima made a choice that cost her the game.
Wow. Am I getting a little bit of respect back for Lydia? We'll see.
But crazy Natalie continues to blame Michelle for everything.
Next morning, Michelle wanders out of the Diary Room with scripted words for the rest of the house. Her duties as HOH are over and her nominations are null. There will be a new HOH competition and Michelle cannot compete.
Okay, I am SO not right with that. Because CHIMA went off the deep end, Michelle has her rights as HOH taken away? No, sir. The BB producers are really on my nerves this season. Your own tapes show Chima being a problem all the way back to the first week. She should have been pulled before now. Chima should be the only one suffering for her actions, not Michelle.
And the shot of Natalie, grinning from ear to ear when she hears that Michelle can't compete in the new and unfair HOH? Can. Not. Stand. Her.
Amazingly, Michelle in the Diary Room: She's okay with it, the person she wanted out is out. But girl, you should have had the HOH luxuries for the full week, not a few days. You won fair and square. The right thing to do would be to let you put up another nominee and we go from there.
Kevin in the Diary Room: "This is a way to start fresh." No, honey. Your sister J-Girls are crazy and ate up with the dumbass. It's a downward spiral unless you get away from them.
Natalie in the Diary Room about the HOH Competition: "I have been running this house up until now and I really need to win." Yes, people. She said that. SHE has been running the house. Oh. My. GAWD.
So we get to the HOH competition, a putt-putt/golfing thing where you try to get the lowest score, the person with the highest score being eliminated each round.
Lydia is the first out. She promptly marches over and sucks down a mimosa. This can't be good. And she keeps sluggin them down.
Then Natalie drops. (Hallelujah.) Then Russell. (Not so good, but not so bad, he's still a wild card.) Then Kevin.
When Lydia realizes Kevin is out, the last hope for the J-Girls, she comes unwound and starts trashing Russell, Jordan, Jeff and Michelle. And we're not talking subtle little murmers to Natalie. She's yelling crap across the courtyard. (Uh, somebody wanna snatch those mimosas away from her?)
It's down to Jordan and Jeff. She's managed to hang on by some lucky putts, because she's really not that good. She does her final shot, and scores pretty high (meaning bad). Jeff then asks her if she really wants HOH. Yes, she does. She wants to hear from her family. So Jeff struts up to putt, and purposely knocks his ball out of bounds. Jordan wins HOH.
Russell in the Diary Room: "He's a standup guy. I really respected that."
Agreed. I want Jeff to win. Seriously. He's not the sharpest, can't spell, but he's a good guy.
But what does drunken Lydia do? She calls Jordan a fat whore. Very classy. My brief thought earlier that Lydia might be redeeming herself is in the toilet. She is just worthless trash.
But it doesn't stop there. Lydia goes completely off the rails and tears into everybody. The alcohol doesn't excuse it. She's just wrong on so many levels.
And Lydia goes even further. After the competition, she proceeds to dump out Michelle's beers in the sink. And then throws Michelle's food into the trash. Screaming and running around and telling everybody to evict her. Seriously, my words cannot even begin to describe how completely nutzo Lydia goes in the next several scenes.
What is in the freakin water in the BB house? Geez.
Jeff confronts Lydia, trying to get her back on this planet. "What's wrong with you?" and "Why not make this fun?" and "STOP yelling".
Lydia doesn't stop, cussing him, and demanding that he go with her to the Diary Room and end this right now. Jeff refuses, and Lydia starts screaming about how he's not man enough.
Jeff: "I'm not man enough to talk to a drunk person in the Diary Room?" Exactly. Got your back, bro.
Lydia stumbles off to the Diary Room on her own, where she promptly bursts into tears. Girl, you are a BAD drunk. I don't ever want to party with you. EVER. I don't care if you have a magical unicorn.
Then Jeff goes a little bit too far in sort of yelling at Natalie and Kevin that they need to get Lydia under control and talk some sense into her. It seems a little harsh, but what I think he's trying to say is, dudes, if you want to align yourself with THAT mess, why should I ever trust you. I get it.
But of course Natalie doesn't get it. She's twelve. She fake smiles and says you can't control a person like that, which is exactly what Lydia said to Natalie about Chima even though Natalie didn't buy it, just two seconds ago, but Natalie doesn't make the connection. Gawd she's stupid. Brief shot of Kevin not saying anything, because he's got to realize that he needs to step away from Lydia and Natalie, and step away NOW. Will he do it?
Time for everyone to see Jordan's HOH Room, and of course Lydia refuses to go. Jordan reads a letter from her Momma, which leads to her tears. We don't get all the details, but apparently Jordan had to sleep in the same bedroom with her Momma for years, they really don't have any money. All Jordan wants is to be able to buy a bigger house for her family.
And you have to pause at that, people. Everybody WANTS something, but so many people NEED something, desperately. Turns my stomach even more over waste-cases like Chima and Jessie who want it to be all about them. Call me a softie, but you should make sure your family has what they need, then you worry about yourself. End of soapbox.
Jordan on deciding about her nominations: "I want to protect Jeff and Michelle." No mention of Russell. Interesting. May not mean anything, just sayin.
We get to the actual Nomination Ceremony, and Jordan puts up Lydia and Natalie.
Jordan to Lydia: "You said you wanted to go. I'm giving you that chance."
Jordan to Natalie: "You're a strong player." Natalie: "And I plan to win POV."
Then we have Jordan in the Diary Room: Her actual target is Natalie, because she's a strong player. Don't really agree with that assessment, but I'll go with it.
Now, I just scrolled up for a review before I post, and I realized that I haven't provided as many laffs this time as some of you expect. My bad. But I think you might agree, this was one of the most intense psycho-drama episodes we have seen on Big Brother in a long time. Yes, Evel Dick stirred up a lot back in his day, but he planned all that. This was just crazy people doing crazy things all on their own.
So we'll end where we started.
Hoo boy.
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