Opening scene is just JR and Miss Ellie having breakfast at South Fork. JR makes some comment about how the breakfast table used to be packed with people back in the day. Then JR, probably realizing just as we do that the lack of diners is probably his fault, says something lame about how he's trying to work it out with Bobby. Miss Ellie: "I really don't care."
Well then.
Quick scene with Bobby talking to the lawyer (Paul?) who is handling the Lisa-wants-Christopher lawsuit. Lawyer: "Without Lisa, there's no trial." Of course, everyone in the viewing audience doesn't believe for a minute that Lisa has really left town.
Clayton is having a meal with Laurel. She's brought along lots of old newspapers showing that Clayton was "big news" in San Angelo back in the day. (How a bonsai pruner managed to get these yellowed papers is something we'll have to ponder another day.) Bottom line, Laurel stresses to Clayton that his life is not over
Nicholas at Sue Ellen's office. He and his hair apologize for the way he acted last night. Then he launches into some dirt he's got on the Westar thing, namely that Cliff bought a big chunk of stock. Sue Ellen: "Tell me about corporate take-overs." (Like she doesn't know, married to JR? Please.) Nick explains that the key here is a certain doctor who holds a buttload of stock, and he's Kimberly Cryder's father.
Bobby talking to Sam Culver, the "take back the Ewing name" is in full swing. It's an election year, so Bobby should look into making targeted campaign donations, but things look awfully rosy. (Again, WHY does Sam care?)
Scene with Cliff and Jackie, where Cliff carries on his tradition of being an ass to Jackie, but we do learn that Cliff is realizing JR is up to something with Westar.
Sue Ellen with John Ross, where Mommy pumps her glowing son for intel on JR. Great. (In some places, one would consider this child abuse, but this is Texas. Besides, we hate JR, so abuse away.) John Ross confirms that JR is indeed planning something big with Westar.
Quick scene with JR and Kimberly Cryder, where they are plotting an invented tryst between the two of them so that Sue Ellen can walk in on it.
Sue Ellen visits Bobby at his office. Sue Ellen: "We have a common enemy." (JR, obviously.) Sue Ellen: "It's over between JR and me." Bobby: Divorce? Sue Ellen: Hell no. "That's what he wants." Bobby: By the way, I think I might be able to get the Ewing Oil name back. Sue Ellen: "I'll do anything to keep JR from getting it."
Do you think she's bitter?
Phone-call scene between JR and April, where he is torturing her about telling Bobby that they spanked the monkey. Not sure why they're letting JR go so over the top with April. Are we setting up another "Who shot JR?" arc? Not sure.
Casey and Sly on another date. This time Sly has a massive hairdo that could be used to demolish old buildings, so it's hard to concentrate, but Sly is clearly getting loose-lipped about JR ("I've been made president of one of his companies"), so whatever Casey is aiming for, he's getting closer.
Quick scene with Cliff and Jordan Lee, with Cliff being a total ass ("You'll want me when Westar noses around") even though it appears that Jordan is trying to be supportive. Odd scene, only including it because it looks like the foundation for another plotline.
Bobby at April's apartment, with April gently edging in to how Bobby feels about second-hand slap and tickle. "Who's Holly Harwood?" April gets her answer pretty quickly. Bobby: "Anything that JR touches, he fouls." Ouch. How ya gonna spin this one, April?
Sue Ellen walks in on JR and Kimberly, fully aware that it's a setup. She acts properly outraged, and then storms out, barely hiding her grin.
Sue Ellen immediately goes to Nick's place, and spills about JR and Kimberly. Nicky immediately thinks divorce. "When you gonna file?" Sue Ellen just smiles one of her satisfied grins. Of course she's not going to file. Staying married means it will jack the Westar deal for JR. But it also means "I won't be rushing home anymore." Then Sue Ellen kisses Nick and all his hair.
Laurel arrives at some house, lugging one of her pedicured bonsais. The person who answers the door has an accent just like hers (OMG!) and she is clearly not impressed. As she races away, he throws out lines like "I still love you" and "We're still going to be married", indicating that Laurel the Leaf-Lopper has some pretty serious secrets.
Bobby arrives at South Fork to find snotty Charly waiting on the patio for him. She whines about Ray grounding her for kissing Randy. Bobby buys her lame story: "Get in the car and we'll go over there."
Um, didn't Charly totally and completely HATE Bobby a few episodes back? Just sayin.
JR and April, talking about the Bobby thing. April: "You are SCUM" and "I want out". JR: "You aren't getting out." April: "You can only push me so far." But she agrees to buy more Westar stock, so April gets a demotion on my fave Dallas characters spreadsheet.
Clayton and Laurel are again dining somewhere. Clay: "I'm going back into the refinery business." Laurel: "I just want to see you happy." Then Clayton offers to provide financial backing for Laura so she can grow her business. She tells him that's really sweet, but she wants to make it on her own, it's important to her. Then she gives him a chaste little kiss on the cheek.
Interestingly enough, Miss Ellie walks into that exact restaurant at that exact time and sees the kiss. There's only 4 billion restaurants in the DFW metroplex. So this is completely believable, right?
Bobby and Charly pull up at Ray's house. There is a discussion, and Charly is a total little witch. (Have I mentioned that I don't like the Charly character? Over it.) Bobby tries to explain that Charly thinks Ray is being too hard on her, but Ray is none too happy with Bobby. "Get the hell out. I want you to leave and don't come back."
That went well.
Quick scene with Miss Ellie and Clayton, with Ellie subtly prying into what Clayton has been up to lately, but she's so typically wishy-washy and indirect that she doesn't learn anything other than Clay is "not happy doin' nothin'." So Miss Ellie gets a pinched look and once again internalizes her suffering.
Scene with Jenna and Charly, with Jenna telling Charly that "going to Bobby was the wrong thing to do" and "You hurt Ray". There's some quibbling, but they finally get back to the warm relationship that we liked about Jenna and Charly back before she discovered boys. Let's see how long THIS lasts.
Then we have Bobby and Cliff bowling with Christopher at some local lanes. (We've never seen them do this before, but anway.) They're all having a swell time. Then the camera pans to Lisa hovering nearby, trying to look inconspicuous by wearing a glaring magenta hat, enormous sunglasses, and basically looking like Greta Garbo on acid.
Guess she didn't leave town after all, ya think?
Final scene with JR walking into his and Sue Ellen's bedroom, to find her and Tuh-RAY-zuh packing up Sue Ellen's things. At first, JR can barely suppress his glee, but he tries to play the role of philandering husband that messed up. (Sue Ellen: "You've always had a difficult time being faithful.")
Then she wallops him with the twist. "I'm not giving you a divorce." We'll stay married, but we're going to lead separate lives, in separate bedrooms. When he tries to protest, she spins around with a flourish and positions herself to deliver the stinging line:
"You don't have a choice. See you at breakfast."
LOVE her.
Seriously.
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