We start the show with Julie making an announcement that ALL THREE of the remaining house guests will make it to finale night even though the house guests don’t know it yet.
Um, what?
Kevin in the Diary Room: He wants to take Jordan to the end.
Jordan in the Diary Room: “I’m on my own now.” Have you talked to Kevin lately?
Natalie in the Diary Room: “I have a lot of hatred towards Michele.” And why in the world is that, Crazy Ass? Gawd you have issues, Natalie.
Cut to Part I of the HOH Competition still in progress, with Kevin, Jordan and Natalie struggling to stay on the giant log, completely drenched, worn out, and not looking very pretty. Natalie is spewing hateful things to Jordan, trying to break Jordan’s concentration. Jordan grits her teeth and gently dishes back: “You’re a little instigator.”
Then we have some LONG scenes of them trudging on the giant rolling log. There’s one moment when Natalie isn’t paying attention and comes this close to tumbling off the thing. I had to choke back a cheer as she managed to get things under control at the last minute.
Sadly, it’s Jordan that takes the first official tumble. (After stupidly taking Kevin’s evil advice to “wiggle around a little bit” to keep warm. And down she goes.) She wanders into the house.
Which leaves Kevin and Natalie to openly discuss what they are going to do. Turns out, the two of them had a deal that Natalie would throw the first competition. (We get a flashback scene that confirms the conversation.) But now Natalie doesn’t want to hold up her end of the deal.
Lots of arguing, and lots of Kevin swearing on everything that he will take Natalie to the end. (Quick Diary Room scene where Kevin states “My word means nothing in this game.”) After all the swearing, Natalie finally gives in and drops. Kevin has won the first round.
Julie gathers the house guests, and makes the announcement that no one is leaving the house tonight as originally planned. Round two WILL be played tonight, but Round 3 will not happen until finale night. We then have reaction shots of Natalie looking slightly pissed (she’s always mad about something), Jordan looking astonished (she wakes up that way), and Kevin doing his signature move of grabbing at his face and bugging his eyes.
Cut to Jeff arriving at the Jury House, where Lydia, Jessie and Russell are all pretty bad sports about Jeff’s eviction, rubbing it in his face. (Obviously, you don’t have to like anybody in the game, but you can at least be decent about it. This isn’t kindergarten. Or is it?) Lydia, of course, is the worst of the bunch. She is just one bitter, hateful girl.
But what’s this? Jeff finds out that the three of them are completely over Natalie and her lies, now that they’ve had time to drink and compare notes. Natalie does not have the friends she thinks (and we sort of thought) she does in the Jury House. Is the game turning?
Then Julie visits with 4 former house guests that made it to the final three during at least one of their seasons: Evel Dick, Danielle, Janie and Boogie. They are all basically in agreement that, at this point, Kevin should win the game, and that Kevin’s big lie about Russell is “the lie that changed the game”. Well finally, some validation. I was getting a bit of flack for constantly harping on Kevin about that very lie.
Anyway, it’s time for Part II of the Final HOH. It’s Natalie and Jordan, and they have to take balls with the names of HOH winners, roll them up an incline, and get the correct ball in the correct hole for the week that a house guest was HOH.
The house guests are kept separate, so they don’t immediately know how well the other one does. Natalie goes first, and gets a respectable 5 out of 10. Jordan walks out, and slams it home with 9 out of 10. (The live audience with Julie can’t help but wildly applaud, even though they are really supposed to just sit there and look clean-cut and American for the CBS viewing audience.)
When Julie announces the results, Natalie’s face immediately twists up into a pout, Kevin instinctively grabs HIS face, and Jordan is beaming from ear to ear.
And so am I.
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