Kevin in the Diary Room: "Jeff will be packing his bags!"
And there we have the theme for the whole night. Jeff's chances of surviving this situation are pretty slim. But we'll trudge though it, shall we? You never know in the Big Brother House.
Jeff in the Diary Room: "Michele and I tried to cut a deal, but Kevin's not listening." Of course he's not. He can't hear you over Natalie's incessant babbling.
Michele in the Diary Room: We'll just have to try working Natalie.
Natalie in the Diary Room: "All the blood is on Kevin's hands!" and "Jeff is my present to Jessie" in the jury house. YOUR present? How do you figure that, Gnat? What have YOU done to make this happen?
Jeff and Jordan, being sad again. Jordan: "I'm gonna be so BORED." Jeff is back to his sweet self, telling Jordan it was destiny that he be in this house and meet her. (Awww.) And he tells her to stick with Michelle. Jordan is still near tears: "You're the only one who played the game."
Jeff meets with Natalie and tries to work something out. Natalie makes it clear that she wants a sweeter deal before she even considers it. (And of course, I'm about to claw my face because this little worthless nothing has coasted along while everyone else has done all the work, but SHE wants a better deal?)
Meanwhile, Kevin is watching this discussion on the HOH monitor, and he's thinking out loud. He doesn't trust Natalie, knows she will dump him at some point. Okay, you've said this several times now, so why are you still Natalie's bitch?
Scene with Jeff and Jordan smooching, practicing different ways to perform their final kiss at the Eviction Ceremony.
Jeff meets with Michele. They need to come up something to offer Natalie. Michele suggests promising to throw the next HOH and let Natalie win, guaranteeing her safety. Which sounds dramatic, but there's a silver lining.
When it's down to 4 in the house, the winner of the POV actually controls the game. Scenario: They let Natalie win, and she obviously puts up Jeff and Michele. If either of them win POV, Natalie will have to put Kevin up, no other choice. Then the person that won POV simply votes Kevin out, because they are the single vote at eviction time. There's no chance of a tie and Gnat can't do a thing about it.
So Jeff offers this up to Natalie, promising that he and Michele will throw it so she can be HOH and completely safe. (He conveniently leaves out the bit where the POV is actually the HOH next week.) She does seem excited, but it's hard to tell with her because she gets excited about everything, including toothpaste.
Then we meet Michele's husband. No real surprises here. He's kind of geeky, she's kind of geeky. But he does confirm that Michele has memory problems, she really does forget conversations, no one's been able to figure out why. Which makes me feel a little bad about the times I've called her out for lying. Maybe she really DIDN'T remember saying what she said.
On the flip side, she's a SCIENTIST. Sure hope the girl isn't working with toxic chemicals, and then forgets what she's supposed to do with them. Or where she puts them. Just sayin.
Then Julie talks to the house guests in the little eviction area. She's especially interested in Kevin's thoughts on everybody leaving him bent over a box while they raced around and grabbed them some money rain.
First, he admits that normally he doesn't mind being handcuffed while bent over. (I assume that the CBS executives wet themselves on that one, but they let it air.) Kevin adds "but when money's fallin' somewhere that I'm not?", he's not really happy about that. Then we get a few seconds of the fish tank shot, so Kevin (or somebody) said something extra spicy.
Julie turns to Natalie, and we get to review her completely freaking out over the dragonfly in the courtyard. And yes, that really was funny (girl does NOT like insects of any kind), so everybody gets a chuckle out of it. But I still can't stand Natalie. (Thank you, dragonfly, for making her do back flips off the lawn chair.)
Then we check in on the Jury House, where Lydia is clearly still hot for Jessie, despite her telling the camera that she is SO not into him. The newly-evicted Russell walks in, Lydia spazzes out that it's not Jeff, and within 30 seconds (not kidding) Jessie rips his shirt off right in front of Russell for no apparent reason, basically knocking Lydia out of the way as he does so.
Okay, I know I've been snarky with the Jessie/Russell lovefest comments, but come ON. I'm thinking Kevin is not the only one who wants to be handcuffed while bent over a box. Get out of the closet, people. You don't have to hide anymore. You're so 2000 and late.
Kevin in the HOH Room. Julie: "How much do you trust Natalie?" Kevin: "She's my only ally. I had to do what I had to do."
Time for the "save me" speeches. Jordan is cute and country, as always. Jeff raises eyebrows by giving his speech directly to Natalie, spelling everything out about the guarantee of an HOH win and that Kevin is not the one she should align with right now. Wow.
But Natalie still votes to send Jeff home. And Michele votes to send Jordan home. Kevin has to decide. Totally expected. (But part of me wonders, was it wise for Jeff to be so bold right there in front of everybody? It may not have mattered, who knows with Natalie, but still, Jeff put Natalie in an uncomfortable spot and just might have lost the deal right there.)
Anyway, Kevin breaks the tie by voting Jeff out. Kevin is bitchy about it, and I'll give him a little slack because Jeff just slammed him, but there was also no need for Kevin to take a dig at Jordan as well.
Shout out to the Kevin fans: I know you love him. And he's certainly entertaining, I'll give you that. But he just rubs me the wrong way. Not sure what it is. But I do agree that he's at least playing the game. And of the 4 remaining house guests, only Michele has actually fought to stay alive. Natalie and Jordan (love her anway) are only still there because of the actions of others. So Kevin just might pull it off.
Jeff leaves the house, and Julie points out that he just got the first standing ovation. (And he deserves it.) Julie: "Why did you switch and align with Kevin and Natalie over Russell?" Jeff: "I couldn't trust Russell."
And this is where I have to irritate the Kevin fans by going back to the One Big Lie that Kevin made. Jeff only turned on Russell because of the flat-out lie Kevin told Jeff about what Russell was planning to do. I know I should let it go. But that lie completely changed the game.
So we get to the HOH Competition. One of those true/not true things about what booted house guests might have done after they left the show. Jordan is actually the leader through most of it, but the other two catch up near the end and we go to a tie-breaker. Natalie wins.
I fight the urge to just turn the TV off and never look back.
Natalie races around screaming "I stuck to my word and I won!". What word did you stick to, Natalie? Certainly not the one where you told Jeff he was completely safe. You can't be selective about sticking to your word, otherwise you're NOT sticking to your word. Get it? Perhaps you have Michele's memory disorder? Maybe the two of you can join a clinical trial and search for a cure.
Natalie also screams out, several times, that "this is for Chima!"
Right there, people. Right THERE is what's wrong with this country. Idiots who fully support other idiots who don't want to play by the rules and then are totally stunned when they have to pay the price for NOT playing by the rules. Chima was a bitch, Natalie. You wanna love and honor that?
Amazing.
So Julie closes the show, letting us know that there's going to be another Pandora's Box temptation that, if used, is bound to affect the game. Really? Well, right now I hope that it involves thousands of dragonlies being unleashed.
But I'm not bitter.
Well, not really.
Okay, yes I am.
And so it goes.
No comments:
Post a Comment