So, oldest daughter Grace is still full of not-quite-identified issues, screaming at Jackie "Why are you always working!". Jackie calmly explains to her that she is not always working. And then she races out the door on her way to work.
I would imagine that the writers have it in their minds for Grace to finally blow a gasket and do something really drastic for attention, like say something incredibly rude to a nun, or report her momma to Drug-Snatchers Anonymous. We'll see.
Anyway, Jackie is at work, and it's the night shift. Yay. And it's a first for awkward little Zoey, who has only experienced the benign "daytime stuff" like finding a severed ear. Twice. Well then, this should be fun.
The hospital administrator (and I can never remember her name after the show, it's something odd, sounds like a skin condition instead of a name) is being all gruff and hateful, yelling at a security guard to "go secure something!" instead of flirt with some intern we've never seen before. We know something bad will happen to her because she's just so unpleasant.
A young girl arrives with her very ill mother. Turns out this 10-year-old has been completely caring for her mother (she's 10!, did you catch that?) and obviously has a miserable life in doing so. This, of course, goes straight to Jackie's heart, so she takes the girl under her wing, battling the evil hospital administrator and forcing Dr. Cooper to quit being a condescending idiot and treat the girl like an adult.
And we also have a stroke patient who is unable to communicate, and his totally horrible family is standing around bitching and whining as if he can't hear any of their nastiness. After several scenes of this, Jackie has had enough and writes out notecards with various responses that he can select to show his family. He chooses two: "Shut the f*** up" and "Seriously". I rolled, had to rewind.
Meanwhile, Jackie balks at a proffered dinner invite from Dr. O'Hara, so O'Hara instead takes Zoey, telling Jackie "that's how easily you're replaced". Of course, at dinner, Zoey launches into some Pollyanna babble, and O'Hara has to cut her off. Change the subject or no more food. Zoey: "Dad's in prison for manslaughter". O'Hara: "Fabulous. Go!"
Thor is still stalking Momo, Momo doesn't care but we do get hints that Momo and current honey are not exactly smoking, the hospital administrator (really need to look up her name) yells at Momo for his ACTUAL smoking 'cause she's still angry about whatever, and Jackie steals a crateload of pills for the 10-year-old's momma 'cause their insurance sucks. Get all that?
Finally the comeuppance, as the Hotel Admin finds a stun gun lying around and manages to zap herself in an elevator. (Had to rewind that one, too, just sayin.) Jackie later finds the Admin hiding under a sheet on one of the emergency room beds, identifying her by the "Easy Spirit Career Collection" shoes poking out. There's tenative bonding, but the Admin's just not a nice person and things don't go well.
Jackie finally heads home. Daughter Grace has another meltdown involving a pencil. The 10-year-old with the sick momma calls, calmly upset that the meds Jackie told her to give her mother are causing an issue, momma can't feel her arms. Jackie talks her through giving momma half a percocet with some juice (and Jackie is consuming the same cocktail while dispensing this advice, nice). "She'll be fine," our heroine soothingly says.
Oh boy.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
#20 - "Dallas" - Season 11, Episode 16
So Kimberly gets JR on the horn and lets him know that hubby Wilson is now living at "The Club" (just what IS that, really?) and the divorce is coming. Your turn. JR gulps.
JR meets with his lawyer, sniffing out his divorce options concerning Sue Ellen. All JR wants is their son, John Ross. The lawyer's a real classy guy. "You gotta get Sue Ellen drinking again and you'll win!" Uh, let's not go there. We've had ten seasons of swilling already. Old and tired.
Sue Ellen saunters by Nicholas' pad, and it's clear that their respective loins are still burning for each other. During the foreplay chatter, we learn that Nicholas is hip to what JR is trying to do with the Westar takeover. Which means he read the script, right?
Bobby tracks down Lisa and semi-roughs her up. "Lady, I don't care anything about you!" Good move, Bobby. Smack her around and embarrass her in front of a chic restaurant with fashionably-dressed extras gasping and pointing. Smooth.
JR storms Cliff's headquarters and is his typically suave self. ("You sure have a tacky office.") JR wants Cliff to join him against Westar. Cliff balks. (Duh.) JR warns Cliff that he'll come running to JR for his help in the near future. Of course he will, JR, you finagled that Daisy sucking on a beer bottle takeover move in the last episode.
Ray talks to Charly about the implications of having sex with Brad Pitt in a barn. It's actually a decent chat, with Ray warning of AIDS (fairly progressive advice at the time) and how some boys get the milk and then head for the hills. Ray ALMOST has Charly's attention, but he pushes too far and she rushes off, presumably to pick the hay out of her hair and endlessly scribble "Charly luvs Randy" in her school notebook.
Cut to a "getting ready for bed" scene where JR, thinking he is being sly, tries to suggest to Sue Ellen that maybe things aren't working out between them. She sees right through his fumbly maneuvers, and gets to utter to-the-point lines like "What is this all about?" and "Do you want a divorce?" and "I don't want to leave you, at least not yet, but maybe I'll consider it in the future. I'm going to bed".
Love her.
Sue Ellen meets April in a restaurant. They slyly circle each other, and fess up. April says she's seeing Bobby. Sue Ellen hints about Nicholas, and wants to know why April is buying Westar stock. April disses about JR saying she should, that he wants friends on his side in the battle. Sue Ellen smiles, showing all 32 teeth, and gently cautions April that JR will cut her heart out with a rusty bottle cap if he can get ahead in some way.
Cliff finds out about JR's Daisy Duke routine with the old guy and the gas bubble blockage, and confronts him. JR shows HIS teeth and says he will sell Cliff the right-of-way that he so desperately needs, for nothing, as long as Cliff buys up mucho Westar stock and joins him in the showdown. Ciff stands there, frizzy hair and rumpled suit fighting to dominate the scene, and is forced to think about it.
He better not. That's all I'm sayin.
Kimberly forces her way into some Ladies-Who-Lunch benefit thing that is supposedly happening in Oak Cliff, TX but is more likely some place in California with dried-out rich people. She lets Sue Ellen know that hubby is gone and she is completely available for.. whatever might happen. Sue Ellen gets to utter the line "you're not unattractive in an obvious sort of way", but Sue Ellen is not in good spirits about this revelation.
JR meets with Nick and basically tells him Sue Ellen is up for the taking, please do so and I will continue my quest for oil domination and strategic marriages. Nick tells HIM that he and Sue Ellen might just get together, but on THEIR terms, not just because JR has given his blessing. Lots of strutting and posturing. Then some medical technicians arrive to measure testosterone levels and penis length.
Clayton is still flirting/stalking/whatever with Laurel, the girl from the painting that tends to fancy plants. They've had lunch and everything. He gives her the painting. She seems very appreciative, but then again she's British, so who knows. No idea what's going on here.
Final scene, Sue Ellen invades Nicholas' home just before his poker game, lust and hormones are in the air, he calls his buddy to cancel said game, and then they rip each others' clothes off, buttons flying, fabric tearing. I'm sure there were several gay costume designers weeping openly during the filming of this scene. I wept as well while watching the scene, but only because I'm still scared of Nick having hair bigger than my house...
JR meets with his lawyer, sniffing out his divorce options concerning Sue Ellen. All JR wants is their son, John Ross. The lawyer's a real classy guy. "You gotta get Sue Ellen drinking again and you'll win!" Uh, let's not go there. We've had ten seasons of swilling already. Old and tired.
Sue Ellen saunters by Nicholas' pad, and it's clear that their respective loins are still burning for each other. During the foreplay chatter, we learn that Nicholas is hip to what JR is trying to do with the Westar takeover. Which means he read the script, right?
Bobby tracks down Lisa and semi-roughs her up. "Lady, I don't care anything about you!" Good move, Bobby. Smack her around and embarrass her in front of a chic restaurant with fashionably-dressed extras gasping and pointing. Smooth.
JR storms Cliff's headquarters and is his typically suave self. ("You sure have a tacky office.") JR wants Cliff to join him against Westar. Cliff balks. (Duh.) JR warns Cliff that he'll come running to JR for his help in the near future. Of course he will, JR, you finagled that Daisy sucking on a beer bottle takeover move in the last episode.
Ray talks to Charly about the implications of having sex with Brad Pitt in a barn. It's actually a decent chat, with Ray warning of AIDS (fairly progressive advice at the time) and how some boys get the milk and then head for the hills. Ray ALMOST has Charly's attention, but he pushes too far and she rushes off, presumably to pick the hay out of her hair and endlessly scribble "Charly luvs Randy" in her school notebook.
Cut to a "getting ready for bed" scene where JR, thinking he is being sly, tries to suggest to Sue Ellen that maybe things aren't working out between them. She sees right through his fumbly maneuvers, and gets to utter to-the-point lines like "What is this all about?" and "Do you want a divorce?" and "I don't want to leave you, at least not yet, but maybe I'll consider it in the future. I'm going to bed".
Love her.
Sue Ellen meets April in a restaurant. They slyly circle each other, and fess up. April says she's seeing Bobby. Sue Ellen hints about Nicholas, and wants to know why April is buying Westar stock. April disses about JR saying she should, that he wants friends on his side in the battle. Sue Ellen smiles, showing all 32 teeth, and gently cautions April that JR will cut her heart out with a rusty bottle cap if he can get ahead in some way.
Cliff finds out about JR's Daisy Duke routine with the old guy and the gas bubble blockage, and confronts him. JR shows HIS teeth and says he will sell Cliff the right-of-way that he so desperately needs, for nothing, as long as Cliff buys up mucho Westar stock and joins him in the showdown. Ciff stands there, frizzy hair and rumpled suit fighting to dominate the scene, and is forced to think about it.
He better not. That's all I'm sayin.
Kimberly forces her way into some Ladies-Who-Lunch benefit thing that is supposedly happening in Oak Cliff, TX but is more likely some place in California with dried-out rich people. She lets Sue Ellen know that hubby is gone and she is completely available for.. whatever might happen. Sue Ellen gets to utter the line "you're not unattractive in an obvious sort of way", but Sue Ellen is not in good spirits about this revelation.
JR meets with Nick and basically tells him Sue Ellen is up for the taking, please do so and I will continue my quest for oil domination and strategic marriages. Nick tells HIM that he and Sue Ellen might just get together, but on THEIR terms, not just because JR has given his blessing. Lots of strutting and posturing. Then some medical technicians arrive to measure testosterone levels and penis length.
Clayton is still flirting/stalking/whatever with Laurel, the girl from the painting that tends to fancy plants. They've had lunch and everything. He gives her the painting. She seems very appreciative, but then again she's British, so who knows. No idea what's going on here.
Final scene, Sue Ellen invades Nicholas' home just before his poker game, lust and hormones are in the air, he calls his buddy to cancel said game, and then they rip each others' clothes off, buttons flying, fabric tearing. I'm sure there were several gay costume designers weeping openly during the filming of this scene. I wept as well while watching the scene, but only because I'm still scared of Nick having hair bigger than my house...
#19 - "Dallas" - Season 11, Episode 15
There's those damn Benihana doors again.
JR scheming against Casey comes to fruition, and Casey's little mini-cartel is ready to skin him alive. ("You have no money. You're dead in this town!") Casey claims this is far from over. Blech. Over this story line.
Lisa coddles up to Cliff, saying all the right things to him to make him believe they are both the outsider peas in a pod. So he eventually softens and Lisa gets the scoop that Cliff's big gas bubble is in trouble because some farmer won't sell his shack for right-of-way. Skanky Lisa with the irritating ponytail races off to fill JR in on the details.
Clayton is still obsessed with the odd painting of the wind-swept woman much younger than him. He gets the name of the model from the artist, tracks her down, and finds that she makes a living selling fancy trees in pots to people with too much money. She has a British accent. (Memory trigger: isn't there a Clayton connection with London? Hmmm.) Anyway, they seem to hit it off, with "Laurel" babbling about seeing lots of Clayton in the future
Bobby goes to visit Jenna and see (his) baby Lucas over at Ray's, so you know right off there will be heated discussion. Sure enough, Jenna basically fesses up that she's still hawt for the Bobster. So of course Bobby has to be all moral about it ("Ray deserves 100% of your love!"), and then races out of the house, claiming he's never coming back.
Blech, part two. Done with the Jenna thing. Love ya like a sister, Priscilla, but honey, you been hangin around this show WAY too many seasons now. Tell the writers you need something new to mope about.
Over at the Sue Ellen and Nick House of Possible Fatal Attraction, Nick tells Sue Ellen that he's done working with her, things are getting a little too steamy and he can't hang with it if JR is still around. Sue Ellen is stunned as he walks out, but her hair looks really good.
On the flip side, scheming JR tells the scheming Kimberly that he can't leave Sue Ellen until he sees a "sign of faith" from Kimberly. You know, like leaving your current husband so I can actually marry you like you want?
April, parading around her restaurant and being sultry, runs into that guy who thought he knew Nicholas as "Joey Lombardi". She swoops in. Tell me more, hot stuff. He dishes that there were mafia rumors. Oh? I would never have guessed that based on actor Jack Scalia's Goodfellas accent he's been trying out since he wandered on to the show.
Meanwhile, back at the Ray and Jenna ranch of lost dreams, Ray finds Charly and Randy getting sweaty in the horse barn. He gets all fired up, makes Charly cry, and slams Randy up agains the barn wall before chasing him off. (Yes, it did turn me on, just a little, sayin.)
Me thinks the Ray Ban was a bit hypocritical. After all, this is the same barn (same stall?) where Ray and Jenna broke in the saddle and decided to get married. Yes, Charly is barely out of a training bra, but come on. They're teenagers, it's Texas, and it's hot. Shut up, Ray.
Wilson Cryder, Aryan leader and apparently lame-duck husband of Kimberly, confronts Cliff, proposing to buy out Barnes-Wentworth so Westar can be king. They just don't want Cliff to come along with the package.
As you can imagine, there were no handshakes. So Wilson stomps off, claiming Cliff will "lose it all". Whatever.
Finally, we have JR angling to buy up the property that Cliff so desperately needs so he can vent his gas bubble. So he drags Sly out to the old timer's propitty. She's wearing Daisy Dukes, sucking on a beer bottle, and humping the porch rail. Apparently, it does the trick. Papers are signed, and Daisy and the Pimp hightail it out of there while the poor guy goes inside to get some cool drinks.
Game on.
JR scheming against Casey comes to fruition, and Casey's little mini-cartel is ready to skin him alive. ("You have no money. You're dead in this town!") Casey claims this is far from over. Blech. Over this story line.
Lisa coddles up to Cliff, saying all the right things to him to make him believe they are both the outsider peas in a pod. So he eventually softens and Lisa gets the scoop that Cliff's big gas bubble is in trouble because some farmer won't sell his shack for right-of-way. Skanky Lisa with the irritating ponytail races off to fill JR in on the details.
Clayton is still obsessed with the odd painting of the wind-swept woman much younger than him. He gets the name of the model from the artist, tracks her down, and finds that she makes a living selling fancy trees in pots to people with too much money. She has a British accent. (Memory trigger: isn't there a Clayton connection with London? Hmmm.) Anyway, they seem to hit it off, with "Laurel" babbling about seeing lots of Clayton in the future
Bobby goes to visit Jenna and see (his) baby Lucas over at Ray's, so you know right off there will be heated discussion. Sure enough, Jenna basically fesses up that she's still hawt for the Bobster. So of course Bobby has to be all moral about it ("Ray deserves 100% of your love!"), and then races out of the house, claiming he's never coming back.
Blech, part two. Done with the Jenna thing. Love ya like a sister, Priscilla, but honey, you been hangin around this show WAY too many seasons now. Tell the writers you need something new to mope about.
Over at the Sue Ellen and Nick House of Possible Fatal Attraction, Nick tells Sue Ellen that he's done working with her, things are getting a little too steamy and he can't hang with it if JR is still around. Sue Ellen is stunned as he walks out, but her hair looks really good.
On the flip side, scheming JR tells the scheming Kimberly that he can't leave Sue Ellen until he sees a "sign of faith" from Kimberly. You know, like leaving your current husband so I can actually marry you like you want?
April, parading around her restaurant and being sultry, runs into that guy who thought he knew Nicholas as "Joey Lombardi". She swoops in. Tell me more, hot stuff. He dishes that there were mafia rumors. Oh? I would never have guessed that based on actor Jack Scalia's Goodfellas accent he's been trying out since he wandered on to the show.
Meanwhile, back at the Ray and Jenna ranch of lost dreams, Ray finds Charly and Randy getting sweaty in the horse barn. He gets all fired up, makes Charly cry, and slams Randy up agains the barn wall before chasing him off. (Yes, it did turn me on, just a little, sayin.)
Me thinks the Ray Ban was a bit hypocritical. After all, this is the same barn (same stall?) where Ray and Jenna broke in the saddle and decided to get married. Yes, Charly is barely out of a training bra, but come on. They're teenagers, it's Texas, and it's hot. Shut up, Ray.
Wilson Cryder, Aryan leader and apparently lame-duck husband of Kimberly, confronts Cliff, proposing to buy out Barnes-Wentworth so Westar can be king. They just don't want Cliff to come along with the package.
As you can imagine, there were no handshakes. So Wilson stomps off, claiming Cliff will "lose it all". Whatever.
Finally, we have JR angling to buy up the property that Cliff so desperately needs so he can vent his gas bubble. So he drags Sly out to the old timer's propitty. She's wearing Daisy Dukes, sucking on a beer bottle, and humping the porch rail. Apparently, it does the trick. Papers are signed, and Daisy and the Pimp hightail it out of there while the poor guy goes inside to get some cool drinks.
Game on.
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