So Kimberly gets JR on the horn and lets him know that hubby Wilson is now living at "The Club" (just what IS that, really?) and the divorce is coming. Your turn. JR gulps.
JR meets with his lawyer, sniffing out his divorce options concerning Sue Ellen. All JR wants is their son, John Ross. The lawyer's a real classy guy. "You gotta get Sue Ellen drinking again and you'll win!" Uh, let's not go there. We've had ten seasons of swilling already. Old and tired.
Sue Ellen saunters by Nicholas' pad, and it's clear that their respective loins are still burning for each other. During the foreplay chatter, we learn that Nicholas is hip to what JR is trying to do with the Westar takeover. Which means he read the script, right?
Bobby tracks down Lisa and semi-roughs her up. "Lady, I don't care anything about you!" Good move, Bobby. Smack her around and embarrass her in front of a chic restaurant with fashionably-dressed extras gasping and pointing. Smooth.
JR storms Cliff's headquarters and is his typically suave self. ("You sure have a tacky office.") JR wants Cliff to join him against Westar. Cliff balks. (Duh.) JR warns Cliff that he'll come running to JR for his help in the near future. Of course he will, JR, you finagled that Daisy sucking on a beer bottle takeover move in the last episode.
Ray talks to Charly about the implications of having sex with Brad Pitt in a barn. It's actually a decent chat, with Ray warning of AIDS (fairly progressive advice at the time) and how some boys get the milk and then head for the hills. Ray ALMOST has Charly's attention, but he pushes too far and she rushes off, presumably to pick the hay out of her hair and endlessly scribble "Charly luvs Randy" in her school notebook.
Cut to a "getting ready for bed" scene where JR, thinking he is being sly, tries to suggest to Sue Ellen that maybe things aren't working out between them. She sees right through his fumbly maneuvers, and gets to utter to-the-point lines like "What is this all about?" and "Do you want a divorce?" and "I don't want to leave you, at least not yet, but maybe I'll consider it in the future. I'm going to bed".
Love her.
Sue Ellen meets April in a restaurant. They slyly circle each other, and fess up. April says she's seeing Bobby. Sue Ellen hints about Nicholas, and wants to know why April is buying Westar stock. April disses about JR saying she should, that he wants friends on his side in the battle. Sue Ellen smiles, showing all 32 teeth, and gently cautions April that JR will cut her heart out with a rusty bottle cap if he can get ahead in some way.
Cliff finds out about JR's Daisy Duke routine with the old guy and the gas bubble blockage, and confronts him. JR shows HIS teeth and says he will sell Cliff the right-of-way that he so desperately needs, for nothing, as long as Cliff buys up mucho Westar stock and joins him in the showdown. Ciff stands there, frizzy hair and rumpled suit fighting to dominate the scene, and is forced to think about it.
He better not. That's all I'm sayin.
Kimberly forces her way into some Ladies-Who-Lunch benefit thing that is supposedly happening in Oak Cliff, TX but is more likely some place in California with dried-out rich people. She lets Sue Ellen know that hubby is gone and she is completely available for.. whatever might happen. Sue Ellen gets to utter the line "you're not unattractive in an obvious sort of way", but Sue Ellen is not in good spirits about this revelation.
JR meets with Nick and basically tells him Sue Ellen is up for the taking, please do so and I will continue my quest for oil domination and strategic marriages. Nick tells HIM that he and Sue Ellen might just get together, but on THEIR terms, not just because JR has given his blessing. Lots of strutting and posturing. Then some medical technicians arrive to measure testosterone levels and penis length.
Clayton is still flirting/stalking/whatever with Laurel, the girl from the painting that tends to fancy plants. They've had lunch and everything. He gives her the painting. She seems very appreciative, but then again she's British, so who knows. No idea what's going on here.
Final scene, Sue Ellen invades Nicholas' home just before his poker game, lust and hormones are in the air, he calls his buddy to cancel said game, and then they rip each others' clothes off, buttons flying, fabric tearing. I'm sure there were several gay costume designers weeping openly during the filming of this scene. I wept as well while watching the scene, but only because I'm still scared of Nick having hair bigger than my house...
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