Final episode of the season, and here we go.
Opening scene, Tanya is lying on her couch, reading a book that is probably sad, when she notices a big fly on the coffee table. Then she notices more big flies on the wall. Lots of them. Kinda creepy, I'll give you that.
So, as anyone would do, she drives across town to Ray's tent, wakes him up, and babbles about how the flies signify "I'm dead meat" and that "I'm disappearing" and "Are you gonna disappear on me, too?" She clutches him frantically. Ray swears to Tanya that he is not leaving her.
And we immediately cut to Ray meeting with Lenore in a restaurant, where it becomes clear that even though Tanya has a few mis-firing neurons, her concerns have some basis. Lenore is pointing out all the rich women in the restaurant, and explaining how she can help Ray make a ton of money off of them.
Ray: "What about Tanya?" Lenore: "Cut her loose. Time to choose."
Quick scene with Ray working on his house, and he finds that bees have made honey in the walls. Hmm.
Ray runs into Coach Mike at school, and Mike has heard a rumor that he's on the list of people to be cut. Ray tells him not to worry about it. Ray sure has a lot of denial issues, just sayin.
Scene with new besties Lenore and Jessica getting massages. Lenore: "These guys really open you up", as the swarthy massage guys contort Anne Heche into a position no person could naturally do on their own. Then Lenore compares a vagina to a car battery that needs to be kept charged. This is WAY too much information for me.
Then Lenore has an inspiration about Jessica: "You need a sex therapist!" And instantly my mind conjures a certain potential scene. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Jessica is all demure about it: "I'm a fairly conservative person." Yet she's letting Guido get all personal while he checks her battery levels.
Cut to Ronnie, with one of his potential plastic surgery patients. Seems they know each other from way back in school. Seems she has a mole in a certain location that needs attention. Seems they are both quite inspired about that attention taking place. Damn, we sure seem to be getting a lot of close-ups of crotches in this episode.
Ray talks to one of the school administrators (Rhonda?), and it turns out that 70% of the school staff is being cut. Including Ray.
Then we have Ray, Darby, Damon and Powell at a movie theater, watching some really loud and gory horror movie. (Sort of like the parade of vaginas we've had in this episode, but different.) Damon to Ray: "Are you getting fired?" Ray: "I can do lots of things." Yes you can, Ray, but do you really want to share your "hobby" with your budding gay son? Just wondering.
Ray runs off to do something, and Powell takes the opportunity to nuzzle on Damon. Damon freaks a little bit. "We're in public." Powell storms off as well. "I'm being used." Such drama. Then we have a tender scene with Darby comforting Damon about Powell running for the hills. Very nice. But Damon dude, Powell seems like a lot of work. Plan B for your sexual coming out? Just a thought.
Scene with Lenore and Tanya, involving a lot of meaningless discussion about dog poo protocol. Lenore: "Happiness Consultants should be run by the three of us." Tanya: "Ray is MY prostitute!" Lenore: "The loser girl never gets the football player. Either share Ray or no Ray."
Lenore's a bitch. Thought I should clarify in case you haven't yet reached that conclusion.
Ray's at his house, working on it yet again, when the next-door-neighbor wife shows up. "I hear you have honey in your walls." Which quickly leads to them having screaming sex. Of course, mopey Tanya drives up during all of the action and is not pleased. "Who's client is THIS? Lenore's?" Then Tanya has a very convincing mental breakdown in the street in front of Ray's house. We don't see Honey Girl leave, but the assumption is that she scampered back home to lie some more to her nerdy husband.
Cut to Ray and Tanya eating hot dogs and trying to repair their crumbling relationship. Ray: "I'm gonna get laid off." Tanya: "Then we work twice as hard." Ray: "You've got a good soul, but I need a professional." Tanya: "Don't you wanna bring happiness into the world?" Ray: "Right now I'll settle for a living.
Cut to Ray in a fancy suit in a fancy hotel bar, with Lenore prepping him for a client that she has arranged. Lenore: "Welcome to the majors. She'll meet you upstairs."
She trottles off, and Ray catches a glimpse of his client, quickly recognizing her as Jessica. What to do?
He calls Jess on his cell phone while sneaking up the stairs toward their appointed room. (Dude, why didn't you just take another elevator?) On the phone, they have an extended, odd conversation, with her having no clue that he's the potential stud. He's trying to say something, but he's not sure what he wants. She's trying to understand, but she's not sure what SHE wants.
Jessica: "Ray, I gotta go, my mother's waiting." Ray: "Tell your mom I said hi." And he says this last bit while standing outside the door of the room where she's waiting for sex with a paid "consultant". He touches the door, then wanders off.
Quick scene with Ray back at this house, eating the honey from his walls.
Last scene, Tanya at home, reading a book ("Women Who Run with the Wolves"), which she suddenly uses to kill a fat fly on the coffee.
End credits.
Folks, not sure if I want another helping of this show. Tried really hard to get into it, and maybe I'm just missing some crucial insight. But it seems like there were a lot of potentially great ideas in the first few episodes, and then the writers and producers didn't know what to do after that. We'll see if they can lure me back for another season. Assuming that there is one.
Monday, October 5, 2009
#82 - "Hung" - Season 1, Episode 9
So we start out with Ray apparently teaching in front of a classroom, and I'm thinking, attendance at this school must really suck, since there are only about 4 students sprinkled throughout the room. Just as it hits me, wait, this must be detention of some kind, in walks Damon with another Goth Boy and they giggle their way to the back of the room.
Ray pauses, then asks Damon to step out into the hallway.
Turns out that Damon isn't really the one reporting for detention, he's just here with his buddy, Powell. Really? Ray questions this a bit, and it's fairly clear that Damon has a thing for Powell. Great. Something else for somewhat-Neanderthal Ray to process through his cortex.
At the office, Tanya tries to get Horny Patty to spill the beans on how her session went with Ray. At first, HP is reluctant to talk, then it comes out: Her fling with Ray was like doing cocaine, a really great time, but afterward you're broke and depressed. Tanya: What would make this work for you? HP: If he was like crack, same high, but cheaper and dirtier.
Well then.
Cut to Ray and Tanya, with Ray all a twitter about "my kid's a gay". Tanya tells him not to say it like that, say "my son's gay", no big deal. Then she tries to soften things with a little ditty about once when she had a crush on a girl, but Ray doesn't want to hear about her "lesbian past", like she banged everyone on the LPGA tour.
Tanya switches topics, we really need to think about cutting back our prices, people can't afford the stellar rates. Ray's not down with that, finding it offensive. (Like the whole concept of paying for nookie is not the least bit tawdry to begin with.) In the midst of all this, Pierce calls from Cuba (Cuba?), where he's off on some weird mission. No idea where they are going with that angle.
Scene with Darby and Damon climbing one of those fake indoor rock walls (because all the overweight Goth kids are doing that these days, right?). Darby's a little hurt. Why didn't you tell me about the gay thing? Turns out Damon hasn't actually had sex with Powell, but he's sure thinking about it. Darby: "Guy's are easier." Seriously.
Scene with Jessica and Ronnie, where Jessica is trying to show how she's cutting back on expenses because of all that "we lost a ton of money in the stock market" thing. He's still miffed that Jess and Meddling Mother went through his stuff. Then he suddenly has a mood swing, whips out a credit card, and tells Jessica to go buy herself something nice. He just wants her to be happy.
Okay, first, what's up with the bipolar action, and dude, you don't give a credit card to Anne Heche and tell her to buy something nice. She might come back with a spaceship and a passport.
Scenes with Tanya trying to recruit other co-workers to sample her sideline whoring business. She's not exactly a smashing success, especially when she uses her sales pitch on a clearly lesbian biker chick who is chain-smoking and looking at Tanya like she's lost her mind.
Tanya arrives for a meeting that Lenore has requested, and finds Lenore hauling around a new dog on a leash. Turns out that Lenore has named the dog "Horny Patty", so I'm thinking this is not going to be a pleasant social encounter for Tanya. And it's not. Lenore is none too happy that Tanya has been telling people that her stud service is actually owned by Lenore.
Lenore has also figured out that Ray is Tanya's only asset. She then demands another session with Ray (weak little Tanya: "but you stole his wallet... and his underwear... and..."), slaps some "cash up front" on the table, and then marches off, dragging Horny Patty behind her. "Send him over tonight."
Cut to Ray and Lenore, where she's taken him to some closed but fancy department store. She finds him a nice expensive suit, makes him put it on, then proceeds to explain to Ray all about "branding" and the fact that Tanya doesn't know what she's doing. She continues to ramble while they prepare for sex on a high-end couch in the home furnishings department.
Lenore is clearly moving in on Ray as a business commodity. Poor Tanya.
As they paw on the couch, Lenore tells Ray he needs to diversify, meaning a little lingual action down under. Ray wants more money to do THAT. She gives it to him, and he dives in, and apparently is a complete expert at it. Lenore TRIES to continue discussing her business plan, but within minutes has the most explosive orgasm known to mankind.
Tanya has a confrontation in the office bathroom with a very angry Horny Patty, who is livid that Tanya has been citing Patty as a "very satisfied customer". Patty slams her up against a wall and everything, it's very butch. After Patty storms out, Tanya discovers a meek little thing coming out of one of the stalls, and she seems interested in Tanya's wares. Oh?
As can only happen in a script, Lenore runs into Jessica trying to "buy herself something nice," but Jess is flipping through couture on a sale rack. Lenore is having none of that. Girl, you need some pricey things. Within minutes, they are best friends, with Lenore spouting away about how Jess deserves the finest things in life.
Tanya meets with the new client from the office bathroom, and asks for cash in advance. The client proffers 50 bucks. Tanya is thrown off by that. It's $600 per session. The lady waves the 50 bucks again. Okay, it's $500 per session. The lady waves the 50 bucks. Okay, it's 400 per session. The lady waves.... Well, you get the idea.
Cut to Jessica and Lenore at Jessica's house, ripping into all the nice things that Jessica has purchased. (Couture everywhere.) Ronnie walks in, has a bipolar swing, and wants to know the return policy. (Lenore: "All sales are final. My discount and all.") Ronnie huffs out of the room.
Lenore continues to work her magic on Jessica, reminding her that "she has the power", basically because she also has a vagina. Jessica seems very enthusiastic about this line of thinking.
Scene with Tanya and Ray, where Tanya is again trying to convince Ray that they need to lower their prices. Ray is even more displeased with the notion now. He tells Tanya that Lenore says that now is the time to RAISE prices. Way up, to like $1,500 a session. (Tanya: "You've been meeting with Lenore?") This discussion does not end happily.
Cut to later at the school, where Ray wanders in on Coach Mike sitting in the Music Room, playing on the piano and singing a blues song. (He's actually very good.) Mike: "The music department got the axe today. They are taking the heart out of our schools. They're after us."
Ray: We're fine. "Everybody loves sports." But his face doesn't say that.
As Ray leaves the school, he gets a call on his cell from Lenore.
End credits.
Ray pauses, then asks Damon to step out into the hallway.
Turns out that Damon isn't really the one reporting for detention, he's just here with his buddy, Powell. Really? Ray questions this a bit, and it's fairly clear that Damon has a thing for Powell. Great. Something else for somewhat-Neanderthal Ray to process through his cortex.
At the office, Tanya tries to get Horny Patty to spill the beans on how her session went with Ray. At first, HP is reluctant to talk, then it comes out: Her fling with Ray was like doing cocaine, a really great time, but afterward you're broke and depressed. Tanya: What would make this work for you? HP: If he was like crack, same high, but cheaper and dirtier.
Well then.
Cut to Ray and Tanya, with Ray all a twitter about "my kid's a gay". Tanya tells him not to say it like that, say "my son's gay", no big deal. Then she tries to soften things with a little ditty about once when she had a crush on a girl, but Ray doesn't want to hear about her "lesbian past", like she banged everyone on the LPGA tour.
Tanya switches topics, we really need to think about cutting back our prices, people can't afford the stellar rates. Ray's not down with that, finding it offensive. (Like the whole concept of paying for nookie is not the least bit tawdry to begin with.) In the midst of all this, Pierce calls from Cuba (Cuba?), where he's off on some weird mission. No idea where they are going with that angle.
Scene with Darby and Damon climbing one of those fake indoor rock walls (because all the overweight Goth kids are doing that these days, right?). Darby's a little hurt. Why didn't you tell me about the gay thing? Turns out Damon hasn't actually had sex with Powell, but he's sure thinking about it. Darby: "Guy's are easier." Seriously.
Scene with Jessica and Ronnie, where Jessica is trying to show how she's cutting back on expenses because of all that "we lost a ton of money in the stock market" thing. He's still miffed that Jess and Meddling Mother went through his stuff. Then he suddenly has a mood swing, whips out a credit card, and tells Jessica to go buy herself something nice. He just wants her to be happy.
Okay, first, what's up with the bipolar action, and dude, you don't give a credit card to Anne Heche and tell her to buy something nice. She might come back with a spaceship and a passport.
Scenes with Tanya trying to recruit other co-workers to sample her sideline whoring business. She's not exactly a smashing success, especially when she uses her sales pitch on a clearly lesbian biker chick who is chain-smoking and looking at Tanya like she's lost her mind.
Tanya arrives for a meeting that Lenore has requested, and finds Lenore hauling around a new dog on a leash. Turns out that Lenore has named the dog "Horny Patty", so I'm thinking this is not going to be a pleasant social encounter for Tanya. And it's not. Lenore is none too happy that Tanya has been telling people that her stud service is actually owned by Lenore.
Lenore has also figured out that Ray is Tanya's only asset. She then demands another session with Ray (weak little Tanya: "but you stole his wallet... and his underwear... and..."), slaps some "cash up front" on the table, and then marches off, dragging Horny Patty behind her. "Send him over tonight."
Cut to Ray and Lenore, where she's taken him to some closed but fancy department store. She finds him a nice expensive suit, makes him put it on, then proceeds to explain to Ray all about "branding" and the fact that Tanya doesn't know what she's doing. She continues to ramble while they prepare for sex on a high-end couch in the home furnishings department.
Lenore is clearly moving in on Ray as a business commodity. Poor Tanya.
As they paw on the couch, Lenore tells Ray he needs to diversify, meaning a little lingual action down under. Ray wants more money to do THAT. She gives it to him, and he dives in, and apparently is a complete expert at it. Lenore TRIES to continue discussing her business plan, but within minutes has the most explosive orgasm known to mankind.
Tanya has a confrontation in the office bathroom with a very angry Horny Patty, who is livid that Tanya has been citing Patty as a "very satisfied customer". Patty slams her up against a wall and everything, it's very butch. After Patty storms out, Tanya discovers a meek little thing coming out of one of the stalls, and she seems interested in Tanya's wares. Oh?
As can only happen in a script, Lenore runs into Jessica trying to "buy herself something nice," but Jess is flipping through couture on a sale rack. Lenore is having none of that. Girl, you need some pricey things. Within minutes, they are best friends, with Lenore spouting away about how Jess deserves the finest things in life.
Tanya meets with the new client from the office bathroom, and asks for cash in advance. The client proffers 50 bucks. Tanya is thrown off by that. It's $600 per session. The lady waves the 50 bucks again. Okay, it's $500 per session. The lady waves the 50 bucks. Okay, it's 400 per session. The lady waves.... Well, you get the idea.
Cut to Jessica and Lenore at Jessica's house, ripping into all the nice things that Jessica has purchased. (Couture everywhere.) Ronnie walks in, has a bipolar swing, and wants to know the return policy. (Lenore: "All sales are final. My discount and all.") Ronnie huffs out of the room.
Lenore continues to work her magic on Jessica, reminding her that "she has the power", basically because she also has a vagina. Jessica seems very enthusiastic about this line of thinking.
Scene with Tanya and Ray, where Tanya is again trying to convince Ray that they need to lower their prices. Ray is even more displeased with the notion now. He tells Tanya that Lenore says that now is the time to RAISE prices. Way up, to like $1,500 a session. (Tanya: "You've been meeting with Lenore?") This discussion does not end happily.
Cut to later at the school, where Ray wanders in on Coach Mike sitting in the Music Room, playing on the piano and singing a blues song. (He's actually very good.) Mike: "The music department got the axe today. They are taking the heart out of our schools. They're after us."
Ray: We're fine. "Everybody loves sports." But his face doesn't say that.
As Ray leaves the school, he gets a call on his cell from Lenore.
End credits.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
#81 - "Survivor: Samoa" - Episode 3
We start off in the Foa Foa tribe, with Jaison and Mick chatting. Jaison: "I want Ben out. Ben's a mental plague." (Um, just like Betsy was trying to tell you? Hello?)
Scene with Russell trying to work Natalie. Russ: "Who do you want out next?" Natalie has no answer. Sidebar with Russell, babbling that nobody has a plan of action, these people can't even think. (Actually, Russell, did it cross your mind that maybe people are going to be a bit more tight-lipped, since they've seen that with the last two people who actually spoke honestly to you, you're railroaded them out of the game. Just sayin.)
Opening credits roll. We're still seeing shots of people that we don't know or recognize, presumably from the Galu tribe. Maybe some day we'll get to meet them.
Back go Foa Foa, where Ben is once again bitching about the pansies on his tribe. "Without my help these people will die." Dude, no one has ever died on Survivor. You see all those hundreds of production people standing around, and the Medical team? Get a grip.
Sidebar with Russell: "As long as Ben keeps it up, his ass in on the line."
Then we zip over to Galu. The happy place.
Four of the Galu people are sprawled out on the ground, doing yoga. Breathing in, breathing out. You'd think they were at a day spa in the Sonoma Valley.
Shambo, of course, is completely unimpressed with this development. We've got to gather wood! We've got to build a fire! Just a thought, Shambo: With all that hair of yours, let's just light YOU on fire. It'll burn for days and astronauts can see it from the Space Station.
And really, Galu keeps winning challenges, so maybe that Yoga thing is helping more than you think. It helps to relax here and there, instead of constantly tromping through the woods in ugly outfits.
Back to Foa Foa, where Russell is explaing to Ben that "Ashley is gunning for you". Which is a half-truth, because really everybody is gunning for Ben. But Russell's using his little mind games to stir up Ben.
Russell in a sidebar: "I need Ben right now, gotta take out those who are going after him."
So Ben confronts Ashley, he's all mad that "somebody" told him that Ashley is the one that started this whole mess about getting Ben out. Ashley wants to know who this "somebody" is. Ben immediately blurts out: "It wasn't Russell!"
Which should be clear to Ashley that it WAS Russell.
Ashley scampers over to Natalie, to dish about what Ben just said. They both know that Ashley didn't exactly lead a crusade to assassinate Ben, everybody was bitching about him. Who could it be? Who is making stuff up?
Uh, ladies, let's just say that the culprit's name rhymes with: Russell. It's great that more tribe members on Foa Foa are realizing they are being played, but it's a little sad that the focus right now is on Ben (can't stand him, don't get me wrong) when the real villain here is Russell.
Zip back over to Galu, where they have tree mail. It's a bag full of swimsuits. All of the girls (except for whiny Shambo and her mullett) are ecstatic about this surprise. These people are really enjoying even the smallest things. I guess that yoga is really working out.
Time for the combined Immunity and Reward Challenge. It's one of those things where people swim out to retrieve big-ass crates, lug them to shore, and then build a tower following certain guidelines.
Interestingly enough, Russell sits out for Foa Foa. This is a physical challenge and they need strong players. Is Russell really THAT lazy? Oh that's right, he is.
The challenge is a long one, going on forever. The only interesting note during the actual gameplay is that Ben is the worst player for Foa Foa. He's supposed to be a defender, stopping the other team from getting to the crates, but they are racing past him like he's nothing more than a sea turtle.
And Galu wins. Again. (Yoga!)
Jeff tells the good Russell that as head of Galu, he has to make a few decisions. First, he can opt to take the Comfort award (pillows, towels, hammocks) or the Functional Award (serious fishing gear, a tarp, etc). Russell chooses the Comfort award. All the girls on his tribe squeal, except for Shambo, who has probably never squealed in her life. The men on the tribe are not happy, glaring at Russell like there won't be any dreadlocks in the morning.
Russell also has to send someone on his tribe to live with Foa Foa for a bit. He chooses Shambo. She grabs her pack and practically races to the other tribe.
So the Foa Foa tribe does their little defeat march back to camp, where Shambo, surprisingly, fits right in. She's got everybody impressed with her charm. Seriously, she's working these people like a really loose tooth. Didn't know she had it in her.
There are two exceptions to the Shambo-fest. Mick isn't really buying it, suspicious of her motives. And Russell is skulkling around with a pout on his face, because here's a "stupid girl" that he doesn't completely control. Most heart-warming shot of the whole episode.
Shambo is excited that she received two clues about the location of the hidden Immunity Idol just for coming to visit Foa Foa. Now, WE know that Russell has already found it, but it doesn't take Shambo long to find the hollowed-out tree where the idol must be. The tree that's right in the middle of camp.
So Shambo starts out slyly, digging at the base of the tree and pretending to find good fire-starting materials. She digs deeper, chatting with the girls at camp who have no clue what she's doing. Then Shambo gets serious, digging deeper, and we are presented with this lovely wide-screen shot of just Shambo's legs sticking out of the hollow tree, and the clueless girls babbling about how great Shambo is, even though at first glance it looks like Shambo is being swallowed whole by the tree.
Some people just don't have all burners going.
Other scenes at Foa Foa with Jaison really working the Ben angle. He seems most upset about Ben's racist comments. And he also seems to have Ashley and Natalie on his side.
Scene with Russell and Liz telling Mick that they want Ashley out, followed by a scene with just Mick and Russell, where Mick tells Russell that Jaison wants Ben out. (Stupid!) They eventually shake on a deal for Ashley to go first, then Ben.
Not really caring for Mick right now. And when you think about the fact that he's supposed to be the Foa Foa tribe leader, liking him even less.
Russell does show Mick the immunity idol that he has, still believing that the mere act of doing so somehow cements an everlasting bond with whoever he shows it to.
Sidebar with Russell, very impressed with himself about how he is working the game: "This is what God made me for."
Dude, I'm thinking God is nowhere near this equation. You're just a mean bastard with no morals whatsover. No offense. Kiss kiss.
Scene with Russell, Mick and Jaison. Russell: "We're going with Ashley." Jaison: "Why not Ben?" Russell and Mick try to convince Jaison with some crap about "girl power" that makes no sense. (Continuing to not like Mick.) Jaison is not hip with this at all, wants Ben GONE. "I'm making my peace at Tribal Council. It's gonna be a rough night."
Quick sidebar with Russell. Is he starting to waffle a little bit about keeping Ben? Hmm.
So we get to Tribal, and Jaison wastes no time going after Ben.
Ben makes it clear that he's voting for Ashley, indicating he thinks everybody else is too.
Then the two of them go at it for a bit.
Jeff asks Russell: "What's going on?"
Russell: "Ben might have said something racial."
Might?
And then Ben and Jaison are at it again, with Ben digging himself deeper and deeper and completely showing his ass, and Jaison at least remaining (for the most part) very well-spoken and thoughtful, although he honestly should have moved on to other things besides just the racial aspect of it. Still, Ben does not look good.
But is it enough? After all, Russell still has some very strong strings that he's pulling.
Jeff to Ben: "Anything you've said to Jaison that you regret?"
Ben: "Nope."
So we get to the vote.
And Ben overwhelmingly goes home.
Hallelujah. One jerk down, one (maybe two) to go.
Ben's exit interview remarks: "Everybody's gonna starve. Bunch of sissies."
Dude, just go back to Missouri. You're done.
Scene with Russell trying to work Natalie. Russ: "Who do you want out next?" Natalie has no answer. Sidebar with Russell, babbling that nobody has a plan of action, these people can't even think. (Actually, Russell, did it cross your mind that maybe people are going to be a bit more tight-lipped, since they've seen that with the last two people who actually spoke honestly to you, you're railroaded them out of the game. Just sayin.)
Opening credits roll. We're still seeing shots of people that we don't know or recognize, presumably from the Galu tribe. Maybe some day we'll get to meet them.
Back go Foa Foa, where Ben is once again bitching about the pansies on his tribe. "Without my help these people will die." Dude, no one has ever died on Survivor. You see all those hundreds of production people standing around, and the Medical team? Get a grip.
Sidebar with Russell: "As long as Ben keeps it up, his ass in on the line."
Then we zip over to Galu. The happy place.
Four of the Galu people are sprawled out on the ground, doing yoga. Breathing in, breathing out. You'd think they were at a day spa in the Sonoma Valley.
Shambo, of course, is completely unimpressed with this development. We've got to gather wood! We've got to build a fire! Just a thought, Shambo: With all that hair of yours, let's just light YOU on fire. It'll burn for days and astronauts can see it from the Space Station.
And really, Galu keeps winning challenges, so maybe that Yoga thing is helping more than you think. It helps to relax here and there, instead of constantly tromping through the woods in ugly outfits.
Back to Foa Foa, where Russell is explaing to Ben that "Ashley is gunning for you". Which is a half-truth, because really everybody is gunning for Ben. But Russell's using his little mind games to stir up Ben.
Russell in a sidebar: "I need Ben right now, gotta take out those who are going after him."
So Ben confronts Ashley, he's all mad that "somebody" told him that Ashley is the one that started this whole mess about getting Ben out. Ashley wants to know who this "somebody" is. Ben immediately blurts out: "It wasn't Russell!"
Which should be clear to Ashley that it WAS Russell.
Ashley scampers over to Natalie, to dish about what Ben just said. They both know that Ashley didn't exactly lead a crusade to assassinate Ben, everybody was bitching about him. Who could it be? Who is making stuff up?
Uh, ladies, let's just say that the culprit's name rhymes with: Russell. It's great that more tribe members on Foa Foa are realizing they are being played, but it's a little sad that the focus right now is on Ben (can't stand him, don't get me wrong) when the real villain here is Russell.
Zip back over to Galu, where they have tree mail. It's a bag full of swimsuits. All of the girls (except for whiny Shambo and her mullett) are ecstatic about this surprise. These people are really enjoying even the smallest things. I guess that yoga is really working out.
Time for the combined Immunity and Reward Challenge. It's one of those things where people swim out to retrieve big-ass crates, lug them to shore, and then build a tower following certain guidelines.
Interestingly enough, Russell sits out for Foa Foa. This is a physical challenge and they need strong players. Is Russell really THAT lazy? Oh that's right, he is.
The challenge is a long one, going on forever. The only interesting note during the actual gameplay is that Ben is the worst player for Foa Foa. He's supposed to be a defender, stopping the other team from getting to the crates, but they are racing past him like he's nothing more than a sea turtle.
And Galu wins. Again. (Yoga!)
Jeff tells the good Russell that as head of Galu, he has to make a few decisions. First, he can opt to take the Comfort award (pillows, towels, hammocks) or the Functional Award (serious fishing gear, a tarp, etc). Russell chooses the Comfort award. All the girls on his tribe squeal, except for Shambo, who has probably never squealed in her life. The men on the tribe are not happy, glaring at Russell like there won't be any dreadlocks in the morning.
Russell also has to send someone on his tribe to live with Foa Foa for a bit. He chooses Shambo. She grabs her pack and practically races to the other tribe.
So the Foa Foa tribe does their little defeat march back to camp, where Shambo, surprisingly, fits right in. She's got everybody impressed with her charm. Seriously, she's working these people like a really loose tooth. Didn't know she had it in her.
There are two exceptions to the Shambo-fest. Mick isn't really buying it, suspicious of her motives. And Russell is skulkling around with a pout on his face, because here's a "stupid girl" that he doesn't completely control. Most heart-warming shot of the whole episode.
Shambo is excited that she received two clues about the location of the hidden Immunity Idol just for coming to visit Foa Foa. Now, WE know that Russell has already found it, but it doesn't take Shambo long to find the hollowed-out tree where the idol must be. The tree that's right in the middle of camp.
So Shambo starts out slyly, digging at the base of the tree and pretending to find good fire-starting materials. She digs deeper, chatting with the girls at camp who have no clue what she's doing. Then Shambo gets serious, digging deeper, and we are presented with this lovely wide-screen shot of just Shambo's legs sticking out of the hollow tree, and the clueless girls babbling about how great Shambo is, even though at first glance it looks like Shambo is being swallowed whole by the tree.
Some people just don't have all burners going.
Other scenes at Foa Foa with Jaison really working the Ben angle. He seems most upset about Ben's racist comments. And he also seems to have Ashley and Natalie on his side.
Scene with Russell and Liz telling Mick that they want Ashley out, followed by a scene with just Mick and Russell, where Mick tells Russell that Jaison wants Ben out. (Stupid!) They eventually shake on a deal for Ashley to go first, then Ben.
Not really caring for Mick right now. And when you think about the fact that he's supposed to be the Foa Foa tribe leader, liking him even less.
Russell does show Mick the immunity idol that he has, still believing that the mere act of doing so somehow cements an everlasting bond with whoever he shows it to.
Sidebar with Russell, very impressed with himself about how he is working the game: "This is what God made me for."
Dude, I'm thinking God is nowhere near this equation. You're just a mean bastard with no morals whatsover. No offense. Kiss kiss.
Scene with Russell, Mick and Jaison. Russell: "We're going with Ashley." Jaison: "Why not Ben?" Russell and Mick try to convince Jaison with some crap about "girl power" that makes no sense. (Continuing to not like Mick.) Jaison is not hip with this at all, wants Ben GONE. "I'm making my peace at Tribal Council. It's gonna be a rough night."
Quick sidebar with Russell. Is he starting to waffle a little bit about keeping Ben? Hmm.
So we get to Tribal, and Jaison wastes no time going after Ben.
Ben makes it clear that he's voting for Ashley, indicating he thinks everybody else is too.
Then the two of them go at it for a bit.
Jeff asks Russell: "What's going on?"
Russell: "Ben might have said something racial."
Might?
And then Ben and Jaison are at it again, with Ben digging himself deeper and deeper and completely showing his ass, and Jaison at least remaining (for the most part) very well-spoken and thoughtful, although he honestly should have moved on to other things besides just the racial aspect of it. Still, Ben does not look good.
But is it enough? After all, Russell still has some very strong strings that he's pulling.
Jeff to Ben: "Anything you've said to Jaison that you regret?"
Ben: "Nope."
So we get to the vote.
And Ben overwhelmingly goes home.
Hallelujah. One jerk down, one (maybe two) to go.
Ben's exit interview remarks: "Everybody's gonna starve. Bunch of sissies."
Dude, just go back to Missouri. You're done.
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