So we start out with Ray apparently teaching in front of a classroom, and I'm thinking, attendance at this school must really suck, since there are only about 4 students sprinkled throughout the room. Just as it hits me, wait, this must be detention of some kind, in walks Damon with another Goth Boy and they giggle their way to the back of the room.
Ray pauses, then asks Damon to step out into the hallway.
Turns out that Damon isn't really the one reporting for detention, he's just here with his buddy, Powell. Really? Ray questions this a bit, and it's fairly clear that Damon has a thing for Powell. Great. Something else for somewhat-Neanderthal Ray to process through his cortex.
At the office, Tanya tries to get Horny Patty to spill the beans on how her session went with Ray. At first, HP is reluctant to talk, then it comes out: Her fling with Ray was like doing cocaine, a really great time, but afterward you're broke and depressed. Tanya: What would make this work for you? HP: If he was like crack, same high, but cheaper and dirtier.
Well then.
Cut to Ray and Tanya, with Ray all a twitter about "my kid's a gay". Tanya tells him not to say it like that, say "my son's gay", no big deal. Then she tries to soften things with a little ditty about once when she had a crush on a girl, but Ray doesn't want to hear about her "lesbian past", like she banged everyone on the LPGA tour.
Tanya switches topics, we really need to think about cutting back our prices, people can't afford the stellar rates. Ray's not down with that, finding it offensive. (Like the whole concept of paying for nookie is not the least bit tawdry to begin with.) In the midst of all this, Pierce calls from Cuba (Cuba?), where he's off on some weird mission. No idea where they are going with that angle.
Scene with Darby and Damon climbing one of those fake indoor rock walls (because all the overweight Goth kids are doing that these days, right?). Darby's a little hurt. Why didn't you tell me about the gay thing? Turns out Damon hasn't actually had sex with Powell, but he's sure thinking about it. Darby: "Guy's are easier." Seriously.
Scene with Jessica and Ronnie, where Jessica is trying to show how she's cutting back on expenses because of all that "we lost a ton of money in the stock market" thing. He's still miffed that Jess and Meddling Mother went through his stuff. Then he suddenly has a mood swing, whips out a credit card, and tells Jessica to go buy herself something nice. He just wants her to be happy.
Okay, first, what's up with the bipolar action, and dude, you don't give a credit card to Anne Heche and tell her to buy something nice. She might come back with a spaceship and a passport.
Scenes with Tanya trying to recruit other co-workers to sample her sideline whoring business. She's not exactly a smashing success, especially when she uses her sales pitch on a clearly lesbian biker chick who is chain-smoking and looking at Tanya like she's lost her mind.
Tanya arrives for a meeting that Lenore has requested, and finds Lenore hauling around a new dog on a leash. Turns out that Lenore has named the dog "Horny Patty", so I'm thinking this is not going to be a pleasant social encounter for Tanya. And it's not. Lenore is none too happy that Tanya has been telling people that her stud service is actually owned by Lenore.
Lenore has also figured out that Ray is Tanya's only asset. She then demands another session with Ray (weak little Tanya: "but you stole his wallet... and his underwear... and..."), slaps some "cash up front" on the table, and then marches off, dragging Horny Patty behind her. "Send him over tonight."
Cut to Ray and Lenore, where she's taken him to some closed but fancy department store. She finds him a nice expensive suit, makes him put it on, then proceeds to explain to Ray all about "branding" and the fact that Tanya doesn't know what she's doing. She continues to ramble while they prepare for sex on a high-end couch in the home furnishings department.
Lenore is clearly moving in on Ray as a business commodity. Poor Tanya.
As they paw on the couch, Lenore tells Ray he needs to diversify, meaning a little lingual action down under. Ray wants more money to do THAT. She gives it to him, and he dives in, and apparently is a complete expert at it. Lenore TRIES to continue discussing her business plan, but within minutes has the most explosive orgasm known to mankind.
Tanya has a confrontation in the office bathroom with a very angry Horny Patty, who is livid that Tanya has been citing Patty as a "very satisfied customer". Patty slams her up against a wall and everything, it's very butch. After Patty storms out, Tanya discovers a meek little thing coming out of one of the stalls, and she seems interested in Tanya's wares. Oh?
As can only happen in a script, Lenore runs into Jessica trying to "buy herself something nice," but Jess is flipping through couture on a sale rack. Lenore is having none of that. Girl, you need some pricey things. Within minutes, they are best friends, with Lenore spouting away about how Jess deserves the finest things in life.
Tanya meets with the new client from the office bathroom, and asks for cash in advance. The client proffers 50 bucks. Tanya is thrown off by that. It's $600 per session. The lady waves the 50 bucks again. Okay, it's $500 per session. The lady waves the 50 bucks. Okay, it's 400 per session. The lady waves.... Well, you get the idea.
Cut to Jessica and Lenore at Jessica's house, ripping into all the nice things that Jessica has purchased. (Couture everywhere.) Ronnie walks in, has a bipolar swing, and wants to know the return policy. (Lenore: "All sales are final. My discount and all.") Ronnie huffs out of the room.
Lenore continues to work her magic on Jessica, reminding her that "she has the power", basically because she also has a vagina. Jessica seems very enthusiastic about this line of thinking.
Scene with Tanya and Ray, where Tanya is again trying to convince Ray that they need to lower their prices. Ray is even more displeased with the notion now. He tells Tanya that Lenore says that now is the time to RAISE prices. Way up, to like $1,500 a session. (Tanya: "You've been meeting with Lenore?") This discussion does not end happily.
Cut to later at the school, where Ray wanders in on Coach Mike sitting in the Music Room, playing on the piano and singing a blues song. (He's actually very good.) Mike: "The music department got the axe today. They are taking the heart out of our schools. They're after us."
Ray: We're fine. "Everybody loves sports." But his face doesn't say that.
As Ray leaves the school, he gets a call on his cell from Lenore.
End credits.
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