Final episode of the season, and here we go.
Opening scene, Tanya is lying on her couch, reading a book that is probably sad, when she notices a big fly on the coffee table. Then she notices more big flies on the wall. Lots of them. Kinda creepy, I'll give you that.
So, as anyone would do, she drives across town to Ray's tent, wakes him up, and babbles about how the flies signify "I'm dead meat" and that "I'm disappearing" and "Are you gonna disappear on me, too?" She clutches him frantically. Ray swears to Tanya that he is not leaving her.
And we immediately cut to Ray meeting with Lenore in a restaurant, where it becomes clear that even though Tanya has a few mis-firing neurons, her concerns have some basis. Lenore is pointing out all the rich women in the restaurant, and explaining how she can help Ray make a ton of money off of them.
Ray: "What about Tanya?" Lenore: "Cut her loose. Time to choose."
Quick scene with Ray working on his house, and he finds that bees have made honey in the walls. Hmm.
Ray runs into Coach Mike at school, and Mike has heard a rumor that he's on the list of people to be cut. Ray tells him not to worry about it. Ray sure has a lot of denial issues, just sayin.
Scene with new besties Lenore and Jessica getting massages. Lenore: "These guys really open you up", as the swarthy massage guys contort Anne Heche into a position no person could naturally do on their own. Then Lenore compares a vagina to a car battery that needs to be kept charged. This is WAY too much information for me.
Then Lenore has an inspiration about Jessica: "You need a sex therapist!" And instantly my mind conjures a certain potential scene. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Jessica is all demure about it: "I'm a fairly conservative person." Yet she's letting Guido get all personal while he checks her battery levels.
Cut to Ronnie, with one of his potential plastic surgery patients. Seems they know each other from way back in school. Seems she has a mole in a certain location that needs attention. Seems they are both quite inspired about that attention taking place. Damn, we sure seem to be getting a lot of close-ups of crotches in this episode.
Ray talks to one of the school administrators (Rhonda?), and it turns out that 70% of the school staff is being cut. Including Ray.
Then we have Ray, Darby, Damon and Powell at a movie theater, watching some really loud and gory horror movie. (Sort of like the parade of vaginas we've had in this episode, but different.) Damon to Ray: "Are you getting fired?" Ray: "I can do lots of things." Yes you can, Ray, but do you really want to share your "hobby" with your budding gay son? Just wondering.
Ray runs off to do something, and Powell takes the opportunity to nuzzle on Damon. Damon freaks a little bit. "We're in public." Powell storms off as well. "I'm being used." Such drama. Then we have a tender scene with Darby comforting Damon about Powell running for the hills. Very nice. But Damon dude, Powell seems like a lot of work. Plan B for your sexual coming out? Just a thought.
Scene with Lenore and Tanya, involving a lot of meaningless discussion about dog poo protocol. Lenore: "Happiness Consultants should be run by the three of us." Tanya: "Ray is MY prostitute!" Lenore: "The loser girl never gets the football player. Either share Ray or no Ray."
Lenore's a bitch. Thought I should clarify in case you haven't yet reached that conclusion.
Ray's at his house, working on it yet again, when the next-door-neighbor wife shows up. "I hear you have honey in your walls." Which quickly leads to them having screaming sex. Of course, mopey Tanya drives up during all of the action and is not pleased. "Who's client is THIS? Lenore's?" Then Tanya has a very convincing mental breakdown in the street in front of Ray's house. We don't see Honey Girl leave, but the assumption is that she scampered back home to lie some more to her nerdy husband.
Cut to Ray and Tanya eating hot dogs and trying to repair their crumbling relationship. Ray: "I'm gonna get laid off." Tanya: "Then we work twice as hard." Ray: "You've got a good soul, but I need a professional." Tanya: "Don't you wanna bring happiness into the world?" Ray: "Right now I'll settle for a living.
Cut to Ray in a fancy suit in a fancy hotel bar, with Lenore prepping him for a client that she has arranged. Lenore: "Welcome to the majors. She'll meet you upstairs."
She trottles off, and Ray catches a glimpse of his client, quickly recognizing her as Jessica. What to do?
He calls Jess on his cell phone while sneaking up the stairs toward their appointed room. (Dude, why didn't you just take another elevator?) On the phone, they have an extended, odd conversation, with her having no clue that he's the potential stud. He's trying to say something, but he's not sure what he wants. She's trying to understand, but she's not sure what SHE wants.
Jessica: "Ray, I gotta go, my mother's waiting." Ray: "Tell your mom I said hi." And he says this last bit while standing outside the door of the room where she's waiting for sex with a paid "consultant". He touches the door, then wanders off.
Quick scene with Ray back at this house, eating the honey from his walls.
Last scene, Tanya at home, reading a book ("Women Who Run with the Wolves"), which she suddenly uses to kill a fat fly on the coffee.
End credits.
Folks, not sure if I want another helping of this show. Tried really hard to get into it, and maybe I'm just missing some crucial insight. But it seems like there were a lot of potentially great ideas in the first few episodes, and then the writers and producers didn't know what to do after that. We'll see if they can lure me back for another season. Assuming that there is one.
No comments:
Post a Comment