Jeff in the Diary Room: "Let's go to war!"
I'm sure he intends to do something to save himself, but really, Chima and Russell are long gone. There may be some fireworks, but we're talking sparklers here, not roman candles.
Natalie and Kevin hook up with Jeff in the pantry and tell him he's completely safe, it's all for show. But of course he's not safe. (Natalie in the Diary Room: "I have no problem with lying straight to his face" Natalie, you have no problem lying, period. How old did you tell everybody you are?)
Scenes of Michele and Jordan being really sad.
Scenes of Jeff and Jordan being really sad.
Then Kevin prances into his HOH Room, and lo and behold, there's a new door in one of the walls, with a big ole question mark on it. A handy card explains that if someone goes in the room, something good or bad could happen to them or the house.
Kevin pauses 2.5 seconds, then decides he's going in. ("I'm a greedy bitch!", then he does a cute little clap.) Inside, there's a big box machine thing with a place for Kevin to stick his little Asian hand. He does so, something grabs it, he screams, and suddenly dollar bills start pouring out of the sky in the courtyard.
Jordan in the Diary Room, babbling about how her daddy was always telling her that money don't grow on trees. "Dad, you're very wrong."
Conveniently, there's a monitor next to Kevin so he can see the courtyard, where Natalie, Jeff and Michele are whooping it up, racing around, grabbing bills, and shoving them into their panties and whatnot. Jeff opens the glass doors and yells for Jordan to get the hell out here, so now all the house guests are raking in the bucks while Kevin is straddling a box in the HOH Room.
The monitor then tells Kevin that there's a key hidden somewhere in the house that will free him. He starts yelling, but it takes a while for the scampering house guests in the courtyard to even think about Kevin.
Natalie finally goes looking, follows his hollering to the HOH Room, and Kevin tells her that she needs to find the key to set him free. Then Kevin watches on the monitor as Natalie goes right back to the courtyard and starts grabbing bills again. Bitch. (And you need to remember that, Kevin.)
Then Jeff decides something isn't right, and finds Kevin as well. This time Kevin lies (Kevin would lie? really? I know you're shocked) and tells Jeff that "the only way you can keep the money is find the key." So Jeff promptly marches downstairs, finds the key rather easily, throws it in his cash bucket, and marches back out side.
Kevin is not impressed seeing this on the monitor. But really, Kevster, all you said was "find the key to keep the money". You didn't say "find the key and then UNLOCK my ass and you can keep the money." You gotta be clear, girl, especially when you're dealing with Jeff.
Eventually Natalie and Jeff release Kevin, who manages to scrape up a few bucks before it's all gone. Then it's time for the Veto Competition.
It's another of those race-against-the-clock things where they morph two house guest faces and you have to figure the two out and hit a buzzer. As usual, some of the combos are pretty butt-ugly, and Natalie finally says something that I actually found funny: "I promise America that I will never have a child with Michele."
And Michelle wins! Great for her. Not so great for Jeff and Jordan, considering the dynamics in the house right now.
Then Jeff totally screws up. Everyone is running around congratulating Michele, because you are SUPPOSED to do this even if it's your worst enemy that just won. And Michele is actually the one that approaches Jeff, trying to say "sorry". And what does he do? Yells at her "Get away from me" and stomps off.
You stupid, childish idiot.
Never mind that it was totally uncalled for, very unfair, and just plain wrong. Jeff has now dissed Michele in front of everybody. And dude, you NEED her vote and her support. You think she's gonna give it to you NOW?
You should have sucked it up and played it cool. As my partner Terry yelled from the other couch, "You got GOT!" Yep. Jeff just tumbled on my ratings chart.
Amazingly, we then see Jeff in the Diary Room: "I'll take all the blame and not talk smack." Uh, little late for that, don't you think?
Natalie and Kevin, all hopped up and excited: "Jeff is GONE!"
But then Kevin in the Diary Room: Natalie "keeps saying she'll win HOH next week. Natalie hasn't won ANYTHING." We know this. Why are you still listening to her?
Michele and Jeff in the courtyard. Michele: "I'm gonna fight to keep you." Oh really? (Michele in the Diary Room: "I NEED him.") Michele tells Jeff he really needs to start campaigning. With the odds in the house, there's really only one option here. She doesn't say it, but Jeff does: "Jordan's gotta go?"
If you want to win, she does.
Luckily for Jeff's conscience (I'm assuming he still has one despite what he did to Michele), Jordan has a glass of wine and loosens up enough to tell Jeff: "I haven't done ANYTHING to be here. You can win if you stay."
There's your open door, bud.
Kevin and Michele, with Michele really pushing to keep Jeff, and slamming the prospects with Natalie. ("She has friends in the jury house." True dat.) Kevin: "I know Natalie will dispose of me" when she's ready. Michele: Keep Jeff, and he can get rid of Natalie for you. No blood.
That Michele gal is pretty dang smart, hoo boy.
So we get to the Veto Meeting. Naturally, Michele takes herself off. And Kevin puts up Jordan. No surprise.
Natalie gets all cocky in the Diary Room. She thinks she's won this thing already. Really. Can't. Stand. Her.
Final shot is Jordan in the Diary Room: "I want Jeff to stay here over me."
So, unless there's some major political maneuvering before Thursday's live eviction, here's how it's going to play out. Natalie will vote to evict Jeff. Michele will vote to evict Jordan. Which means Kevin has to break the tie.
Do we really think Kevin has the balls to risk the wrath of Natalie and send Jordan home instead? And to be fair, on the flip side, is it a smart move for Kevin to keep Jeff in the house? Kevin's decision could actually set him up to win the game. Or completely lose it for him. (It's all about who is in the jury house, people, and how they got there.)
We'll find out on Thursday.
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