So we march back to camp after tribal.
Russell is REALLY worried that he’s the next one out. Well, dude, you shouldn’t have used the idol. You didn’t get a single vote, you paranoid little man who talks all big but freaks the first time there’s a whiff of trouble.
Laura: “Russell was dumb for using the idol. He’s gone next.” Oh really, Laura? Do you have any idea how close YOU were to being gone? Winning the Immunity Challenge last time saved your behind. You really need to understand that, and strategize wisely.
Opening credits.
Cut to Natalie encountering a mouse in the woods. She’s so starved that this looks like a delicacy in the making, but she’s still a little squeamish about the whole thing. She grabs a rock and stick, debates over which one to use and then has second thoughts (“Oh, this is pitiful.”) But in the end, she uses both to send the thing to mouse heaven.
She arrives back in camp carrying the deceased mouse in a coconut shell. The guys all think she’s bad-ass for doing such a thing and are really impressed, especially Jaison. They skin that sucker, roast it, and snack away.
Tree mail arrives and they all head off to a Reward Challenge. The prize is a chance to enjoy a “rock slide” and a picnic.
This one involves the 11 survivors splitting into two teams of 5. (Whoops, the numbers are off. They draw straws and Natalie is left out. She can’t compete.) On each team, 4 members have to race and gather these painted coconut-things and then assemble them to spell out numbers. Once they have the numbers, they give them to the 5th member, who is blindfolded and then has to “program” the numbers into a lock using only touch.
So off they go, and it’s fairly close. The only stand-out muck up is that Shambo cannot get her act together. She runs like a wounded turtle, keeps dropping things, and is no help in solving the number puzzle. Other than that, everybody’s up to par.
In the end, despite Shambo’s ineptitude, the purple team wins. This team also includes John, Kelly, Monica and Dave. It doesn’t hit me until later that all five of them are former Galu tribe members. This bit of detail will become critical in just a bit.
The yellow team goes back home to pout and think about their loss,
The purple team heads off to this rock slide thing, which is just that: waterfalls running over very smooth rocks that you slide down into crystal-clear pools of water. Everyone has a grand time with that bit, and we learn that John is able to do a no-hands back flip. This really impresses me. Do you know how hard it is to do that? I tried a million times back in my youthful days when I wanted to be a male cheerleader. (Yes, we all have secret passions to reveal.) Never could do it. Everything but that.
But aside from the amazing gymnastics, what has John really done to deserve the prize? On the flip side, no one is paying attention to him as a threat at this moment. Possible sneaky-by winner? Just sayin.
Then the rock-slide gang digs into their picnic of fried chicken and other comfort food. As they munch, they discover a note in the picnic basket, which tells them there is a hidden immunity idol back at camp. (Which makes sense, if you’re keeping score. Erik didn’t use his when he was blind-sided out, so they’re going to slap that one back out there.)
This is when it hits me that all the members of the winning team are former Galu. And four of the five are all about gunning down the former Foa Foa one by one, and not letting them know there is another idol up for grabs. They plot to eliminate Russell first. Interestingly enough, Shambo stands up for Russell, saying she doesn’t want him eliminated yet. Only Kelly seems to think this is an odd thing to say. She’s suspicious, and says so in a sidebar.
Cut back to camp, and we have Russell, convinced that Erik’s idol has been replayed, running around trying to find the thing. And damn it all, he manages to FIND the thing, once again doing it without a single clue.
I really don’t want to do it, because I can’t stand him, but I’ve got to give Russell some props. The rest of the losing team is back at camp, whining about not winning the giant slide and the chicken, and Russell is the only on e actively trying to win the game. And having amazing luck while doing so.
Damn it all. This guy just might get the big prize after all.
Russell in a sidebar. “Am I that damn good?” (The part of Russell that I can’t stand.) And “I’m not telling no one.” (The part of Russell that I don’t believe. He can’t help but brag about his actions. He won’t be able to keep his mouth shut.)
Sure enough, Russell is only able to keep his mouth shut until the picnic people get back, and then he latches on to Shambo and drags her into the jungle. They sit down at the end of the little bridge where he found his latest treasure, and for an alarming moment we are treated to the sight of Shambo scratching at something in her crotch, somehow not aware that there’s a wide-angle, hi-def camera practically shoved between her legs. I’m speechless.
But Russell’s not. He whips out the idol, Shambo lights up, and they immediately begin chattering about how they should get everyone to vote for Russell, he’ll stun everybody with the idol, and then their two little votes will send Laura home.
Yes, these two are still so manically focused on getting Laura out that they’re basically willing to waste an idol to do so. (Come on people, is THAT really the best use for the idol?) At least Shambo does have a little bit of sanity left, pointing out that Laura cannot win the immunity challenge for this plan to work. Russell just grins like that’s not going to be any problem.
Cut to the Immunity Challenge.
It’s a two-parter. First, everyone has to throw these hook things attached to a rope, try to snag a bag with a puzzle piece, and then drag the bag back to them. The first three people to get their two bags back to them advance to the second round, where they work a giant puzzle board.
And off we go with the first round. Mick snags his two bags rather quickly, followed by Shambo a bit later. And then it looks like Russell is going to be the third, because he’s just hooked into his second bag. But then what does the idiot do? He’s actually looking around at everyone else, smirking and triumphant, instead of dragging his bag across the line in order to officially finish.
Meanwhile, Laura, who doesn’t give up, snags her second bag and rips that sucker across the sand and over her line before Russell has even realized what happened. That little smirk of his quickly turns into a completely different expression. Dumbass. You lost because of your own arrogance.
Now part two, where the remaining three untie their puzzle pieces and try to work this intricate puzzle board. Mick and Shambo get their bags open fairly quickly, and actually have a bit of time to work the puzzle before Laura even starts. Looks like Laura is screwed at this point, as the other two get further and further ahead of her, with Russell back to smirking and practically dancing he’s so happy.
Laura finally gets her bags open, walks up to her puzzle board, studies it quickly, then blazes through it, and finishes her puzzle before the other two are even halfway down with their puzzles, even though they had a huge head start.
Russell’s jaw drops open.
Laura is safe at Tribal. Again.
Laura in a sidebar: “Tonight, Russell is going home.” (Um, well, there’s a little bit of a problem with that…)
Sidebar with Shambo, where’s she’s really sad that they can’t get Laura. But then she perks up. Hey, they can get Kelly instead, who is best buds with Laura, and therefore they still get to hurt Laura. (Again, Shambo and Russell have got to let go of this Laura thing for now and focus on the bigger game.) Shambo races off to coordinate with Russell. Thankfully, she’s not scratching anything as she does so.
Then we see Russell telling Jaison that he has the idol (see, Russ can’t help his mouth), and then telling Jaison to vote for Kelly. Jaison runs to tell Natalie and Mick that Russell has the idol, and then Russ runs up and tells Nat and Mick to vote for Kelly.
Okay, side note, it’s very clear that the former Foa Foa people are up to something, as they are racing all over the place, clearly plotting something. And Shambo is right up there in the mix, somehow. Shouldn’t the former Galu tribe members be a little curious?
Nope. Dave, Laura, Monica and John are off to one side, confirming that everyone is on board to send Russell home. And get this, Monica actually asks “What if Russell has already found the idol?”, and Dave actually responds “There’s NO way, we can’t even worry about that.”
“Don’t you think we should have a backup plan?”
Dave: “Nope.”
Time for Tribal.
They bring Erik in, who was voted out last time and is the first member of the jury. He glares at everybody and clearly has a major attitude. (Dude, you’re done. You can’t win. Why don’t you focus on the game and see who deserves to win, and quit hatin, hmmm?)
Jeff starts asking his little questions, and we spend quite a bit of time with people slamming Erik, so he just pouts some more. And Jaison even has a prophetic line: “Maybe there’s another Erik that hasn’t been exposed.” Bingo.
Then it basically breaks down into a Galu versus Foa Foa debate, with people saying increasingly cocky things. (Galu is more cocky, by far, for those of you keeping score.) It really doesn’t prove anything other than what we already know about Survivor. You’ve get to the numbers more evenly balanced before the “old” tribes will melt into one, and the single-player game really starts.
Then we’re off to vote, with Erik glaring at everybody that walks by because he’s such a good sport and all. Finally, Jeff runs to fetch the jar.
Just as Jeff is about to start pulling names, Russell hauls out the immunity idol and says a line that I really like, even though I don’t like him: “I ain’t finished playin just yet.” Jeff verifies that the idol is the real deal.
The former Galu members are in total shock. They know it’s going to be one of them. But who?
Jeff throws away all 7 votes for Russell.
And it only takes 3 votes to send Kelly home.
Laura is furious with Russell, whispering “He just stirred up a whole lot of hell, is what he did.” And who does she whisper this to? Shambo. Sitting there with a squirmy expression as she tries to feign support, even though her hands have a little splash of Kelly’s blood on them.
Can’t wait to see what Laura tries to do as revenge.
Finally, Jeff announces that the idol will be going back into the field. What? A played idol going back in? Doesn’t always happen. I’m sure Russell will find it again. It will probably just fall into his hands while he’s wandering down a path to take a leak
Oh, and Dave. Maybe next time you should try listening to Monica instead of your own ego. Ya think?
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