Tuesday, July 28, 2009

#36 - "Big Brother" - Season 11, Episode 9

Right away, we have Jessie fessing up in the Diary Room that he has no intentions of putting up Ronnie. Great.

Then we have another scene with budding love birds Jordan and Jeff. It's cute, as usual, but I notice that once again she is fiddling with her (I'm assuming) bra. Why is this girl always messing with her structural undergarments. I mean, really. Start a tally sheet. Jordan is always digging and pulling. Does she have a rash?

Ronnie goes to Michelle and actually tries to convince her, if she has a chance, to pick him to play for her in the Veto Competition. What? Even mousy Michelle can't help but say, dude, you only want in so you can save your own ass. Then she races off to tell a few other folks in the house, but they don't really get what she's saying. Poor thing just doesn't have any people skills.

Ronnie then goes up to the HOH Room to chat with Jessie and the always-there Natalie. (Does home girl EVER get out of his bed?) Jessie tells Ronnie that he is completely safe. Natalie lays there and scribbles "Nat loves Jess" on her schoolbook covers.

Jessie in the Diary Room: "I'm picking people off left and right in this house." Okay, to clarify, Mr. Steroid Overload, RONNIE is actually the one who laid the groundwork for this dealio. And, point two, you are overestimating your power. Oh wait, that's what cost you the LAST time you planned this game. And you lost that game, right? Just checking.

Then a few of the houseguests play Truth or Dare. Kind of silly and boring, but end result is that one of the Dares means Ronnie has to hug Casey (who is not playing this assinine game and has no clue) for 20 seconds. And Ronnie does. Casey is not pleased with the uninvited groping from an enemy.

So Casey goes and semi-rants at some of the game players (but not Ronnie). "Don't ever send no rat to hug me." Casey, dude, you think you all street, but part of being street is learning to chill at the right time. Wurd. And yelling at Russell, who said 27 times that it was just a game, ain't street. It's just stoopid.

And check this: Casey actually puts two and two together and realizes that if some people are actually being nice to Ronnie and inviting him to play Chutes and Ladders and whatnot, then maybe the whole house isn't against Ronnie. Sadly, Casey forgets this thought two seconds later.

Then we have the mini-ceremony where players are picked for the POV Competition. And the suspicious trend continues, with yet again the athletes being over-represented in the pickings. Maybe it's just me and my love for conspiracies (Lee Harvey Oswald was NOT the only bad boy on that grassy knoll, sayin), but something ain't right here.

Oh, and during this business, Jessie picks Natalie to be the host of the POV competition. This does not sit well with Lusty Lydia, who nearly bites her tongue off in a reaction shot. I'm assuming that the nearly three-inch spike she has in said tongue is what stopped her from completing the mission. (Side note: How are tongue piercings fun in any way? I mean really. Come on.)

A couple of scenes with Casey, where it's clear that he lost the insight he had two seconds ago on how the house feels about Ronnie. Since Ronnie didn't get picked for the POV competition, Casey thinks he's just fine. I'm guessing Casey was dropped on his head as a child.

So we get to the actual POV Competition, and it involves the players dressing up as pigs and rooting around in a pig-sty swamp thing and digging for truffles that have points hidden inside. Another example of high art, Big Brother style.

Jordan: "I love gettin dirty like that." And I love the way Jordan says "mud", stretching the word out for about 10 seconds. Southern accents are just much more interesting than others, fess it, you know it's true.

And Jordan again: "It mighta been poop. I'd be okay if it was poop."

Then Queen of Chima: "I don't get dirty." Of course you don't. Your collagen might get infected.

Sadly, one of the mid-game outcomes is that Casey has to wear a banana suit for a week. His street cred is already questionable, and now this? Depends on how home boy plays it, though. Sometime a big banana can get you far. Sayin.

In the end, Michelle wins POV. Yay! Then the poor thing tries to take a victory swing over the pig swamp, trips over a bale of hay, and slams face first into the muck. Poor thing can't win even when she wins. But she's safe, so screw it.

Shot of Casey in the banana suit, smoking on the patio.

Michelle meets with Jessie in the HOH Room, trying to see what his plans are. She quickly figures out that Jessie and Ronnie are working together (smart girl, though a bit late). She also figures out that Casey is Jessie's target (even smarter girl, still a bit late). And she wants Jessie out of the house (really smart girl, now do something about it).

Lydia and Kevin, somewhat surfacing out of their swamp of denial, wonder if maybe they should keep Casey instead of sending him home. And we have another stampede of people racing about the house:

Lydia spills to Michelle and Jordan about Jessie planning to put up Casey. Jordan races to Jeff. Jeff races to Casey. And Casey, in the banana suit no less, confronts Jessie.

Jessie tells Casey: "The right guy's gonna go out the door." But won't say who. Can it BE any clearer at this point, Casey? To his credit, Casey presents some valid points to keep him, but the writing is on the wall.

Time for the actual Veto Ceremony.

Michelle pulls herself off the block. Completely expected. Jessie, clearly in his own world and posing for the cameras, actually goes off on some weird-ass rant about how he's the king of the house. And then puts Casey on the block.

Afterwards, a few shots from the Diary Room.

Jordan: "I may not be the smartest crayon in the box, but I'm not dumb." Then girl, you need to work those crayons, cause your friends are rolling out the door like there's a buffet at KFC.

Ronnie: "This is MY house. And I'm not going anywhere." In a perfect world, Ronnie would be stoned to death by an angry mob. And then stabbed with rusty pitchforks, just to make sure. But this is Big Brother. Where idiots gain power and then don't know what to do with it.

Why am I still watching this show?

Oh right. Because the producers completely manipulate everything you see, tweaking things here and there, and inviting back former (hated) house guests just so you can continue hating them and tune in every episode to see if they finally get booted out. Marketing 101.

So of course I'll keep watching. And hoping that Ronnie and Jessie get voted out. And they will. It's coming. It's just a matter of how many semi-decent folk are sent home first and how many are still around when the coup happens. But wouldn't it be nice if the producers would just stay the hell out of it and let the game play out naturally?

Just sayin.

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