So, Sookie, Bill and Jessica are racing away from Jessica's home where all hell was breaking loose at the end of the last episode. Apparently Bill has glamoured all the humans and we're good there.
But we're not so good in the car. Sookie is not really pleased with some of Bill's actions and words, he pulls over, she gets out of HER OWN CAR and stomps off. Jessica tells Bill he is not treating Sookie right and he better go after her. Am I starting to like whiny Jessica? Hmmm.
Within seconds of stomping away, Sookie is attacked by this creature with a bull's head. What the hell? Said creature rips up her back and there's lots of blood. See, you TRY to keep the communication going in a relationship and you end up getting attacked by bull demons. It's just not right.
Bill and Jessica race up, Bill tries feeding Sookie his blood, but Sookie is rude about it and just foams at the mouth. This isn't working. They lug Sookie back to her car and race off to Fangtasia. Because people are so nice at THAT place.
Over at Merlotte's, newbie waitress Daphne gets yelled at by Sam for being 64 dollars short, he says she has to make it up. Daphne cries and all, but damn, girl, that's some serious cash in the bayou. Pay attention.
Cut back to Fangtasia, where it appears that Elton John is operating on Sookie. Oh wait, maybe it's not EJ, but anyway, Sookie's back is all clawed up something fierce, and Elton babbles about Kimodo dragons and poison and yadda yadda. Lord Vampire Priest Eric is puzzled, doesn't know what is going on. Well, that's a good sign. Eric sends Pam and that other guy off to investigate.
Quick couple of scenes at Godcamp, where Jason is having nightmares about vampires he has helped kill even though he knew it was a boo boo to do so, and some interplay with Luke who just wants Jason's fang, sayin.
Back to Fangtasia, Pam and the other guy report back from the field and don't really know anything other than it was "animal". We kind of got that part, guys, but thanks. And Pam is miffed because she ruined some gorgeous pumps traipsing around in the mud. Suck it up, Pam, they aren't THAT cute.
Cut to Mary Ann's house, where Tara questions Mary Ann about why she doesn't get along with Sam. In said scene, Mary Ann is rolling the most humongous joint I have ever seen. Not that I've ever seen any. Just sayin.
Cut to Merlotte's, Sam is packing up like he's planning to go far away. What?
Over to Godcamp, some kind of group therapy thing, and Jason fesses up that he really doesn't think vamps are all that bad. This does not set well with Sarah, who takes Jason out to the porch and splains some things. Seems she, at one point, marched in parades for vamp equal rights. Then the vamps killed her sister. This doesn't ring quite true. Rings more like foreplay. But Jason prays with her anyway. Uh huh.
Fangtasia: Sookie is all better now. She reads the mind of the screaming-prone bleached-blonde waitress and finds out that Lafayette is being held in the basement. Sookie uses a gun to force screamer to lead her to Laff. Waitress continues with the screaming.
Mary Ann's house: Big party with uninhibited people. No surprise. Tara and the hawt guy grow close. No surprise, part two.
Fangtasia again, Sookie slaps Eric and tells him to go to hell. (You GO, girl.) Eric states that he does not take well to threats. No surprise, part three.
Then we have Jessica, waking up from her day slumber, all alone in Bill's manor. No one is there. So of course she puts on an ugly yellow dress and heads to Merlotte's, as anyone would. There, she meets a potential beau, Hoyt, who finds her ravishing. She reveals that little vampire angle, but he doesn't care. Romance blossoms.
More at Fangtasia: Sookie will only help Eric with the missing vampire warlord in Dallas if Eric releases Laff in the basement. Fine. During the negotiations, Sookie utters two really fun lines, "I need a driveway" and "I'd prefer cancer". You just had to have been there.
More at Mary Ann's house: Detective Andy shows up, there are people running around with breasts and other things flopping openly, Mary Ann semi-flirts with Andy, and a pig disappears. Just go with it.
Back at Godcamp, the camp leader and wifey Sarah are still working on bringing Jason fully into the fold, and the leader utters "Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anybody". Make of that what you will.
Jessica drags new beau Hoyt back to Bill's manor, bonding occurs, they play Wii (surely a sign of the devil), Hoyt suggest that maybe they should, you know, wait a little bit before going any further. Jessica thinks about it for 1.5 seconds and then is ON him.
Sookie and Bill take Laff to his home, with Laff asking Bill to tell his vampire playmates that he basically doesn't remember anything. Then Laff goes inside and wraps himself in a homemade blanket. This is okay, he's been chained to a pole in a smelly room and stuff.
Mary Ann's house, Tara suddenly realizes that there are a lot of slutty and possibly vampiric people at the party (really girl? just now?), and tells hawt guy that there is "no US if this is your scene". This from Tara, who managed to conquer the ginormous joint from earlier. Girl, please.
Quick scene with Sam stripping down and running through the woods with one of his doggie companions. Really.
Bill and Sookie arrive back at the manor, and Bill is not pleased with Jessica and Hoyt doing whatever they are doing on the couch. Jessica claims she didn't feed. It's really not clear WHAT has happened, as we have lots of that quirky fast vampire movement, but it's obvious that Bill is not pleased.
Finally, we have Sam jumping into a remote lake/river/something and reverting back to his naked self. Daphne, of all people, wanders up and decides to join him. As she whisks off her top, we see that she has claw marks on her back.
Probably not good.
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