So we start with Ray and Jenna showing up at "the big house" to announce to the other Ewings that they are getting married. Bobby hesitates and then congratulates the both of them, Miss Ellie looks wistful and smiles half-heartedly, Sue Ellen immediately glances at Bobby to gage his reaction before continuing, JR chokes on his eggs and scurries away, Clayton apparently forgets his lines and glances at the pool, and Teresa the maid cleans up after everybody.
And that, dear friends, encapsulates the entire series in one scene.
But since I brought Teresa up, let's discuss. Why is it that nobody at Southfork can pronounce Teresa's name the same way? Miss Ellie says "tuh-RAY-zuh". JR calls her "tuh-ree-suh". Guest stars just look at her as if she's from craft services and could possibly snag a bagel or two. You know the actress hates everybody in the house, and most likely poured cleaning products on every dish she served them.
This angle is kind of fun. Let's pick apart some more of the minor characters.
We have JR's secretary, Sly. This woman is absolutely and completely devoted to JR, will do anything for him, and actually believes that he is a good and decent man. She's his secretary, for gawd's sake. She knows the scoop, handles all kinds of dirty little errands, lies and spies for him, yet still thinks he's The Second Coming. I blame drugs, it can be the only answer.
Continuing with the secretaries, we also have Phyliss working for Bobby. We like her a lot better, she seems to have a more solid grasp of reality, and she does what she can to help Bobby and others nail JR. But she loses points for working all these years alongside Sly and yet still hasn't pulled out a letter opener and slashed Sly to pieces. It would be totally justified, no jury would convict her, and it would make a great episode. Just do it.
Moving on to Jackie. She is currently Cliff's secretary, she used to be Cliff AND Pam's secretary before Pam left town after learning she would never be on the cover of Vogue again. Jackie has been around forever. She goes way back to the day when she was working with Pam when Pam was a buyer/stylist/something for that department store. (Remember those days, when Pam was all manic/depressive and threatening to jump off buildings because she broke a nail? Gawd that got old.)
Anyway, poor Jackie has to sit there, pretending to answer phones and type things while Cliff abuses her constantly, because he's such a jerk. She has suffered for YEARS working with Cliff, it's been tragic. And now we have Dandy around, who's even worse, calling her a "little girl" and being smelly. Surely Jackie would be cleared of all murder charges as well.
THAT's what needs to happen. An entire season devoted to the secretaries, with each of them plotting and conniving and getting to wear sexy leather outfits like the main female characters. That would be so much more exciting than all those stupid 5-episode story lines where JR goes after some dumbass character we've never seen before. (Can you say "Barbara Carrera and that whole season with the fake country"? Or Donna Reed?)
Oh my, look at the time, better wrap this up. Um, JR manages to snag Kimberly, wife of his new nemesis, Wilson Cryder. No surprise. April has more information on Nicholas Pearce. No surprise. This Lisa person turns out to be the SISTER of Christopher's biological daddy, so it does appear to be the beginnings of revenge served as cold ice cream. (And even more fodder for when Christopher begins counseling, which should be any day now.) And Cliff tells the drilling team to pull the plug on Dandy if they don't find any oil by morning.
And I didn't see a single bow in anyone's hair.
No comments:
Post a Comment