#8 - "Dallas" - Season 11, Episode 11

Let's see.

Well, we have Cliff shutting down the drilling team. Dandy arrives at the drilling site, finds this out, then races off, promising to come back with alternative funding. Turns out this funding is in the shape of a shotgun, which he then uses to force the team to start drilling again.

Hello? Dandy is a feeble, alchohol-weakened old man who walks with a cane. Yet this team of 20-odd drillers scamper to do his bidding, without once thinking of bitch-slapping the guy and then heading off to Applebee's for the lunch special. Sigh.

Lisa, who we now realize is Christopher's aunt, semi-kidnaps him at school, but then takes him out to Southfork. Miss Ellie, confused but gracious, allows them to ride horses together. Bobby shows up, there is a scene, and it is clear that Lisa is no longer the guest of honor. More material for Christopher's eventual stay in a mental hospital.

April has more dirt on Nicholas Pearce, but not enough for the whole story, so that bit of business is getting a little old. April also wears a hideous spandex outfit at one point, totally breaking my concentration. I'm sure I lost a few plot details during the trauma.

Sue Ellen meets with Nicholas in the lobby of some confusing hotel. (Why do the exterior shots and interior shots never match up on this show? Surely this series had a decent budget by now.) Sue Ellen spies JR sucking face with Kimberly in a conveniently glass-walled elevator, and begins emoting sadness and disappointment. Sister girl, you KNOW this man. If you still believe that he can be faithful, then you BELONG in any of the various sanitoriums where he has had you commited over the seasons.

Side note, in another scene, we learn that Kimberly finds it exciting, perhaps even erotic, for JR and her husband to be in some type of competition with each other, fighting man-to-man. Finally, an interesting angle. The potential for homoerotic subtext is intriguing, then I realize that I don't want to see either of them naked, and the excitement dims. Oh well.

Finally, back to the hostage drilling site, one of the guys realizes he can use the PHONE to call for help and stop the mean old man with the gun. He calls Cliff, poorly-treated Jackie calls for a helicopter, and Cliff arrives at the field to kick some Dandy ass. During the very fake tussle, oil suddenly shoots out of the earth. The fiddles kick up on the soundtrack and we have a Ma and Pa Kettle jig of celebration, all hard feelings about the gun forgotten.

Seconds later, the oil stops, that's it, one spurt of excitement and we're done. No more.

Perfect symbol for the season thus far.