Kevin: "I HATE Jessie."
Preaching to the choir, sister girl.
Yes, this episode was all about Jessie, with blinding reminders about why nobody could stand him in his original season, and further underlining the fact that the producers brought him back just for that very factor. Forget about strategy or gameplay or even fun, this is now the "Jessie Brother" show.
We spend WAY too much face time with him, mugging and preening and still not understanding that he is NOT God's gift to... anyone. Hello? There are 12 other people on the show, but you wouldn't know this except every so often you see a stray arm or an extra place setting in the background while Jessie struts in the foreground.
But I'm not bitter.
Anyway, I'll try to provide tidbits of the remaining cast based on the entire three minutes devoted to them during this episode.
Russell is a complete jerk. We can put aside the fact that he full-on manhandled his business at least twice. (Some guys are just like that. They don't realize that just because THEY love their nuggets very deeply, the rest of the world doesn't need affirmation of this devotion.) But he did say that Jessie was a "really cool cat", so he instantly has to be voted out, both for his dumbass retro slang AND his apparent Jessie worship. Did I NOT already say that these two would be pumping iron together?
Geek-wad Ronnie is in dual suck-up/delusion mode as well, proclaiming that he is SO excited that Jessie is in the house because he really "wants to work out" (what in nerd hell?) and constantly spewing in the Diary Room that he is the smartest person in the world. He says this at least 5 times. Seriously, rewind and count 'em, boy is full of himself.
Quick bit with the HOH Room, and more sucking up, but the room does have a "water wall" behind the bed. This was interesting, I'd never seen such, and it did seem pretty nifty. But I'm sure I can't afford it. (And not sure that I would ever get any sleep, what with running to the bathroom every five minutes all night.)
More shots with Ronnie, sporting his new "wet-do" hairstyle. He apparently thinks this will endear him with the others. It will not. He looks like a lecherous Howdy Doody before they decided to go with the redhead look.
Brief snippet of Jordan proclaiming that she always tries to be nice to people, even if she doesn't understand the overly geeky, muscled, or tattooed. Might be warming up to her. Or it may just be the southern accent.
Ronnie approaches Jessie, and they sort of broker a deal that the Brainiacs will secretly support the Athletic Supporters. (I think they even shake on it, but maybe not, such an action would probably snap Ronnie's arm right off.) But the catch is that one of the Brainiacs has to be a pawn in the eviction nominations. Gulp.
We learn that Russell is focused on getting Lydia out first, and that Natalie is hip with that. Jessie has several additional promotional scenes about this, wherein he claims that he is going to do what's right for HIM, not just the athletes. Does he stick to his word? Keep reading.
Laura, with cleavage the size of a small country, makes an obvious play for Jessie's affection by proclaiming him the cutest guy in the house, even saying he looks like Zeus. Puh-leeze. (Wait, is she being paid by the producers to worship Jessie, which is apparently the theme of this season? Things that make you go.... Girl, how can you even see over those beach balls?)
Meanwhile, Natalie, cuz she be in the ruling Athletic Supporters crew and feeling safe and all, or maybe just cuz she all street, is running around talking smack to Jessie and everybody. Enjoy it while ya can, Sistrine. What a difference a day can make in this asylum.
Chima still has lips that don't seem right. In case you were wondering.
Then Jessie tells everybody that instead of just the normal "food competition", there's going to be a "not-have" competition. (Kevin's Diary Room reaction: "All I know is that 'not have' means 'not good'. I don't want that up in my Big Brother experience." Classic.)
So the "not-have" competition involves a pseudo rave, with BB'ers painting themselves up and racing around on a blacklight set with day-glo liquids that have to be directed to a spinning wheel. (The details are not important.) The Brainiacs come in last, and learn that they not only have to eat slop, they also have to take cold showers and sleep in a new room that looks like a padded cell with no cute furniture whatsoever.
Chima, upper lip almost reaching her eyes, has a breakdown at this news, running off to a dark corner and crying and ranting. (We then see a few shots with Chima proclaiming that "everyone who knows her" knows this is not what she's all about. What the hell? Did Satan force you to sign a document of some kind? I think not. So shut up. Have you not watched the show?)
Then we have some filler scenes, like an impromptu bikini competition and more shots of Jessie explaining how he's going to do what's right for him and not listen to the other Athletic Supporters. Oh, and Laura stating "Jessie seems to be ignoring me." You think?
And Russell with his "I'm running the show" and "I'm telling Jessie what to do". I roll my eyes and sigh, but then....
At the nomination ceremony, Jessie puts up Chima (no surprise, all lips and tears, and there was supposed to be a brainiac pawn) and Lydia. Which is exactly what Russell wanted. Who's zooming who?
As you know, I liked Lydia from the first shots of her, throwing 8-inch glitter wedgies into her duffel bag. So I knew she would be nominated, cause that's how it rolls in the BB world, the people I like get the boot. So maybe I should flip it around, change the karma, and say how much I really, really like Russell?
That just tastes bad. Anyway, we still have a POV competition coming up, so things could flip on their own. But Lydia needs to work on the spin control, stat.
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