We start out with Bobby at South Fork, preparing to leave for Washington, when Cliff suddenly shows up. He’s got Lisa with him, of all people. She just wants to say goodbye to Christopher. Bobby gets all angry at first, but then he gives in, because that’s what Bobby is good at. So Lisa has a tear-filled moment with Christopher (“… if you ever need a friend…”) that I totally didn’t buy.
Casey meets with JR and fesses up about meeting Kimberly, spilling that Kim wants his proxy vote, with her not knowing that he doesn’t actually own the stock. Is JR mad? Hell, no, meet her again, get the scoop. And by the way, don’t be seen in public with Sly anymore. Have a good day!
Quick scene with Nicholas still at his parents’ hide-away house, trying to convince them to change their minds and move to another safe house. Nope, not interested.
Clay calls Ellie, checking up and being all excited about picking her up from the airport soon. Actually, says Miss Ellie, I think I’m going to see Lucy in Atlanta for a bit. In other words, Clay, you are still in the doghouse and will remain there until I decide to let you out, even though you have no idea why you are in the doghouse.
Jenna confronts Charlie about the bad report card where she forged Jenna’s signature and other assorted little lies. Charlie tries to explain, but Jenna is not hip to that. (“I don’t wanna hear one more story out of you!”) And by the way, Randy is out of your life, and if you ever lie again, “the result is going to be very unpleasant!” Unpleasant? What does that mean, Jenna? Will you force her to get a haircut just like yours?
Sue Ellen and JR, with him being all cranky and trying to push Sue Ellen toward a divorce. They spar for a bit, with Linda Gary looking radiant, and she makes it very clear to him that she knows exactly what he’s up to. But she has other plans. “If I don’t give you a divorce, you’re never gonna get that company!” Then she smiles.
April gets a call from Nick, “I’ll explain everything when I get back tomorrow.” Click. Then April innocently checks the phone messages on her machine at home. There’s a threatening call from JR. (No surprise.) A boring call from Bobby. Then a creepy voice saying “we found your file on Lombardi.” Okay, looks like April is going to be running from people in a dark parking lot very soon.
Bobby arrives in Washington, and meets Kaye of the now-released hair, just before some cocktail party involving senators and the Ewing Oil name thing. I don’t really get all of the details, because she’s got a huge, hideous bow on her dress and I can’t focus.
Laurel and Brett the Ex are somewhere eating, and she’s trying to explain why their relationship didn’t work. He was smothering her with his jealousy and all that. He’s not listening. He’s flying back to England tomorrow and wants her to come with him. When she balks, he snaps “don’t turn your back on your own kind.” The snooty British thing. She’s not impressed. “Stop it, or I’m leaving.”
Back to the senator gig in Washington, where everyone has conveniently already gone home. Bobby and Kaye flirt and get all mushy. Love is apparently blossoming.
Nick shows up at April’s hotel room. He’s not really happy with her. “You let the toothpaste out of the tube, and it doesn’t wanna go back in.” (Yes, he actually said that, I rewound to make sure. I’m pretty sure the Dallas writers never got an Emmy.)
Anyway, Nick tells April to just go back to her condo, they don’t want her, they want him. But if they do show up, “don’t play games, give ‘em my name and my number.” When she tries to protest, he gets all “Raging Bull” on her. “This is MY business.”
David meets up with Clayton, and tells him that he’s leaving Dallas. (Yay! We don’t like you.) But there’s one more thing. David wants 50,000 dollars from Clay. (What!) Clay: “I don’t want any more of your paintings. Oh, David’s not talking about that. He wants it as hush money or he’ll run tell Ellie. Clayton is instantly on his feet and bum-rushing the jerk. “You’re a stupid young man. If I ever hear of you approaching Ellie, you won’t live to see the next day.” Clayton got game.
Kimberly meets with her dad, telling him that his “fight with JR frightens me”. Daddy’s not scared. Kim: “It’s not worth your life!” Daddy: “Life isn’t worth anything if you’re not willing to live it.” That’s very nice, Dad, but we’re talking about JR here, who will do anything to get what he wants, especially when Miss Ellie is out of town.
JR shows up at April’s condo. She tries to be strong at first: “What do YOU want?” JR: “Sell Westar.” April: “Nope.” And by the way, I told Bobby about the boinking. So there. Well, that sets JR off, and there’s a huge fight where he’s really mean, ending with her screaming “Okay! I’ll sell!”
Poor April. She’s just not having any fun lately.
Clayton meets with Laurel, and spills about David trying to blackmail him. She seems genuinely shocked, but also not surprised. Clay: “I just want to make sure you’re not involved.” Hmm. Is she?
Sue Ellen is in her office and gets a call from Nick. She’s instantly horny. They flirt a bit and he promises to meet her later in the office. Then Kimberly marches in.
Sue Ellen: “What a joy!” Kim: “I don’t understand how you can stay with him after finding him with another woman. I could never do that.” Sue Ellen: “Of course you could, don’t put yourself down.” Kim: “I want to know when you’re getting out.” Sue Ellen, smiling: “I’m going to stay married to JR until the end of time so he can’t have you and he can’t have Westar.”
Linda Gray is a goddess.
Cliff rushes into JR’s office. “Westar stock is falling!” JR’s not worried. Cliff: “I’m gonna sell mine!” JR: “If I don’t have your proxies, then it’s goodbye pipeline. I’ll cut you off.” Cliff looks all sad and rejected. Dude, you knowingly slept with the devil. Did you think there would be puppies and rainbows?
Bobby meets with April, he’s thought about what she said, and even though it was fun, he’s ending the relationship. April thinks it’s the slap and tickle with JR. Actually, no, Bobby can understand the JR thing. Really? April: “So it’s ME you don’t want.”
Do the script writers just hate April? Did she do something to them?
Back to Sue Ellen’s office, where Nick has just arrived. Sue Ellen is all excited and feeling free. She’s going to do whatever she wants, screw JR. But Nick cuts the party short: It’s not good timing, personal problems, need to be invisible, can’t see you for a while, or call you, you have to trust me, be in touch as soon as I can, blah, blah, blah. Okay, bye.
Guess Sue Ellen washed her hair for no reason.
Cut to Ray and Jenna’s mansion late at night, where Charlie is doing a bad job of sneaking out of the house. Trying to use the front door, no less. Ray catches her. “Where are you going?” Jenna races down the stairs. “We need to talk!” Then they all glare at each other.
Final scene, April, looking really haggard after a long day where everybody keeps yelling at her or saying they don’t want her, is straggling up to her condo. And here come the gangsters that we’ve been expecting all the time, rushing up and grabbing her.
Girl just can’t get a break.
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