We start out at the Galu camp, where Erik is hiding in that weird tree of his babbling about good Russell being gone. Dude, you can’t come out of your tree to talk to the camera? You look a little creepy up in there. You might want to discuss this with your agent.
Then all of the Galu guys are huddled together, whining about the fact that it’s now 4 guys and 4 girls left on the tribe. Like this is important in any way. It’s like they’re in some jock frat house. Somebody even utters “Bro’s before Ho’s.” Classy. Then they decide they better get Shambo on their side, so they can have 5 guys again.
Roll opening credits.
Quick visit to the Foa Foa camp, where, amazingly, they all seem to be in good spirits, convinced that they can turn this thing around. But seriously, 5 against 8 at this point in the game are some pretty overwhelming odds. Especially with all of Russell’s lies. That crap comes to light and any trust left in that tribe is gone.
Back to Galu, where Erik is still in that damn tree. He’s thinking the best way to gain Shambo’s undying loyalty is to anoint her as the new tribe leader. He races to the other guys, and they all seem in agreement. He then races to give the news to Shambo, apparently assuming that by being the one to tell her this, she will profess never-ending love and do anything he wishes.
She just looks at him. “Well, we gotta have a vote.”
And vote they do, with the guys shoving everybody into the sleeping hut, and arranging a hand vote that is so fast you really don’t know what happened, but it’s clear that all the guys are voting for Shambo. She easily wins.
(Quick sidebar with Monica, where she’s really suspicious about what’s going on. She should be.)
Shambo, who initially acted like she didn’t really want this (“I didn’t ask for this.”) has a very fast change of heart, and decides to give a long inauguration speech about how her style is different than the now-departed Russell, but one thing is clear: Since she’s a former marine office, she expects things to get done when she says they need to be done. Oh boy.
Sidebar with Dave: “Shambo will screw up our plans if we tell her ANYTHING.”
You got that right, buddy. She’s just visiting this planet. Her own world is all ate-up with the crazy.
Then it’s time for the Reward Challenge, where the winners get to spend a day on a sailboat and eat decent food. Shambo’s already moved into cocky phase as the Galu leader. She wasn’t surprised at all by her election, she’s a natural-born leader. Hoo boy.
So the game play involves matching up items that are hidden under little pyramid things. Get a match, get a point. Or, if you really like the item, you can keep it and use it at your camp, but you don’t get a point. Most points at the end wins.
Galu, as usual, storms ahead. Their first match is a fire-starting kit. When they realize that the kit is wrapped in a tarp, everyone one of the Galu people have a small orgasm and SCREAM that they are keeping this and losing the point. I guess they are still bitter about good Russell letting the first tarp get away, choosing foo-foo pillows over something, you know, actually useful.
But no worries about giving up the point. Galu steamrolls through the competition and easily wins. They get the sailboat and the food. Interestingly, when Shambo has to choose someone from Galu to go to the Foa Foa camp, she picks Laura, which definitely surprised Laura. Then Shambo rubs salt in the wound by saying she “wants to keep the guys strong”.
Translation: Shambo doesn’t care squat about the girls in Galu, apparently thinks them worthless. The Galu girls, of course, are not impressed with this at all.
Cut to the Foa Foa camp and Laura’s arrival. Laura thinks everybody in Foa Foa is really nice. Clearly, she hasn’t been watching the same show that we have.
Bad Russell (“Time to work my Houdini magic!”) almost immediately pulls Laura aside to strike a deal. Laura fesses up to being a Women’s Theology student (what is THAT?), but quickly points out that she doesn’t believe women should be pastors (oh, so she’s one of THOSE).
Russell: “I can always spot a good Christian.” Of course you can, Russell. Just look for anyone who isn’t acting like you, and bingo.
Russell then promises Laura a “final-two” arrangement. Of course he does. Russell has promised EVERYBODY a final-two deal. He’s even approached Jeff Probst during camera breaks.
Before they split up, Russell lies again, telling Laura that she can throw away her clues for the hidden Immunity Idol. Ben found it and didn’t use it, so now it’s gone.
We know that Russell actually has it. And if Laura has any brains, she will remember that if someone has the Idol and does not use it when they get voted out, the Idol is re-buried. Think, Laura, think. Smell out the lie. But we will soon learn that Laura probably did not graduate at the head of her class. If she even went to school.
Cut to the Galu tribe, rowing boats out to this giant pirate ship thing where there is supposedly food. They clamor aboard, and learn that first they have to rig all the sails to get the boat moving. (To me, that sucks. They have to WORK for their food? They already won the damn challenge.)
But the tribe seems fine with it, actually getting all giddy as they race around prepping the ship. Apparently, this is fun. (Me personally, I would just be wanting the food, and would prefer that half-dressed swarthy pirates take care of all that other business.)
Anyway, boat’s finally ready and sails off, and out comes the food. Everyone has been transported to a divine world of endless beef stew and scones. Belching commences.
Back to Foa Foa. In the foreground, Liz is desperately trying to get a fire started, a key thing in their daily lives. Behind her, Laura and Natalie are chattering away, ignoring Liz’s struggles. In this conversation, we learn that Laura rides Harleys for Jesus and loves book-of-the-month clubs based on inspirational sayings. Natalie does too! High-five and a prayer!
Liz runs off to vent her frustrations about it. Sadly, she picks Russell as the direction of her vent. He just looks at her until she goes away.
Then another sidebar rant from Russell. “Liz is so stupid” he doesn’t know how she “can walk without falling down.” And that she has a mouth on her and doesn’t know when to shut up.
Hold up. SHE has a mouth? This coming from the Napoleon-complex that has verbally threatened anyone that he thinks is threatening him. Which means everybody, because he’s got issues.
Time for the Immunity Challenge, this one involving rowing out in boats, fishing for puzzle pieces, then racing back to the beach and putting the puzzle together..
Foa Foa starts off strong, and Liz is kicking butt in fishing for the pieces, finding almost all of them herself, pushing her tribe to the lead. But on the way back, Jaison just physically gives up, and is not helping push the boat back. Foa Foa’s lead dwindles.
While putting the actual puzzle pieces together, Jaison again screws up, not understanding the pattern and killing any lead that Foa Foa had.
Galu wins. Immunity again.
Sidebar with Russell: “Maybe it’s time for Jaison to go?” Ya think? He’s whined since day one and he’s proven multiple times that he crashes and burns during competition. I’m finally agreeing with something Russell is thinking of doing, which makes me feel a little dirty.
Back at the Foa Foa camp, everybody is racing around tending to the camp. Hey, somebody’s going and I need to make sure I look useful and keep-worthy. Except Jaison. He’s lying on the beach, moaning.
Russell actually approaches Liz, and gives the impression that he is now considering Jaison a liability. Which giver her a glimmer of hope, and she works even harder around camp.
Time for Tribal.
Jeff: No use going over the dismal stats, this is one of the worst tribal performances ever, in the history of the show, losing 8 out of 10 competitions. Well, that’s a real morale builder, thanks Jeff.
Jeff then asks Russell his thoughts. Russell wants a merge right now, because “those kids can’t outwit me.” Gee, do you think Russell has any self-esteem issues? Nope. He god. We all stupid.
Jeff chats with the other members of the little tribe, and it amazes me how often the four of them talk about how much trust they have in the tribe. Trust, trust, trust. In a tribe that has Russell. Unbelievable.
Jeff gets Jaison talking. Jaison fully fesses up that he knows he’s been a factor in losing several of the challenges. Jeff: “Would you understand if they evict you?” Jaison: “Yes.”
Okay, people. How much easier can it be? Jaison constantly whines about wanting to go home, he’s costing you challenges, and he is fine if you vote him out.
But what do these idiots do?
They send Liz home. 4-to-1. The one who kicks ass every time in the challenges.
Then you know what, Foa Foa? You deserve to lose. Quit talking about curses and all that crap.
We end with Russell smiling from ear-to-ear as Liz walks away, Mick nodding in agreement.
At the closing credits, we learn that there’s a merge next week.
Which means that Foa Foa failed in yet another important area. They didn’t get Russell out before the merge, and now he’s going to be let loose on all the remaining survivors.
Makes my skin crawl.
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