#89 - "Survivor: Samoa" - Episode 6

We start out at the Foa Foa camp, where everyone is all wet and shivering because it's been raining for about three years. Lots of whining and teeth chattering, especially from Mick, but ain't NOBODY happy.

Sidebar with Jaison, where he's babbling about some TV show he used to watch, "Captain America", and he never understood back then why the one dude had a heart ring. Now he really wishes he had a ring like that. I have no idea what he was talking about, so it was either very touching or very stupid, you'll have to decide.

Then bad Russell talks Jasion into jumping in the water to "warm up". They waller around a little bit, and Jasion ends up colder than he was. Why is Jaison surprised by that? And what the hell is Russell doing that FOR?

And another inevitable sidebar with Russell, once again boasting that he rules the planet and everybody's his bitch. That man cannot get voted out fast enough.

Opening credits.

Cut go Galu, where good Russell is alone on the beach, fishing. There's weird, slightly spooky music and strange camera angles. Lots of close-ups of Russell's eyes. Very surreal. I'm starting to wonder if I'm even watching the right show.

The rest of Galu is huddled around trees, totally soaked from the rain, trying to stay warm. There's some fussing that Russell should have chosen the tarp during a previous reward challenge instead of blankets and foo-foo pillows, even from the girls that were THRILLED he picked the foo-foo.

More shots of Russell, working very hard in the rain to keep the camp and the fire going, while the rest of his shivering tribe does nothing. This goes on for a while. Seriously, like a third of the show. I'm starting to wonder, do they just not have anything interesting to show us this time? Or is something big about to happen and they are saving up for the money shot?

Cut to Foa Foa, where Mitch is half crammed into the weird tree where Russell found the idol. He claims his odd position is somehow warmer and drier. If that makes him happy, fine, but he looks just as cold and wet as everybody else.

The rest of the tribe is also holed up in various places, just trying to stay dry.

Of course, Russell thinks they are all pansies for doing so. "They lazy!" They should be trying harder. "If you don't throw up every challenge, you didn't give it your all?" Really? So tell me, Russell, why haven't we seen YOU throwing up at the challenges. You got a lotta talk in that short little body.

Back to Galu, where Erik emerges from yet another weird tree, where he apparently has been holed up for 26 hours and praying to every thing that he can think of. He looks around to find that the rain has ended and there's even a rainbow in the sky.

All the others come running out of wherever, thrilled about the rainbow and getting all excited and psyched up. It's gonna be a great day. Yay!

Time for the Reward Challenge, this time for pizza.

Before they start, Jeff tells them that BOTH tribes will be going to tribal tonight, and two people are going home. There will be no Immunity Challenge. The tribe that wins the Reward Challenge will get to eat their pizza while the other tribe votes somebody out. But both tribes are still voting people out.

Okay, time for me to sound off. I think it's complete BS when the producers pull this crap. Forcing a team to go to tribal even though they haven't lost anything or even had a chance to WIN immunity, just because it makes for interesting game play. A team should never go to tribal unless they lose the Immunity Challenge. End of story, no discussion, stop doing it.

Okay, done.

The challenge involves one person strapped into a giant wooden ball, while two blind-folded teammates try to steer the ball based on the directions of the person IN the ball who is flopping around and upside-down half the time. Once they get the ball to a certain point, then the dizzy person has to shout out commands to FOUR blind teammates as they manipulate a ball in a maze on a tilting table.

Fun times, right?

So off we go. It's fairly close the whole way, but Foa Foa does pull ahead a bit near the end. They get their giant ball to the maze first, and start working the tilting table. Galu rolls in shortly after, and it's already clear that something is up with good Russell, who is having more difficulty maneuvering than he should, never mind the blindfold.

Russell then has a very hard time taking his position at the tilting table. You can see from the reactions of both his tribe and the other tribe, that they are slow to catch on to something being VERY not right. Russell finally gets to his corner of the table, and within seconds he collapses face down on the edge of the table, then slides off onto the ground.

Jeff tells everybody to stop what they are doing, stay in place. He calls in medical, and they start their thing. As medical works away, it's clear that this is very serious.

Jeff makes a few decisions. He calls the challenge, there will be no reward, but double tribal is still on. Go back to camp. If Russell is okay, you'll see him then. Everybody, in slight shock, shuffles off.

Then we have a few scenes at the Galu camp where, understandably, everybody is in a daze. They've lost their leader. And they still have to figure out who to send home tonight. Not a happy time in the Galu camp.

Back to Russell with the medical team, and Jeff is still right there. Russell is flat out on the ground while they work him. Eventually they try to get him to sit up, and he passes out again, and for a minute or two they can't get any response out of him. It's very emotional, very scary.

And part of me is thinking, this is too personal, too private. We should not have cameras shoved in this man's face at this time. This is one of those times when I feel a little dirty watching reality TV shows. Just being honest.

Russell finally comes around, and when he seems coherent, Jeff tells him that they've got to pull him from the game. Russell tries to fight this, "I'm just a little dehydrated", but it's so obvious that he can't go on.

And surprisingly, Jeff is very kind to him, telling him that he was a great leader and his tribe was the powerhouse. You did an amazing job, but you've pushed yourself too far, and brother, you gotta go. Then Jeff says he going to shut up now, and walks away.

Russell just lays there, crying, with the damn cameras still in his face.

Tissue?

Over to the Foa Foa camp. Liz is very upset about the double tribal thing. She goes to Natalie, and they both realize it's going to be one of them going home. They'll just write each other's name down and see how it goes.

Then bad Russell goes to Natalie and tells her to put Liz's name down. (Remember, he hates Liz because she rightfully told him he was lying to her. ("She threatened me!") And Natalie is all, dude, we know it's one of us, I'm already writing Liz's name down. Now go back to wherever you munchkins go when the cameras aren't rolling.

Liz goes to Mick and Jaison, making a subtle plea for their vote, but not getting hateful or anything. They don't promise anything either way.

Cut to Galu, where Shambo is trying to sell herself to the Galu girls, and it backfires, especially with Monica. "YOU wrote my name down at tribal. The ONLY one who did." And this is a valid point.

Then we have the Galu guys, trying to make a decision about the vote. They seem in agreement that Shambo "is nothing", not a threat. John is focused on Monica, and wanting to break up the Monica/Laura alliance (that I didn't even know existed, but anyway). John and Erik eventually meet with Shambo, and tell her to vote for Monica.

So we get to tribal.

All 13 remaining people are seated around the campfire, so you already know something is up. These people should be separated so they can do the double eviction.

Jeff tells them that good Russell has been pulled, and that, for him, the incident was the scariest moment in the history of Survivor. (Not sure about that. Other things have been pretty brutal. The guy in Season 2 who fell face forward into the fire, for instance. But I'll see where he's going with this.)

Then Jeff turns the whole tribal discussion into a perspective session. There's really not that much talk of game play, it's more about how do you deal when obstacles come up in your life. Again, this is surprising coming from Jeff, like he's a new "touchy-feely" kind of Jeff. And I kind of like it a little bit.

Then Jeff explains that, due to the unprecedented situation (he's never had to actually stop a challenge before), that there will be no tribal, at all. No one is going home.

Then he asks for their reactions, and things get a little out of hand. Actually, bad Russell gets out of hand (With Mick right behind him, but not as bad.) Russell slams the other tribe, and goes off about how they are going to kick their butts.

It's just not the right time for that, ya dumb asses. Can you not see that people on the Galu tribe started crying when they heard about Russell? Save your alpha-male crap for another time.

Erik, on Galu, is none too happy, and lashes out, even though he's fighting back tears. He was very eloquent. Good Russell worked very hard, and "every bead of sweat" he put out is with them, they will remember him, and they will win this.

Mick on Foa Foa: "Bring it." Now he's off my list as well. You and bad Russell should have kept your mouths shut, let the day be the day, and just go home. Let the game start back up tomorrow. A man could have died, you idiots, respect that.

Jeff then sends Foa Foa home without any remarks. He then sends Galu out with a wish of "Good Luck".

As the closing credits roll, we get some words from good Russell: "To do it and fail, is better than to never try" and he's thrilled to be getting back to "the job that I love: being a loving husband to my wife and father to my child."

Sniff.

So folks, I wasn't able to poke a lot of fun this time around. Just didn't seem right.

Peace.