So we start with Natalie in the Diary Room, and she's feeling a little blue that the cliques have been broken up. Of course she is. Girl will now have to fend for herself, which leaves her less time to think of excuses to touch Jessie.
Russell doesn't fess up that he cast the single vote to evict Jordan, though he does reveal in the Diary Room that it was Casey that got him thinking. ("You're number 4 in that group. - I'm number 2. - Four. - Two. " And then Banana Man and Shirtless Man glare at each other.)
Anyway, out to the courtyard, where the HOH competition is still going on, the big whirly thing with swings that is whacking people into the giant diploma (I really enjoyed watching those people hit that thing. Some people find pleasure where they can, sayin.)
Kevin is the first to plummet, losing a boa and some false eyelashes in the process. There are 5 mystery gifts for the first 5 tumblers, and Kevin ends up with $5,000. As he later admits in the Diary Room, this is not such a good thing, as people who win money become instant targets in the BB house. Good, let him see what it's LIKE to be a target, drama queen needs to ratchet the attitude down a notch.
Lydia quickly follows Kevin to the ground, and she gets a 42" Plasma TV, which also makes her a target in the BB world. In the Diary Room, Lydia is very excited about the new TV, as the one she currently has is a 12" VCR combo thing that she stole from an ex-boyfriend.
That last sentence does not surprise me in the least. Thieving little tramp. With big hair.
Then some of the remaining twirlers start throwing up. (Hmmm, guess that thing is going a little faster than it looks. Oh well, I don't like most of these people anyway, hurl away.)
Ronnie compares it to a "symphony of vomit". And then apparently the smell from the steaming debris is too much for his delicate system, and he slams to the ground. At least 4 people in the house had an instant orgasm at the sight of him doing so.
Then it was time for ME to reach the Big O when Chima, weave all jacked and looking ashy, SLAMS into the diploma and flips off of it, butt in the air, actually riding upside down for a while. But she manages to right herself (damn) and stays on for a while. Just can't stand that girl. (Note to Chima: that stuff you shoot out of your ass is NOT GOLD, okay?)
People keep dropping, and it eventually comes down to Russell and Jeff. Russell shoos everybody into the house so they can talk privately (hey, can he DO that? have we seen this before? somebody check the rules) and work out a deal.
In the end, Russell promises to Jeff that he and Jordan are safe, that he will put Ronnie up, and that he swears on his dad that this is true. Jeff makes him look him in the eye and repeat that last bit. Then Jeff drops, Russell is HOH.
See, I'm not a big fan of working deals during a competition, and BB history shows that with many of these deals, the person who agrees and then drops first often gets reamed. And then is surprised by the reaming. In a game where people have to lie to win. Hello?
Oh, and Jordan's mysterygift for dropping early is that she's safe from being a Have Not, but has to select 3 people to BE the Have Nots this week. She's completely fair and draws names: Natalie (she's fine with it), Kevin (not as fine, but okay), and Jessie, who is a complete baby about it. This guy just sucks. Man up, dude.
Natalie and Jessie race to Russell and try to get him to put up Kevin and Lydia for winning the money and TV. Okay, not crazy about either of those two, but seriously. They had no idea what prize they would be getting, and since neither has any upper body strength and the attention span of a gnat, chances were pretty strong they'd be the first out of the competition. Nominate them for other reasons, but not this.
Ronnie is convinced that America will give him the mystery "coup d'etat" power because they think he will use it wisely. Again with the superiority complex, and of course he works in another Star Wars reference. America, please don't be stupid about this. I'm begging you.
Attention geeks of the world: This Ronnie guy? This is how people perceive you. So, on your next dateless Saturday night, when you're wondering why nobody calls? Play back the tapes of Ronnie, compare his actions with yours, and stop doing anything you're doing that is comparable to anything Ronnie does or says. Especially the Star Wars crap. Your life will improve within hours.
Russell shows off his HOH room, and then reads a letter from his dad. It is actually very moving, with sage advice about how a man should conduct himself. Later in the Diary Room, Russell says "I can only hope I'm making my dad proud."
Then Russell chats with Jeff in the HOH room. They talk a bit about strong families, and respect, and the right thing to do. Then Russell asks Jeff to team up with him. And it appears to be a genuine, no lying, real conversation. Has this happened on BB before?
I officially take back the snide things I said about Russell at the first of the season. He has definitely grown on me. Then again, he may flip back to being a jerk, I'm often wrong with these things. We'll see.
Lydia the Worthless then races up to Russell in the HOH room, jumps in his bed, and pours on the fake mushiness, touching him and all. When he looks at her like the skank she is, she switches gears and starts slamming Jessie and Natalie. Gotta give the girl credit, she's an equal opportunity destroyer. Which is fine in this game. Until you lie about, which is where we had our falling out. (Not the she knows me at all or cares, just mentioning it.)
Russell then meets with Jessie, Natalie and Chima, and spills about what Lydia just spilled. (Except for the skanky part. As far as I could tell, he didn't fondle them or demonstrate how limber he is by clawing the ceiling with his toes.) They act all outraged, with Chima calling Lydia a "bi-polar drama queen". It's true, but CHIMA says this. Girl, please.
Worthless Ronnie then has his tea-time with Russell, and tries to play it like the entire house wanted Russell out but Ronnie was the Dark Knight and saved his ass, with an implied "so you owe me". And by the way, put up Kevin and Lydia. Russell tells him he's in no danger.
That had better be a lie.
Russell in the Diary Room: "If anyone does not follow my requests, you are my next target." Um, Russter, they can't hear you in that room. Might want to send an email. Just a suggestion.
So we get to the Nomination Ceremony. Jeff's key is the first one out of the box. (Okay, dudes Russ and Jeffie, if you wanna keep your new alliance secret, don't put each other's key first. That key is symbolic, got it. Keep it on the down low.)
And the Nominees are Ronnie and Lydia.
(That made two orgasms for me in one show. Really stoked about that.)
Russell rips in to Ronnie, not holding back. Very nice. Ronnie, as usual when forced to face the consequences of his actions, doesn't have anything intelligent to say, and instead sits there wishing for his Empire Strikes Back jammies and his Bobba Fett doll.
(Oh wait. Did I just out myself as a Star Wars freak? Surely not. Everyone knows about the Bobba Fett doll, right? Right? Oh gawd.)
And Russell doesn't say a WORD to Lydia about why she's being nominated. Nothing. A calmer person would think, okay then, I must just be a pawn, Ronnie is the target. But I'm sure Lydia and all of her personalities will not take this calmly. There will be inner turmoil, misplaced anger, sexual confusion, and extensive over-use of hair products.
Wait, did I just summarize the entire show with that last sentence?
Hmmm.
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