We start with Jackie and Gloomy Gracie in dance class, klutzing around with lots of other mommies and daughters. As they finish up, Jackie determinedly avoids an ice cream date with one of the other moms. During this, the other mom's bratty little girl whispers something in Gracie's ear.
As they are walking home, Jackie politely asks Gracie what evil little Caitlan said. Gracie reports that Caitlan said her mom was daddy's girlfriend before daddy met Jackie. Then they laugh it off.
Okay, WHAT is going on with Jackie and her secret family? Clearly something is up, and we need to find out soon. It's getting old.
At the hospital, Dr. O'Hara drops in on Jackie, just to let her know that when Jackie is "finished with this punishment" thing, that she's here for her. (See Jackie? O'Hara's a keeper, quit playing your emotionally-distancing mind games.) And by the way, Jacks, you've still got your wedding ring on.
Jackie immediately panics, and of course right then Eddie comes wandering up, so she has to shoo him away. Then horrors! She can't get the ring off. She races to the bathroom, slathers on enough soap to clean a small country, and it still won't come off. Great.
And wouldn't you know it, some rude person has decided to go into cardiac arrest and is being rushed into the ER, so Jackie has to go pay attention and everything. At least her hands are already clean.
The cardiac arrest guy doesn't make it, Coop calls him, and then everybody files out of the room except for Jackie. She makes sure he's presentable, then goes through a paper sack that came in with him. Inside we have some personal things: a rented DVD, some bills that need to be mailed, a shaving razor. And a cell phone.
Jackie checks the missed text messages on the phone, and sees a series of increasingly angry texts from someone (girlfriend?) waiting on this guy to show up somewhere. The last text is really hateful. Jackie calls the number, gets voice mail, and leaves an urgent message to call the hospital.
Then she goes in the bathroom and does a line of something. And she still can't get the ring off.
Coop corners her, pretty agitated and basically threatens her over the organ donor thing. She'd better come up with some legal paperwork, pronto.
So Jackie goes in the bathroom and does another line.
Then she goes to see Dr. O'Hara. Wants O'Hara to use one of her fancy medical saw things to cut the ring off. O'Hara doesn't think that's such a great idea, what will she tell Kevin? Just do it. And while you're sawing, what should I do about Coop harrassing me over that tiny illegal thing I did with the organ donation?
O'Hara sighs. You know what you need to do. And the ring pops off.
Jackie finds Coop in Eddie's pharmacy, forces Eddie to leave his own office, and then she slams Coop all over the place for being AWOL when the organ donor thing went down. "There was a huge gap where a doctor should be." Lets him have it.
Of course, he gets all flustered and grabs a hooter. Jackie lets his hand stay there, for several astonishing minutes, while she continues to berate him. "You need to trust me." Then, amazingly, she kisses him. And not in the way you kiss your son before he gets on the schoolbus.
Immediately after, Jackie races to the bathroom and brushes her teeth.
Zoey in the hallway: "I just cleaned a really big man. 600 pounds." Then she waltzes off.
Later, Jackie goes to see Eddie, and discovers workmen hauling things out of the pharmacy. It's the big shut down. Jackie finds Eddie back in his private office. He's over it, high on valium. She apparently thinks this is sexy, she jumps him, and they rut away.
Zoey walks in on them.
And Zoey reacts as expected, lots of hyterical blathering and trying to avert her eyes. Jackie orders her out of the room. Zoey, polite to the end: "Bye Eddie." Like they just finished double dips at the ice cream social.
Then Jackie and Zoey are working a patient who apparently doesn't speak English, so they are carrying on a sidebar conversation. Giddy Zoey: "You and Eddie are cute together." Jackie: "I am not afraid to kill you in front of a priest."
Zoey just can't let it go, and later informs Jackie: "I went to second with my manager at Burger King." Jackie just walks away.
And stops by O'Hara's office, where she pops the door open and tells her "Zoey walked in on me and Eddie. And I kissed Coop." O'Hara guffaws like a drunken sailor wearing Prada. Jackie: "I thought you'd like that." Then she saunters off.
Jackie picks up a hammer, goes into the bathroom yet again, sits on the floor, and then smashes her wedding ring finger. Hard. Okay, then. We now have an excuse to tell Kevin with the ring thing. All done.
Coop is the one who splints Jackie's handiwork. He whispers to her "I'm keeping your kiss." Uh oh.
Jackie is preparing to leave the hospital, tidying up her desk. She pulls out the bag of belongings from the cardiac patient, puts stamps on all the bills, and drops them in a mailbox on her way out the door. On the sidewalk, she briefly practices the dance moves that she and Gracie learned that morning, then she gets out the patient's cell phone and starts letting his contacts know what happened as she wanders into the night.
And I thought MY life was complicated. Sheesh.
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