#40 - "True Blood" - Season 2, Episode 7

First, let me clarify. I was confused in the last review because I didn't understand how Marina could be stronger than Bill, I thought he had made her. But in watching the "previously on Knots Landing" scenes before this episode started, we see Marina say "I'm your maker" before pouncing on Bill and being rude about letting him up.

My bad. So Marina was the one in the rustic farmhouse back in the day, with Bill showing up in search of food and ending up being Undead and all. Dots connected. Okay, carry on.

We have Deputy Andy running through a field, still looking for that damn pig.

Cut back to Orgy Camp, where half the town is still fornicating and somebody is pounding on drums even though we can't see them. Tara, with those crazy blood eyes, races up to captured Sam and licks his face. I guess this is a sign of greeting at a ritualistic orgy, or maybe Sam had some remoulade sauce on his face that she couldn't pass up.

Then Deputy Andy bursts on the scene, has to pause for a moment, cause, you know, it's all a bit much, and even the hippest among us would need a second to process THIS shindig. Then he manages to pull out his gun, and it SEEMS like he shoots somebody (this was kind of unclear) and suddenly Sam is free and running away.

But he's being chased by the still-vibrating Mary Ann. Sam spies an owl or something taking flight, and gets the inspiration to turn into a bird as well and flies off into the night, leaving Mary Ann all pissed back on earth. (Though I had to think, dude, if you can shift into any animal, why didn't you use that skill back at the orgy when they were being really mean to you? Just wondering.)

Cut to Sookie and Hugo in the basement of the Light of Day super-chapel. Hugo is being all whiny and unhelpful, and Sookie is pawing through stacks of Christian board games where the players get to judge other people and send them to Hell. (Hey, I wonder if George and Laura were able to write off such items on their White House expense accounts. Ya think?)

Back to Marina and Bill in the hotel, where she's being all bad-ass and proving to Bill that she's stronger and can move really, really fast. While she's nuzzling him, she whines "You smell like HER, sweet and cheap.

Then we have another flashback. Now we're in Los Angeles, 1935. I'm not sure what Marina's name is during this bit, but Bill's name is Alfred. (The names are not important, really, I'm just trying to show that I do pay attention from time to time.) Marina has brought back some dingy chorus dancer for Bill to feed on. But he's not interested.

Marina: "He's in one of his moods. Again."

So then they have a big fight, with Bill yelling things like "I can't stand the sight of you" and "You have lost your humanity". And Marina countering with "You will outgrow this conscience." Apparently Bill is already transitioning from nasty man in the last episode to the Sensitive Guy that eventually snags Sookie.

Cut to Eric and the female Dallas vamp leader (can't remember her name) spying on things outside the Light of Day compound. They don't see anything out of order, which means they suck as investigative reporters, since Sookie and Hugo are imprisoned in the cellar. Eric does say "I am not interested in Sookie". Liar

Cut to a post-coital Jason and Sarah inside the chapel. She's all aglow, crying because she's so happy. Sarah: "I feel closer to God than I ever have." Then announces that they must tell Steve about the two of them, the Vow of Honesty thing and all that. Jason replies: "Steve has guns." Sarah reconsiders, and agrees that the announcement can wait a bit.

Scene with Jessica and Hoyt back at the hotel. They discuss their sexual experiences (Hoyt: "I ain't never done it with a girl". Jessica: "What have you done it WITH?"), and it turns out they are both virgins. But they are both very interested in changing that status. So while Jessica slumbers, Hoyt races down to the gift shop and buys tons of candles and rose petals to set the mood. Awww.

Tara and Eggs wake up in Sookie's house, with no memory of the sexual free-for-all of the previous night. Tara fesses that she's never blacked out like that from smoking weed. Eggs says it sometimes happens at Mary Ann's parties. Uh, clue number one, ya think?

Quick shot of human-form Sam grabbing a hidden gun at Merlotte's.

Steve confronts Sookie and Hugo in their godly prison cell in the basement, and wimpy Hugo spills that Sookie's last name is Stackhouse. Steve makes the connection with Jason, and races off. Way to go, Hugo. This is why they name crappy cars after you.

Sookie tries sending out a telepathic message to the missing Barry.

Bill and Marina back at the hotel. They are apparently testing each other by remaining somewhat in the sun streaming in the windows. Blood is dripping from various orifices on both of them. Bill states "The bleeds have begun", and I would imagine that every straight man across the world immediately starts crying at hearing those words.

Bill wants to call Eric to save Sookie. Marina lets him know that Eric is "the reason I'm here. He wants the girl, William". Oh boy. More attempts by Bill to break free, more evidence that Marina is stronger and faster than Bill.

Steve and his goon Gabe drive up to Jason, who is trying to escape the compound but doing a bad job by obviously carrying his suitcase, and they snag him.

Deputy Andy tries explaining to the police chief what he saw last night. The police chief is not interested, probably distracted by the fact that he had a bigger role on "Newhart".

Over to Sookie's house, where Mary Ann shows up covered in blood, and carrying a dead animal. Tara and Eggs take it in like nothing is odd about this at all. Clue number two.

Crazy Reverend Steve tells the very confused Jason "you are going to hell. And you are going there today." Then Steve hands Jason over to Gabe, because it's really fun to think about killing people until you actually have to do it. Or something like that.

Sam, pistol drawn, confronts Daphne at Ye Olde Swimming Hole. Daphne, serenely splashing around in the water, is not the slightest bit perturbed at the weapon pointed her way. She explains that Mary Ann is a god, and that Sam is nothing but a flea compared to Mary Ann. Won't you join me in my worship of Mary Ann?

Oh boy.

Quick scene with Sookie and Hugo in the basement, where she touches him and realizes that HE's the traitor. What the hell? She quizzes him, and it turns out that he's just all pissy because his Dallas vamp master won't turn him. These people are just so rude and petty. You can't always get what you want, have you not heard the song?

Then it's the morning of the Lock-In at Light of Day, which will supposedly end in a vampire being tied to a cross. Sarah is on the steps of the chapel, welcoming the flock, fakeness oozing. Steve shows up, and tells Sarah that they need to talke about Jason. Uh oh.

Off-campus a bit, Gabe is about to "send Jason to hell", when Jason fights back, pummeling him, and getting away.

Quick shot of Lafayette making drug connections over the phone. Guess he's back in business with the V thing. Still don't get that.

Over to Merlotte's, where Arlene pulls Tara aside, and is really worried "about last night". Seems she blacked out, but has a pretty strong feeling that some wicked sex took place. Tara, girl, this is clue number three, think about it. Geez.

Andy stomps into Merlotte's, looking for Terry, but ends up tellin all y'all that he seen what they done last night, with the sex and the drums. Everybody laughs. He drunk again. (Uh, Tara, clue number four.)

Jason, running in the night, trying to escape from God Camp, and a jeep races up. OMG! But it turns out to be Sarah. (Whew, right?) But then Sarah, with some seriously jacked-up hair, climbs out of the jeep and apparently shoots Jason. What?

Back at the swimmin hole, Daphne, all glistening, meets Mary Ann on the dock. Mary Ann to Daphne: "Thank you for your service." Then what appears to be Eggs, with the wicked blood eyes, steps forward and stabs Daphne.

Okay, people, I am SO not understanding what is going ON here.

Again with Sookie and Hugo in the holding cell, with Hugo yelling to Gabe that Sookie knows all thanks to the mind meld. Gabe races in, beats the crap out of Hugo, and then turns on Sookie.

Flash to Los Angeles, 1935, again. Bill to Marina: "You know I don't love you. I will never love you. Let me go." When Marina seems a little unconvinced, he tries to stake himself. She finally caves, and utters some official vamp phrase that releases him from her hold.

Back at the Dallas hotel, where current-day Marina is holding current-day Bill hostage, full-of-issues Barry the telepath shows up at their door, giving them Sookie's message about where she is, what's going on, and how unpleasant things are.

Eric, somewhere in the hotel, overhears this. It appears that he grabs/kills/does something to Barry, in that weird fast-motion vampire way, and then Eric races into the night.

Back at the Sookie and Hugo holding cell at God Camp, Gabe is apparently on the verge of violating Sookie in order to prove... something unclear and stupid. Then suddenly Gabe is smacked away by some powerful creature. Sookie, in panicky but grateful mode, looks up at said creature.

It's Godric.

(OMG!)