#56 - Big Brother - Season 11, Episode 19

We start with the BB announcer letting us know that tonight we will have a "live" POV Competition, a "live" Eviction, and a "live" HOH Competition. Wow. The tech crew is going to be really busy for the next little bit.

I'm pretty sure producer Allison Grodner is none too happy about the Chima shenanigans that led to cramming all this into one hour. I don't think Chima will be getting a Christmas card this year.

Natalie in the Diary Room: "I have no true friends in this house." Really? Think that might have something to do with you putting all your hormonal eggs in the Jessie basket?

Then we see Jordan meeting with Natalie in the pantry. Jordan tells Nat "You're the pawn. I want Lydia out." Why did you do that, Jordan? With the wackiness this week, just keep your mouth shut until after the POV comp. Things can backfire. And do you seriously think that Natalie is not going to run tell the others what you just said?

Natalie runs to tell the others what Jordan just said. Well, she actually only tells Kevin, but you get the picture. Kevin and Natalie then try to cheer Lydia up, saying she just has to win the POV. Lydia gets back in touch with reality for a brief second and says: "In case you haven't noticed, I haven't won sh** in this house." Oh, I noticed, girl. Which makes your stupid actions in the house even more baffling.

Russell tells Michelle: "If you ever go up, I'll take you off." We're just alike, you and me, playing to win. Let's see, that means that Russell has now officially promised to "have the back" of more houseguests than actually started the game, never mind the remaining 7. Dude, it's gonna bite you, just sayin.

Russell in the Diary Room: "Jordan should have taken out Michelle or me." And there's the cockiness again. And the shifting alliances. He still has a chance, but he's juggling a lot of promises right now, and gravity might kick his ass.

Then we have Natalie, Kevin and Lydia in a night-vision scene, where Natalie asks Lydia how many times she hooked up with Jessie. Turns out there was at least one situation where Lydia "serviced" Jessie under the covers in the HOH Room. We even get to see a shot of Lydia, post-service, tumbling out of the bed and racing off.

Put THAT picture in your scrapbook, Lydia. Proud of yourself?

We're almost to the point of a cat fight between Natalie and Lydia, and Kevin sends them out of the room because he's over it and needs some sleep. Amazingly, after traipsing to another room, Lydia and Natalie bond, and decide that Jessie was playing them both and they hate him. Really? So I guess the drunken eulogy with the two of you and Chima drinking the Jessie Wine wasn't worth the runny mascara after all? Just sayin.

A few scenes later, Kevin, Natalie and Lydia come up with a plan to say that Michelle and Russell have a "final two" endgame plan, and that their next target is Jeff. Natalie dubs this plan the "Bosley and the Two Angels" operation. Natalie is clearly missing a few chromosomes.

So Kevin starts the tactical move, telling Jeff, while they are alone in the courtyard, that Michelle and Russell are gunning for him. Jeff buys it. (Poor Jeff, really nice and decent guy, but he'll never get an invitation from Mensa.) He runs to tell Jordan, and wants to backdoor Russell this week. Jordan is not so sure this is the best plan. (Good girl.)

Side note, on a subject that I have whined about before: Why are these houseguests so FILTHY? There's crap all over the floor, with jockstraps and panties hanging from the light fixtures. Pick UP after yourself. We know you have the time. Geez.

Natalie gets the phone call from home that she won during the last HOH competition. Her dad seems decent, Natalie cries even though she said she wouldn't, and we learn that Daddy has raised Natalie on his own. Good for him. Still don't like her, sorry. She just doesn't have the maturity to understand that you have to earn what you want.

So we get to the POV competition, one of those "before or after" things about events in the house. Jordan eventually wins. Yay!

Julie tells the folks that they have a few minutes to strategize before the actual POV ceremony. We see shots of Jordan and Jeff talking to Kevin in the pantry. WHY? Are they actually buying his crap about the Russell/Michelle lie? Boo!

So I'm actually expecting a backdoor at the POV ceremony. But Jordan lets the nominations stand. Whew!

Time for the actual Eviction. Now, because we normally only see a small smidge of what's happening in the house, the votes are actually locked in way before the ceremony, and the "save me" speeches from the nominees are usually pointless. But this was a crazy week. Meaning this little speech might save your ass.

Natalie takes advantage of this, and actually makes some valid points. "I have nothing." She's all alone, and is ready to stay in the game by doing what she needs to do. Lydia, of course, makes the weak, standard plea that you should "vote for who will further you in this game". Lydia's not even trying.

And she gets the boot. (Kevin is the only one who votes to keep her.)

I really expected Lydia to twist off as she left the house, but instead she hugs only Kevin and then races out the door. In the exit interview with Julie, she's fairly calm. The only exciting part is when she tells Julie they better have cameras in the Jury House when she deals with Jessie.

Then it's time for the HOH Competition, and Julie tells everyone that this event is in keeping with BB's theme this season of "recycling". Say what? Did we know that was the theme? I didn't catch that. The only time I saw anything being reused was when Natalie and Lydia fished Chima's microphone out of the hot tub.

Anyway, the competition involves the houseguests trying to drop aluminum cans into plastic tubes. The winner is whoever gets 24 in the tubes first, or the best total after an hour. And then we cut away. We'll find out the result on Sunday.

And then the entire production crew collapses in an exhausted sweat, after jumping through hoops all week because of the Chima meltdown. Did I mention that Chima has been banned from appearing on any CBS-owned network, including MTV and VH1? Cracks me up.

Am I being too hard on Chima? No. She didn't have anything happen to her that hasn't happened a hundred times on this show. (And far worse things have happened. How long do you think Chima would have survived on Evel Dick's season? Seriously.)

Bottom line, don't come up in this house if you aren't willing to fight for the money. To stick it out, suck it up, and do what you have to do. THAT is a winner.

Word.