Ray's zipping along in his car, arguing with some Team Mom on his phone, when he spies a woman trying to change a flat tire in the rain. They chat a bit, and Ray ends up asking her if she'd like to grab some lunch.
Next thing you know, they're having some very energetic sex in what appears to be a hallway, knocking over furniture and howling like banshees.
Wow. That was pretty quick. What the hell?
Then we learn that the woman, Jemma, is a client. Tanya calls Ray with an assessment: "She wanted more of a female fantasy." But she's agreed to a do-over.
So here we are again, on the same stretch of road with the same fake flat tire. This time, Ray moves more slowly, pretends to be a book publisher, and Jemma appears to be enjoying herself. But when she role-plays that she needs to go meet her boyfriend, and Ray doesn't try to stop her, she gets mad for real and storms off.
Ray meets with Tanya, and she tries to explain what this client is looking for, and how he needs to adjust his actions and work on a "love at first sight" angle. When he scoffs at all this fuss, Tanya is not pleased with him: "YOU'RE not paying. And stop snorting with derision."
Jessica and Ronnie take the ugly twins to a super-cheap buffet, where Ronnie explains to the kiddos that's Dad's not made of money anymore, problems with some stock investments and all. Jessica tries to downplay it all as if someone just has a gas bubble and it will pass. Ronnie tells Damon that he will not be getting the car he promised to buy him.
Cut to the kids over at Ray's fixer-upper house, where they spill about Ronnie being broke. Ray, seeing an in, tells the kids that HE will buy the car. The little tykes' eyes light up, but they are still amazingly ugly.
Which means Ray needs to get busy and figure out this Jemma thing, since she's their only active client at the moment.
Tanya is attending the final class of her motivational training seminar, wherein Floyd tries to get the class members to take "Part II" of the training. No one is interested since, you know, Floyd's kind of a loser. Tanya (stupidly) feels sorry for him and blurts out "I'm in!"
Later, when they are alone, Floyd tries pushing her to write a check for the next series of classes. She fesses up that she really doesn't want to take them, not right now anyway, she only did that to help him out. He rambles some craziness, and we realize he's not just irritating and weird, we're gonna have to throw borderline-psychotic into the mix.
Ray goes on a third run with Jemma, and this time she's not even pretending to change the tire, just standing there. They wander into the restaurant, and Ray tries to follow the script Jemma has in her head. But he does something wrong again, and out the door she goes.
Suddenly, Ray thinks he understands what she wants and he runs after her. He babbles something about this being "destiny", and bingo, he's hit the magic button. They kiss.
Just as the high school principal marches past and spies Ray in the embrace.
Short scene with Jessica and Jessica's shrill little hag of a mother, and Mom is not thrilled with the financial situation: "He takes away money and you still have to give him sex?" Mom thinks Ronnie is lying.
Cut to Ray and Jemma rolling around on a convenient romantic beach that we've never seen before. She crawls on top of him and says she "might fall in love with you". Of course, Ray doesn't respond the right way.
Jemma sighs, hops up, walks a bit away, and calls somebody on her cell. Ray's phone rings. It's Tanya: "When somebody says I love you, you say I love you back." Click.
This is surreal.
Jemma comes back over, they try again, Ray mumbles that he loves her, but still doesn't get it quite right. She gets bitchy, he loses his cool ("I feel like a dancing monkey!"), big fight, and Jemma stomps away again. This is just not going to work. Ray assumes it's over.
Amazingly, we learn that Jemma paid the stud fee to Tanya anyway.
Then poor Tanya has to deal with crazy Floyd showing up at her house. He starts off by wanting the handouts back that he used in the training seminar. (What?) She asks if everything is okay, and he says it's time for "the talk". So he launches into this lunatic "break-up" speech, even though there hasn't been a speck of a relationship.
It gets really bad. He is so beyond delusional that even timid Tanya has had enough and starts trying to yell over his inane babbling: "I went out with you ONE time because I felt SORRY for you" and "You're a 100 years old!" He doesn't hear a word of it. As Tanya puts it, she's being stalked by a "creepy motivational speaker!".
Quick scene with Jessica and Ronnie in bed. He tries to get some lovin (really?), but she is having none of that: "I'm not in the mood. Maybe it's the economy."
Back to Tanya, who's a mess after finally getting Freaky Floyd out of her house. She calls her mother, who is a totally unsympathetic bitch and scolds Tanya for calling her so late if it's not an emergency. It's 8:30pm. Tanya hangs up on her.
And calls Ray, tears streaming, and gets his voice mail. "Ray, where ARE you?"
Well, he's over at Jemma's house, having a conversation on the porch. He's honest with her, he needs the money, this has to work out. He throws out "I think I can make you happy." Part of this is the shtick he thinks she wants to hear. At the same time, he kinda believes it.
This is gettin all kinds of messy.
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